Author Topic: Declining Politely  (Read 568 times)

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Seeker23

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Declining Politely
« on: March 14, 2014, 07:37:37 AM »
In college I was friends with a guy and a girl. They later became a couple. You could say I got them together. They became the sickly sweet couple who finish each others sentences and believe they are perfection bestowed unto the world. Spending any amount of time with them causes your brain to melt into a puddle. Years passed and we socialised every few months and kept in touch. Then, the girl took offense to some imaginary slight I apparently made when they were first dating and decided she no longer wanted me in her life. I kept in touch with the guy and made a few olive-branch attempts to mend the rift with the girl, to no avail.
Today, I received an invite in the mail to their wedding, postmarked 2 days previous. Their wedding is in 3 weeks.
How do I go about politely declining this invite, which makes me feel like they need a warm body to fill seats? Once upon a time I considered both to be my closest friends so I don't want to be rude.
Any advice on how to handle this situation?

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Declining Politely
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2014, 08:42:32 AM »
You're obviously B-list so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Just send back an RSVP saying, 'I'm not able to attend.'  And leave it at that.  It is completely polite and you don't need to put in an explanation.

If the guy asks you about it after the fact, you could just quietly say to him that you already had plans for the day - even if those plans were to wash your hair and watch Netflix all day.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

purple

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Re: Declining Politely
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2014, 02:24:37 AM »
I don't think the relationship between you (current or past) has any bearing on the way an invitation should be politely declined.  Just send back an RSVP that says you are unable to attend.

If your question is more about whether you ought to send back a nice card and perhaps a gift, then that is where the relationship aspect comes into it.  Strict etiquette does not require that you do, however many people choose to.

Also, you shouldn't try to speculate about why somebody sends you an invitation to anything - that is rude - although as long as you're only venting that on an internet forum full of strangers and not saying it to the actual invite sender, then I think you're in the clear.