Child etiquette

[ginlyn32]

For parents:

Never, ever use age as an excuse for your child's behavior (example: saying "He's only 3!" when the child runs through the restaurant screaming like a banshee). Unless the child in question is an infant, the parent is responsible for teaching the child appropriate behavior. The child will likely never learn if you, the parent, never teach him and make excuses for bad behavior. Start when they are young (2-3) and they will learn.

ginlyn

[caranfin]

Never, ever use age as an excuse for your child's behavior (example: saying "He's only 3!" when the child runs through the restaurant screaming like a banshee).

And if you find yourself tempted to do this, consider that if he's too young to behave appropriately in a given setting, he is probably too young to be in a given setting. Don't take your 3-year-old to a fancy restaurant and then expect people to forgive his behavior "because he's too young to know better." If he's too young to know better, he's too young to be there.

[M-theory]

Rules regarding children for others:
1. You are not allowed to touch, play with, or engage children without their guardians' permission.

Please define "engage". I was at a restaurant with my grandparents this afternoon, and there was a 2-month-old baby at the table next to us. My grandmother and I spent basically the entire time smiling at him and trying to catch his eye. (He was really cute!) Was this rude of us?

[SiotehCat]

Rules regarding children for parents:

1. Don't take your young child to a late-night movie showing.
2. Don't take your young child to horror movies at ALL. (Seriously, you brought a 5-year-old to Silent Hill?)

Wait, why? If the child is not bothering anyone, then why? Should these things be up to the parents? Don't parents know their children best? I would think that the rule would be *If your child acts up in the theater, dont take them. Or get them out of the theater once they start acting up.

My child likes horror movies, and we have been to a few late night movie showings. I think as long as its legal, and nobody else is being bothered by it, it should be nobody's business but ours.

[Lisbeth]

Rules regarding children for parents:

1. Don't take your young child to a late-night movie showing.
2. Don't take your young child to horror movies at ALL. (Seriously, you brought a 5-year-old to Silent Hill?)

Wait, why? If the child is not bothering anyone, then why? Should these things be up to the parents? Don't parents know their children best? I would think that the rule would be *If your child acts up in the theater, dont take them. Or get them out of the theater once they start acting up.

My child likes horror movies, and we have been to a few late night movie showings. I think as long as its legal, and nobody else is being bothered by it, it should be nobody's business but ours.

How do you know nobody else is being bothered by it?  The fact that they don't speak up doesn't mean that they're not being bothered by it-possibly that there isn't any way for them to do it without making it worse for others who are trying to watch the movie.

Sorry, but there are times when "it's nobody's business but ours," "we know what's best for our child," and "our child isn't bothering anyone" just don't fly.

[SiotehCat]

Rules regarding children for parents:

1. Don't take your young child to a late-night movie showing.
2. Don't take your young child to horror movies at ALL. (Seriously, you brought a 5-year-old to Silent Hill?)

Wait, why? If the child is not bothering anyone, then why? Should these things be up to the parents? Don't parents know their children best? I would think that the rule would be *If your child acts up in the theater, dont take them. Or get them out of the theater once they start acting up.

My child likes horror movies, and we have been to a few late night movie showings. I think as long as its legal, and nobody else is being bothered by it, it should be nobody's business but ours.

How do you know nobody else is being bothered by it?  The fact that they don't speak up doesn't mean that they're not being bothered by it-possibly that there isn't any way for them to do it without making it worse for others who are trying to watch the movie.

Sorry, but there are times when "it's nobody's business but ours," "we know what's best for our child," and "our child isn't bothering anyone" just don't fly.

I don't think I understand you. The rule Do not take your child to a horror movie AT ALL doesn't indicate that the child is being a bother to anyone. It does not say that the child is being loud or is scared or is any of that. They just don't  believe that children should be watching horror movies, and im sorry but the movies that we watch are nobody's business but ours.

[Lisbeth]

Rules regarding children for parents:

1. Don't take your young child to a late-night movie showing.
2. Don't take your young child to horror movies at ALL. (Seriously, you brought a 5-year-old to Silent Hill?)

Wait, why? If the child is not bothering anyone, then why? Should these things be up to the parents? Don't parents know their children best? I would think that the rule would be *If your child acts up in the theater, dont take them. Or get them out of the theater once they start acting up.

My child likes horror movies, and we have been to a few late night movie showings. I think as long as its legal, and nobody else is being bothered by it, it should be nobody's business but ours.

How do you know nobody else is being bothered by it?  The fact that they don't speak up doesn't mean that they're not being bothered by it-possibly that there isn't any way for them to do it without making it worse for others who are trying to watch the movie.

Sorry, but there are times when "it's nobody's business but ours," "we know what's best for our child," and "our child isn't bothering anyone" just don't fly.

I don't think I understand you. The rule Do not take your child to a horror movie AT ALL doesn't indicate that the child is being a bother to anyone. It does not say that the child is being loud or is scared or is any of that. They just don't  believe that children should be watching horror movies, and im sorry but the movies that we watch are nobody's business but ours.

I stand by my previous post.

Regardless of how well your particular children behave at movies and in other situations, you're not entitled to an exception to rules just for you on the basis of "It's nobody's business but ours."  There are public places where children don't belong, and horror movies are among them.  If you get an exception, every other parent who wants to bring their children will clamor to do so, and many of those children can't handle horror movies.  So, the rule has to apply to everyone-regardless of who it inconveniences.

[FoxPaws]

Instead of specifying "horror movies", how about: Please don't bring your children to R or NC17 rated movies.

I wish theaters would enforce such a rule. Any time I ever saw a kid under 14 at an R rated movie, they were either scared and crying, or bored and being a nuisance. And no, I never said anything. It wasn't worth missing half the movie to get into an argument with a clueless parent. Awhile back, on another thread, someone suggested that theaters should charge ALL tickets to R rated films at the adult price. I think that is an excellent idea.

If parents deem it acceptable for their young children to see these films, they can always wait for the DVD to come out and screen them at home.

[MaggieB]

I stand by my previous post.

Regardless of how well your particular children behave at movies and in other situations, you're not entitled to an exception to rules just for you on the basis of "It's nobody's business but ours."  There are public places where children don't belong, and horror movies are among them.  If you get an exception, every other parent who wants to bring their children will clamor to do so, and many of those children can't handle horror movies.  So, the rule has to apply to everyone-regardless of who it inconveniences.

I agree that people are not entitled to break rules because the rest of us should be minding our own business.  But where is the rule that says children are not allowed in horror movies?  Theaters will allow children into these movies if they're accompanied by a parent.  If a child can handle these movies, why do the rest of us care? 

If a parent makes a mistake in believing that their child can handle the movie, he or she should immediately correct the mistake by removing the child.  But it sounds like you're saying that there is something inherently rude about the presence of a child at a horror movie, and that's just not true.  It's rude to allow your child to disturb other people regardless of the venue.

[SiotehCat]

I stand by my previous post.

Regardless of how well your particular children behave at movies and in other situations, you're not entitled to an exception to rules just for you on the basis of "It's nobody's business but ours."  There are public places where children don't belong, and horror movies are among them.  If you get an exception, every other parent who wants to bring their children will clamor to do so, and many of those children can't handle horror movies.  So, the rule has to apply to everyone-regardless of who it inconveniences.

I agree that people are not entitled to break rules because the rest of us should be minding our own business.  But where is the rule that says children are not allowed in horror movies?  Theaters will allow children into these movies if they're accompanied by a parent.  If a child can handle these movies, why do the rest of us care? 

If a parent makes a mistake in believing that their child can handle the movie, he or she should immediately correct the mistake by removing the child.  But it sounds like you're saying that there is something inherently rude about the presence of a child at a horror movie, and that's just not true.  It's rude to allow your child to disturb other people regardless of the venue.

Thanks,Maggie...you said what i wanted to say, just couldn't get it out. Where the rule came from is what I couldn't understand, because the first time I ever heard of it being a rule was a couple of posts before mine and it looked like that one poster made it up.Rated R means that one must be over 18 or accompanied by an adult.

Its not acceptable to tell a parent what to feed their children. I would like to make the rule Do NOT feed your kids fast food EVER, but thats just not right because parents should be the ones allowed to make those decisions. I don't see this as any different then telling parents what their kids can and cannot be watching.

Also, does the rule mean horror movies,period or horror movies at the theater? Because the theater has its own rules, and they cover all disturbances,not just those made by children. What they don't say is that I am not allowed to bring my child into a horror movie. Just a couple of weeks ago, we went to see Watchmen opening night, and they were carding. A teenage couple was not allowed into the theater, but me and my son were. 

[Lisbeth]

Also, does the rule mean horror movies,period or horror movies at the theater? Because the theater has its own rules, and they cover all disturbances,not just those made by children. What they don't say is that I am not allowed to bring my child into a horror movie. Just a couple of weeks ago, we went to see Watchmen opening night, and they were carding. A teenage couple was not allowed into the theater, but me and my son were. 

I would say the rule covers children in theaters, not necessarily children at horror movies.

Like you say, the rule is that no child, or anyone else, should be allowed to make a disturbance.  And I do agree that it isn't polite for another patron to tell these parents that their child doesn't belong.

But, at the same time, one can more reliably expect an older person to know not to make a disturbance, and to expect them to discipline themselves. With a small child, someone has to quiet them or take them out-they wouldn't know to do this themselves.  I think that the more likely it is that someone has to do this, the more necessary it becomes for a rule that prohibits persons who are less able to control themselves from being present-whoever their parents are-when their inability to control themselves comes at the expense of someone else.  Sometimes a rule is necessary to apply to everyone, even if there are potential exceptions like your child.  This is why "It's none of your business" wouldn't fly.  The rule would be there to protect all patrons from consequences caused by out-of-control children.

[SiotehCat]

Also, does the rule mean horror movies,period or horror movies at the theater? Because the theater has its own rules, and they cover all disturbances,not just those made by children. What they don't say is that I am not allowed to bring my child into a horror movie. Just a couple of weeks ago, we went to see Watchmen opening night, and they were carding. A teenage couple was not allowed into the theater, but me and my son were. 

I would say the rule covers children in theaters, not necessarily children at horror movies.

Like you say, the rule is that no child, or anyone else, should be allowed to make a disturbance.  And I do agree that it isn't polite for another patron to tell these parents that their child doesn't belong.


But, at the same time, one can more reliably expect an older person to know not to make a disturbance, and to expect them to discipline themselves. With a small child, someone has to quiet them or take them out-they wouldn't know to do this themselves.  I think that the more likely it is that someone has to do this, the more necessary it becomes for a rule that prohibits persons who are less able to control themselves from being present-whoever their parents are-when their inability to control themselves comes at the expense of someone else.  Sometimes a rule is necessary to apply to everyone, even if there are potential exceptions like your child.  This is why "It's none of your business" wouldn't fly.  The rule would be there to protect all patrons from consequences caused by out-of-control children.

If its about children being a disturbance, then why allow them in the theater at all? OR why allow them into any movie not rated G?

[Lisbeth]

Also, does the rule mean horror movies,period or horror movies at the theater? Because the theater has its own rules, and they cover all disturbances,not just those made by children. What they don't say is that I am not allowed to bring my child into a horror movie. Just a couple of weeks ago, we went to see Watchmen opening night, and they were carding. A teenage couple was not allowed into the theater, but me and my son were. 

I would say the rule covers children in theaters, not necessarily children at horror movies.

Like you say, the rule is that no child, or anyone else, should be allowed to make a disturbance.  And I do agree that it isn't polite for another patron to tell these parents that their child doesn't belong.


But, at the same time, one can more reliably expect an older person to know not to make a disturbance, and to expect them to discipline themselves. With a small child, someone has to quiet them or take them out-they wouldn't know to do this themselves.  I think that the more likely it is that someone has to do this, the more necessary it becomes for a rule that prohibits persons who are less able to control themselves from being present-whoever their parents are-when their inability to control themselves comes at the expense of someone else.  Sometimes a rule is necessary to apply to everyone, even if there are potential exceptions like your child.  This is why "It's none of your business" wouldn't fly.  The rule would be there to protect all patrons from consequences caused by out-of-control children.

If its about children being a disturbance, then why allow them in the theater at all? OR why allow them into any movie not rated G?

I don't think it's about children in general being a disturbance, but certain types of movies, like horror and violent action, would seem to lend themselves more to the possibility that children will make a disturbance than a romance or drama.

And certain movies are made for children, like, say, Disney and Pixar movies.

I do think that before parents bring children into movies, the children need to be mature enough to understand basic movie theater etiquette-no talking, crying, rustling paper, making excessive noise or moving around, or otherwise disturbing others-regardless of the type of movie it is.

[mechtilde]

Instead of specifying "horror movies", how about: Please don't bring your children to R or NC17 rated movies.

I wish theaters would enforce such a rule. Any time I ever saw a kid under 14 at an R rated movie, they were either scared and crying, or bored and being a nuisance. And no, I never said anything. It wasn't worth missing half the movie to get into an argument with a clueless parent. Awhile back, on another thread, someone suggested that theaters should charge ALL tickets to R rated films at the adult price. I think that is an excellent idea.

If parents deem it acceptable for their young children to see these films, they can always wait for the DVD to come out and screen them at home.

That's what I like about the system in the UK- a child under the age limit is forbidden to enter the cinema and see the film.

[SiotehCat]

Also, does the rule mean horror movies,period or horror movies at the theater? Because the theater has its own rules, and they cover all disturbances,not just those made by children. What they don't say is that I am not allowed to bring my child into a horror movie. Just a couple of weeks ago, we went to see Watchmen opening night, and they were carding. A teenage couple was not allowed into the theater, but me and my son were. 

I would say the rule covers children in theaters, not necessarily children at horror movies.

Like you say, the rule is that no child, or anyone else, should be allowed to make a disturbance.  And I do agree that it isn't polite for another patron to tell these parents that their child doesn't belong.


But, at the same time, one can more reliably expect an older person to know not to make a disturbance, and to expect them to discipline themselves. With a small child, someone has to quiet them or take them out-they wouldn't know to do this themselves.  I think that the more likely it is that someone has to do this, the more necessary it becomes for a rule that prohibits persons who are less able to control themselves from being present-whoever their parents are-when their inability to control themselves comes at the expense of someone else.  Sometimes a rule is necessary to apply to everyone, even if there are potential exceptions like your child.  This is why "It's none of your business" wouldn't fly.  The rule would be there to protect all patrons from consequences caused by out-of-control children.

If its about children being a disturbance, then why allow them in the theater at all? OR why allow them into any movie not rated G?

I do think that before parents bring children into movies, the children need to be mature enough to understand basic movie theater etiquette-no talking, crying, rustling paper, making excessive noise or moving around, or otherwise disturbing others-regardless of the type of movie it is.

Mature enough and old enough are different things. And  isn't the parent the best person to determine whether or not their child is mature enough?