Author Topic: Online d@ting Etiquette  (Read 2362 times)

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snowball's chance

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Online d@ting Etiquette
« on: March 09, 2009, 10:43:59 PM »
1.) There are d@ting sites to meet all possible d@ting needs.  If you are looking to date a clam worshipper, don't register for JustSquirrelWorshippers.com in a effort to cast a wider net.

2.) Read profiles and respond accordingly.  Don't respond if you are outside of what the person specifies they are looking for.

3.) Don't deceive people about your job, income, # of children, marital status, weight, age ETA: or whether you smoke and/or drink alcohol.  Believeing no one will respond to your profile unless you lie about X is no reason to do so.  They'll be more angry to find out they were lied to.

4.) Do not use a picture that has been doctored so it looks little like your true self, a picture taken more than 3 years ago, or a picture taken before a significant change in your physical appearance, such as gaining/losing 20 lbs, significant change in hairstyle like drastic coloring, cutting, or losing hair, or going from a military-style crew cut to a mohawk.  Don't use pictures that may respresent yourself differently, i.e. a pic in a martial arts uniform if you wore it once for Halloween, or sitting in a canoe if you hate the outdoors, posing with your cousin's pit bull if you dislike dogs.

5.) Sending/getting a message or wink doesn't require a response if the recipient isn't interested.

6.) Do your best to proof-read & spell check your profile.

7.) A first message should be like a first greeting IRL.  Do not ask for a phone number or date right away.

8.) If someone's profile reads: 'Party X Sucks Twinkies", and you are a card carrying memeber of Party X -- move on.  Don't message the person to change their mind, criticize their opinion, or to troll.

9.) Your 1st message should NOT include any of the following: lewd or derogatory comments, guesses at Scrabble skill-level, instant false kinship ('You like Bones?! You must be my SOUL MATE."), generalizations about an entire gender, or "You look like my ex/3rd grade teacher/future parent of my child".
« Last Edit: March 09, 2009, 10:51:43 PM by snowball's chance »

SquishyMooMoo

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Re: Online d@ting Etiquette
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2009, 03:07:40 AM »
Respect boundaries. If they want to email for a month before divulging their phone number, don't push it. If they want to meet for lunch in a public place for your first date instead of a cozy candlelit dinner at your house, respect it. Even if YOU know you're not a creep/stalker/psycho, don't expect them to take your word for it. Let your actions speak for themselves.

Treat each person you contact as an individual. Don't work up a form email that you send to anyone on your match list. Take the time to tailor your contact to the individual and it will pay off.





crazedartist

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Re: Online d@ting Etiquette
« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2009, 03:35:45 PM »
If using a site that informs you when your profile is viewed, do not write angry messages to the person who viewed it asking why he or she didn't contact you after viewing your profile.

Don't contact people just to criticize how they describe themselves, what they want in a partner, or their sexual orientation. (Example: http://psychoticlettersfrommen.blogspot.com/2009/03/graduate.html )

More examples of what not to do here:
http://psychoticlettersfrommen.blogspot.com/2009/06/plfm-presents-how-not-to-respond-to.html
(Not affiliated with this site, just love it... and hey, it's topical!)

« Last Edit: June 18, 2009, 11:26:54 PM by crazedartist »

AndreaBeth105

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Re: Online d@ting Etiquette
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2009, 10:43:18 AM »
Snowball's chance, you know the show "bones"?  We must be soul mates!  ;D

Just kidding!  But I really love that show.

Back on topic:
If you only have the free subscription that does not allow you to communicate at all, please consider referencing this in your profile in some way.  I would like to know before I spend 20 minutes crafting a clever introductory email that you won't be able to read.
"Humor is reason gone mad." ~Groucho Marx

Emmy

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Re: Online d@ting Etiquette
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2009, 04:18:23 PM »
This is one for the online dating companies.

I think it is false advertising to have members profiles on the site that don't have access to it.  I imagine the majority of people who use a free trial don't purchase a subscription to the dating site, but still leave their profiles up after the trial is over.  If I was a paying customer, I would be annoyed that the person I wanted to contact wouldn't be able to get my message.  Like AndreaBeth said, I'd also be pretty peeved at taking the time to write a personal message, only to have somebody not be able to read it.  If a person is unable to have access to the site, it should say something on their profiles so members know who will actually get their message and how many people are active on the site before deciding to join. 

blarg314

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Re: Online d@ting Etiquette
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2009, 03:27:21 AM »
Respect boundaries. If they want to email for a month before divulging their phone number, don't push it.

At the same time, feel perfectly free to enforce your own boundaries. If your priority is to meet quickly, rather than conducting an extended email or phone relationship, then don't feel pressured to give in. While it's not polite to try to convince them to change, it's  perfectly fine to drop the correspondence if it doesn't match what you are looking for.

emeraldsage85

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Re: Online d@ting Etiquette
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2009, 01:09:19 AM »
I'd like to add this one: Send a picture that shows your face. If your body is included in the photo make sure it's fully clothed.

A couple of times I've opened an email to find the man has attached a picture of just his nether regions. :-X That guarantees that I will not be interested and the email will get deleted.

whiterose

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Re: Online d@ting Etiquette
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2009, 11:29:33 AM »
I'd like to add this one: Send a picture that shows your face. If your body is included in the photo make sure it's fully clothed.

A couple of times I've opened an email to find the man has attached a picture of just his nether regions. :-X That guarantees that I will not be interested and the email will get deleted.

Spinoff of this. If someone messages you on a general dating website (such as Myriads of Pisces) with a general message along the lines of "How are you? I like your profile and would like to get to know you better", do NOT message the person with a sexually explicit message if the person clearly is NOT looking for intimate encounters. Innuendo jokes fall under that category as well, even if they may not be explicit. It is a BIG turn off. It will guarantee your not getting a reply- or worse, getting reported for harassment.
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snowball's chance

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Re: Online d@ting Etiquette
« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2009, 03:41:34 PM »
Good points, EA & WR.  I bet those suggestions could be incorporated into #1, since there probably are dating sites where that kind of thing perfectly acceptable.