Disability Etiquette

[hellgirl]

I have a question.

When talking with someone in a wheelchair my natural inclination (in the absence of a chair I can sit in) is to take a knee and get down to roughly their eye level so they don't have to keep looking up. However this always seems a lot like when you crouch down to talk to a four year old and I worry about looking condescending.

So which do I do?

My preference is for the person to just take a step back (so I'm not looking straight up). This also solves my issue of personal space. People generally measure personal space from face to face, but since I'm not on the same level, it screws that up. So people end up standing very close to my knee, which is not fond of being touched.

I don't want anyone else dislocating their kneecaps to be on the same level as I am.

I tend to take the step back as well, otherwise my bum would stick out or I'd have trouble getting back up and that would just be awkward 
And I happen to know that a friend doesn't mind at all when pretty women bend down to talk to him. It gives him a lovely bonus view down their tops  Thankfully (and I'm sure his wife agrees) he seems to have grown out taking such shameless advantage now.

[JoW]

Another rule - The Handicappped parking space is not a cart coral.  Do not leave your empty cart in the handicapped space.  And if you are lucky enough to not need the Disabled space and you see a cart in the middle of it, do the next handicapped person a favor and move that cart. 

It is acceptable to leave one or two carts near, but not in the middle of, the handicapped space.  Some slighty handicapped folks may use a cart like a walker. 

(I did 3 months on crutches years ago.  I used the cart-as-walker many times.  I was not eligible for the handicapped space.)

[flo]

Children can have hidden disabilities just like adults!

[Nannerdoman]

Another rule - The Handicappped parking space is not a cart coral.  Do not leave your empty cart in the handicapped space.  And if you are lucky enough to not need the Disabled space and you see a cart in the middle of it, do the next handicapped person a favor and move that cart. 

It is acceptable to leave one or two carts near, but not in the middle of, the handicapped space.  Some slighty handicapped folks may use a cart like a walker. 

(I did 3 months on crutches years ago.  I used the cart-as-walker many times.  I was not eligible for the handicapped space.)

[/b]

Just FYI, at least in California you can get a temporary permit to park in handicapped parking for short-term needs like this.  Usually it's good for 6 months.  We did it a couple of years ago when my sister broke her ankle.  Check with your Department of Motor Vehicles.

[claddagh lass]

I'd like to add if the person has a Medic Alert bracelet do not grab their arm to see what's engraved on the other side.  Do not flip it over to read what's on the other side without their permission.

[Nannerdoman]

I'd like to add if the person has a Medic Alert bracelet do not grab their arm to see what's engraved on the other side.  Do not flip it over to read what's on the other side without their permission.

I was going to ask, "Do people do that?"--but the fact you posted it is an indication that they do.  When you ask them please not to do that, do they get all defensive ("I was just curious!  What's your problem?"), as though they had a right to invade your personal space, meddle with your jewelry, and acquire personal information about you?

[rashea]

I'd like to add if the person has a Medic Alert bracelet do not grab their arm to see what's engraved on the other side.  Do not flip it over to read what's on the other side without their permission.

I was going to ask, "Do people do that?"--but the fact you posted it is an indication that they do.  When you ask them please not to do that, do they get all defensive ("I was just curious!  What's your problem?"), as though they had a right to invade your personal space, meddle with your jewelry, and acquire personal information about you?

Happens all the time. For me, the issue was that mine was decorated and jeweled (the band) and so people didn't think of it as a medic alert bracelet until they happened to notice the symbol. And suddenly they were curious. 

[flo]

People always assume DD's is either a peanut allergy or diabetes.  Apparently those are the only two reasons people ever wear a medic alert bracelet!

[claddagh lass]

I was going to ask, "Do people do that?"--but the fact you posted it is an indication that they do.  When you ask them please not to do that, do they get all defensive ("I was just curious!  What's your problem?"), as though they had a right to invade your personal space, meddle with your jewelry, and acquire personal information about you?

Happens all the time. For me, the issue was that mine was decorated and jeweled (the band) and so people didn't think of it as a medic alert bracelet until they happened to notice the symbol. And suddenly they were curious.  

Mine's the stainless steel type.

I don't mind if people ask me about it.  They're more than welcome to ask and I'll do my best to explain.

Little kids I half expect to grab my arm or flip over my bracelet.  Little children don't always think about it or think that it's rude.

People always assume DD's is either a peanut allergy or diabetes.  Apparently those are the only two reasons people ever wear a medic alert bracelet!

I get asked quite frequently if I have diabetes.  They are often quite surprised when I tell them I have asthma and am allergic to penicilin.

[Midnight Kitty]

"I was just curious!  What's your problem?"

Answer:  What's yours?

[kherbert05]

I have a question.

When talking with someone in a wheelchair my natural inclination (in the absence of a chair I can sit in) is to take a knee and get down to roughly their eye level so they don't have to keep looking up. However this always seems a lot like when you crouch down to talk to a four year old and I worry about looking condescending.

So which do I do?

My preference is for the person to just take a step back (so I'm not looking straight up). This also solves my issue of personal space. People generally measure personal space from face to face, but since I'm not on the same level, it screws that up. So people end up standing very close to my knee, which is not fond of being touched.

I don't want anyone else dislocating their kneecaps to be on the same level as I am.

I step back but if I can't see a person's face I move down to see their face. I have a hard time understanding people if I can't see their face. Like someone else said - I can hear them but I can't understand them.