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Author Topic: I said WHAT???  (Read 4889 times)

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IndianInlaw

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I said WHAT???
« on: December 15, 2006, 09:07:14 PM »
I saw Mr. Personality today.  He's about 7 and going to  rule the world.  He came bounding up to me this afternoon, all excited.  I asked him about the book in his hand.

He asked what I had for him... ???

He said I told him I had something for him.

I know I didn't say that, nor would I.

But he was so excited and jumping around while I was saying I didn't remember saying that.

He said to bring it tomorrow.

I said it tomorrow is Saturday.


What should I do? 

I was thinking of bringing a box of slightly used kid's books,  would that be okay? 

He apparently believes I said that.
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Twik

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Re: I said WHAT???
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2006, 09:06:03 AM »
This is a tricky one. If the child had an honest misunderstanding, it's hard to disappoint him; on the other hand, you don't want to encourage manipulativeness.

If it were me (and I'm a soft touch), I'd bring in the books. However, I'd watch it to see if he tries this on a regular basis.
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CrayonOutlines

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Re: I said WHAT???
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2006, 09:10:32 AM »
I'd tell him he must have misunderstood me and I wouldn't bring him anything.  Like Twik said, he could just be trying to manipulate you.
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Chocolate Cake

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Re: I said WHAT???
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2006, 09:40:03 AM »
I agree with Courtney.  Don't reward bad behavior by giving in....even if it is Christmas.
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IndianInlaw

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Re: I said WHAT???
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2006, 10:05:21 AM »
I don't think he's being manipulative.  There are other kids I would suspect, but not him.

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Deetee

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Re: I said WHAT???
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2006, 12:18:49 PM »
I think some used books sound like a lovely gift. It makes children feel special to be remembered by people who don't "have to" be nice to them.
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CrayonOutlines

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Re: I said WHAT???
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2006, 02:44:27 PM »
Quote from: IndianInlaw on December 16, 2006, 10:05:21 AM
I don't think he's being manipulative.  There are other kids I would suspect, but not him.

Even if he's not being manipulative, it's still not a good lesson to teach him.  ChocolateCake hit the nail on the head when she said that it's reinforcing the behavior, which isn't one that would get him far in life.  It'd be good for him to learn that there are misunderstandings in life and that he doesn't always come out on top.

If you still just like him (and I think you do -- "Mr. Personality" -- cute!), you could wait until AFTER Christmas to give him the books.  That way, he still gets the books, but it's a separate exchange from this one and not a reinforcer for the behavior.  Thus, it'd be lesson learned and then an unrelated good thing that happens.  Make sense?
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MineralDiva

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Re: I said WHAT???
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2006, 06:02:00 PM »
It may not be manipulation, but it made my nose wrinkle to read it.  I think it was the part about him saying to "bring it tomorrow," and ignoring you when you tried to explain that you hadn't said anything about bringing something for him...yes, that's definitely cementing my impression.

I wouldn't budge.  How does a 7 year-old rank in "telling" you to do anything?  Particularly something you didn't offer to do in the first place?

Just be sweet and stand your ground.  "No" is a complete sentence!

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