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What to do while on the actual date

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Hawkwatcher:
This topic is a little more general than the on-line dating topic.  If it is too similar, please feel free to delete.  Many of these are ideas that I have gotten from reading this web site.  Some I have personal experience with.

1. Concentrate on your date:  If you go to dinner, do not flirt with the hot waiter or waitress.  Do no text your buddies.  If you see a friend, do not spend all your time with him or her.

2.  Treat your date as a date and not as a free psychologist.  Do not talk about the problems with former girlfriends/boyfriends, your parents, or your boss.

3.  Avoid racist, sexist, and other bigoted statements about large groups of people.   

4. Before you order your date's meal, ask your date first. Your date may find this behavior sexist.  Your date may also have allergies that you do not know about.  Realize that if you do order for your date, your date is probably going to expect you to pay for the meal.

5.  Who pays?  I generally think that it should be the person who does the asking and chooses the restaurant or activity.  However, I think that it would be nice if the other person takes care of the tip or pays for another activity. 

6.  Be honest with yourself and the other person.  If you are not interested in another date, do not act like you are interested.

7. Try to be on time for the date.  If you cannot make the date on time, call your date. 

8.  If the date is going poorly, finish the activity and then end the date.  For example: if you discover that your date has a habit you cannot live with while at dinner, wait to finish dinner before you leave.  I have heard cases where people have left in a middle of date relatively trivial reasons.  Of course, this rule does not apply if your date is aggressive or dangerous.

9.  Important:  if you provide transportation to the date, you need to provide transportation home.  Making your date walk home is not cool.  This rule does not apply if your date is aggressive or dangerous.

Lisbeth:
10.  Do not engage in kissing, making out, or any form of sexual behavior with your date without their express permission.  To do so could result in criminal charges against you.

snowball's chance:
1a: Don't openly "check out" other people in the vicinity in front of your date. 

5. IMHO, this should be, "the person who does the asking and chooses the activity offers to pay", because some people would rather pay for themselves, and that choice should be respected.  I know both men and women who would be uncomfortable having someone pay.

2 & 3.  Don't ask very personal questions on a first date, and don't reveal anything too personal about yourself, friends or family.  Actually listen to what your date says, even if they turn out to be as exciting as watching paint dry.  Don't look for every opportunity to turn the conversation back to you.  Don't interrupt, or if you need to (like talking to the server, or excusing yourself to the restroom), say, "Excuse me"

If you're having a meal or a drink, observe basic table manners.  Don't reach over your date's plate to grab a condiment, talk with your mouth full, cover your mouth if you have to burp suddenly, and use utensils when they are called for (yes, from my experience, these things DO need to be said).

rashea:

--- Quote from: snowball's chance on March 16, 2009, 09:17:17 AM ---2 & 3.  Don't ask very personal questions on a first date, and don't reveal anything too personal about yourself, friends or family.  Actually listen to what your date says, even if they turn out to be as exciting as watching paint dry.  Don't look for every opportunity to turn the conversation back to you.  Don't interrupt, or if you need to (like talking to the server, or excusing yourself to the restroom), say, "Excuse me"

--- End quote ---

And don't insist that your date tell you all about themselves, while offering nothing about who you are. It's just creepy for me if I feel like someone knows my whole life story and I don't know anything about them.

ginlyn32:
Don't make the first date feel like a job interview.

ginlyn

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