Author Topic: Christmas carols for the disturbed  (Read 2462 times)

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kingsrings

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Christmas carols for the disturbed
« on: December 22, 2006, 11:26:12 AM »
This was just too darkly funny and twisted to pass up...


CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED



* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?


* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are


* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas


* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me


* 5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....


* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me


* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire


* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why


* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?


* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

freakyfemme

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2006, 12:03:44 PM »
For the Sadistic:  Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

(Oh wait, that's already a Christmas carol, isn't it?)

Suze

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2006, 01:14:30 PM »
Ok - Someone posted a similar list on another forum - Here are a few more from that list
Suze

Amnesia --- I don't Remeber If I'll be Home for Christmas

Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

Senile Dementia -- Walking I a Winter Wonderland Miles form My House in My Slippers and Robe

Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I sit Here and Hyperventilate

Reality is for people who lack Imagination

Cyndi

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2006, 06:33:44 PM »
Ahaha! Funny!

Autistic - Have Yourself A Stimmy Little Christmas


And here's some monster carols I made up out of regular ones. Had the friends on Kaijuphile.com laughing :)

"Jingle Bells"
Stomping feet! Stomping feet! Stomping all the way!
Oh what fun it was to stomp on that city yesterday!

"Rocking Around the Christmas Tree"
Stomping around the Christmas Tree!
Have a stompy holiday!
Everyone's stomping merrily
and blowing Tokyo away!

"The Grinch Song"
You're a monster, SpaceGodzilla,
Your heart's an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, SpaceGodzilla,
I wouldn't touch you with a massively-clogged-up toilet bowl!

"Let It Snow"
Oh, the city outside is shaking
And the buildings are all quaking.
And since we've no place to romp...
Let him stomp! Let him stomp! Let him stomp!

"Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer"
Hedorah the stinky kaiju,
had a very smelly body,
and if you ever saw it,
you would even say P.U.!

"Sleigh Ride"
Just hear those kaiju stomp-stomping
and bang-bang-a-banging too
Come on, it's lovely weather
to go city stomping with you.
Outside the bombs are falling
And Godzilla's calling "skree-OONK!"
Come on, it's lovely weather
to go city-stomping with you

"Twelve Days of Christmas" (This one's long and Shezilla is the name of my fan-kaiju.)
On the first day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the second day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the third day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Three broken hummers,
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Four flying Rodans,
Three broken hummers,
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Five maser tanks!
Four flying Rodans,
Three broken hummers,
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Six Meganulas,
Five maser tanks!
Four flying Rodans,
Three broken hummers,
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Seven a-singing Elias,
Six Meganulas,
Five maser tanks!
Four flying Rodans,
Three broken hummers,
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Eight broken Mogeura parts,
Seven a-singing Elias,
Six Meganulas,
Five maser tanks!
Four flying Rodans,
Three broken hummers,
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Nine Gyaos a-swarming,
Eight broken Mogeura parts,
Seven a-singing Elias,
Six Meganulas,
Five maser tanks!
Four flying Rodans,
Three broken hummers,
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Ten Zilla eggs hatching,
Nine Gyaos a-swarming,
Eight broken Mogeura parts,
Seven a-singing Elias,
Six Meganulas,
Five maser tanks!
Four flying Rodans,
Three broken hummers,
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Eleven screaming extras,
Ten Zilla eggs hatching,
Nine Gyaos a-swarming,
Eight broken Mogeura parts,
Seven a-singing Elias,
Six Meganulas,
Five maser tanks!
Four flying Rodans,
Three broken hummers,
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
Shezilla gave to me:
Twelve Garudas malfunctioning,
Eleven screaming extras,
Ten Zilla eggs hatching,
Nine Gyaos a-swarming,
Eight broken Mogeura parts,
Seven a-singing Elias,
Six Meganulas,
Five maser tanks!
Four flying Rodans,
Three broken hummers,
Two Mothra larvae,
and Godzilla stomping in the city.

Lunadiana75

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2006, 06:42:27 PM »
Oh those are too funny!

Might I add:

Codependent: Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas... but NOT WITHOUT ME!!!!!
"POCKETS!"  From the new Dr. Who, "Runaway Bride" extra geek points if you laugh.

Cyndi

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2006, 06:52:34 PM »
Hehe!

Another autistic one - Rocking Around The Christmas Tree With The Pretty Shiny Lights And Twinkly Tinsel And Look At All The Candy Canes And Boy Does It Smell Nice...

Megalomania - O Come All Ye Faithful And Worship Me Because I Am Better Than You

Mrs. Eclipse

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2006, 09:38:44 PM »
What does the second autistic one imply?  I don't think I get that one
"My feet are killing me."
"That may be true, but you can't press charges unless you catch them in the act!"
-Sam & Max, Bright Side of the Moon

Clara Bow

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2006, 09:44:55 PM »
OCD (I can do this because I'm a sufferer) "Deck The Halls, but sure everything is symmetrical and pass the dustbuster because there's glitter on the rug again now I have to scrub the whole floor there's another smudge on the wall get the paint if I'm going to paint that one smudge I may as well do the whole room why does this always happen to me no one will help me and nothing's ever clean and I can't do everything by myself and where is the....."
Bipolar "Joy to the World, Joy to the World, God I Wish I Was Dead"
I have finally found the bar I can't get thrown out of....

Cyndi

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2006, 09:54:47 PM »
TerriblePun- I tend to focus a lot on details of things, sometimes to the point that I have to be dragged away from something or I'll stand there and stare. Busy carpets or kitchen floors make me crazy because of this.

Mrs. Eclipse

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2006, 10:16:53 PM »
OH!  Okay, I get it!  I have the same problem, but to a somewhat lesser extent, so that's not the first place my mind went to.
"My feet are killing me."
"That may be true, but you can't press charges unless you catch them in the act!"
-Sam & Max, Bright Side of the Moon

IndianInlaw

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #10 on: December 22, 2006, 10:31:53 PM »
Cyndi, when my son was little, he had a shirt that had two different colored sleeves.  He only wore it once because it drove him nuts.


IndianInlaw

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #11 on: December 22, 2006, 10:32:13 PM »

Cyndi

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Re: Christmas carols for the disturbed
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2006, 11:48:31 AM »
Haha, one time I had one of those asymetrical shirts with one long sleeve and no sleeve on the other side. I almost lost my mind and gave it away because I couldn't stand having one bare arm and one covered arm. I also hate knee-high stockings because they never stay up and on me, they have to be exactly the same height on my legs or I fidget like crazy.