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Suggestion: "That topic is not open for discussion"

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Auntie Mame:
I have found myself using this in a variety of situations.

1) I recently cut someone out of my life for a variety of reasons.  I still see him from time to time as we are both with the same theatre troupe (yes, when I see him, I am polite and professional but I do not engage.  I have also kept my personal feelings about him to myself).  He attempted to pester me about why I no longer spoke to him and I said "That topic is not open for discussion".  Similarly when he used the "use mutual acquaintances (and always the drama queens who live on drama on gossip) to guilt me into talking to him".  I said "That topic is not open for discussion"

2) When people pry into my personal life: "That topic is not open for discussion".

3) When people attempt to involve me gossip: "That topic is not open for discussion".  Or: "I think that's between them" and walk away.

I am ashamed to admit I used to be a HORRIBLE gossip and a "Woe as me pity party drama queen". Now I am very conscious of that and have worked very hard to change.* 

Anyone else used this or something similar?

*Heehee, a little too hard maybe, my friends now have to fuss at me "Pixie, we're your FRIENDS, you CAN tell us when your sad, it's OKAY". 

atirial:
I've used it once, but it tends to be a fallback once obfuscation and beandipping fail. The problem I found is that it can be a little confrontational, and gossip queens who are told outright that you won't supply them can take it badly. 

celine.lechat:
I use this and its variations quite often.
I find that this conveys a very different message from beandipping (or "so kind of you to take an interest."), because even someone who's completely obtuse (and doesn't recognise beandip for what it is) will get the message.
Yes, "gossip queens" get upset when you refuse to supply them with material, but they'll get upset at bean dip as well ("why do you keep changing the subject?").

Though I think beandip is more appropriate when people attempt to include me in gossip about someone else.

While an entire new subforum for this phrase would be a bit much, I think it should be added to the beandip subforum, since they're used in similar situations?

Millionaire Maria:

--- Quote from: atirial on March 26, 2009, 05:16:50 PM ---I've used it once, but it tends to be a fallback once obfuscation and beandipping fail. The problem I found is that it can be a little confrontational, and gossip queens who are told outright that you won't supply them can take it badly. 

--- End quote ---

Maybe, but this is a perfect example of etiquette not being about making people comfortable. People who are gossipping should be made to feel uncomfortable about it because it is inappropriate. "That topic is not open for discussion" or my personal favorite "I don't want to talk about that. It's none of my business" are perfectly polite ways of letting people know that what they are doing is rude.

nop:

--- Quote from: Littlepixie on March 20, 2009, 04:03:18 PM ---I have found myself using this in a variety of situations.

1) I recently cut someone out of my life for a variety of reasons.  I still see him from time to time as we are both with the same theatre troupe (yes, when I see him, I am polite and professional but I do not engage.  I have also kept my personal feelings about him to myself).  He attempted to pester me about why I no longer spoke to him and I said "That topic is not open for discussion".  Similarly when he used the "use mutual acquaintances (and always the drama queens who live on drama on gossip) to guilt me into talking to him".  I said "That topic is not open for discussion"

2) When people pry into my personal life: "That topic is not open for discussion".

3) When people attempt to involve me gossip: "That topic is not open for discussion".  Or: "I think that's between them" and walk away.

--- End quote ---

My take on being told gossip about other people is to say: "It's none of my business, & I'd rather not know the details."

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