How far do I need to go to accomodate special dietary needs ?

[POF]

Oh this will be a holiday to top them all ! ....... This particular pair had a really nasty episode with some other family members ( they instigated it ).  This is the first get together since it happened.   DH's family ( not all of them - but a goodlly number ) take the prize in passive aggressive behavior and whining and complaining. 

I am also having a Yankee Grab -    Oh the horror - we've never done it before - How will it work! What if we get something we don't like. Maybe we can;t afford it........ We USUALLY sit around and talk ( well snipe )Yikes - it's 5 - 10 dollars - PURELY Voluntarily - and I have a few extra's to accomodate anyone who wants to play but isn't prepared.

I also have a few games in the TV room to entertain the younger teen - college age set.....
Why is that ? why do you have special things for them ?  why are you playing Xmas movies in that room ? why can't we sit like logs and talk about Dear Aunts gall bladder ?

I will keep you posted. Thanks

[Lunadiana75]

Oh you horrible hostess you!  Trying to accomdate people's diets!  Preparing entertainment for the younger set!  Coming up with fun games!

What's next? Providing silverware and dishes for your guests?  Or perhaps trying to make people feel at home?!  Oh the humanity!

[sammycat]

I think you handled the situation perfectly, the activities sound great and the menu sounds delicious

It sounds like SIL is jealous and is still wanting to run the show even though the party is being held somewhere other than her house.

[Clara Bow]

Sister in law is being a you know what...she's trying to take over and you are perfectly within your rights to put the kibosh on it. She's lucky that you're doing the chicken to suit him...

[blarg314]

When I entertain for a group I will do my best to accomodate dietary restrictions, which means making sure that there is something for the person in question to eat, rather than making sure that they can eat everything.

Most people I've done this for are very polite about it and don't want to cause a fuss, and will often offer to bring something themselves.

However, people who abuse this privilige get dropped down in priority.  I'm talking about the vegetarians who make comments about charred flesh at a barbeque, or the people who insist on special accomodation and then eat the regular food too, or the ones who combine dietary restrictions with pickiness - the vegetarian who will only eat certain brands of veggie burgers, or hates tofu, mushrooms and nuts. 

[Lisbeth]

I think you did everything you could reasonably be expected to do to accommodate your BIL.

Your SIL needs to accept that she isn't in charge of your menu.  I would have told her, "I'm sorry you and BIL don't feel that you can join us.  We'll miss you."

[Morty'sCleaningLady]

SIL replies ... Oh No - he doesn't want to give up pizza night........ it's too bad that your so inflexible .....
{/quote]

Wait -- You, the individual that is specially preparing a fabulous entree and sides for BIL, is inflexible.  BIL not giving up one week of pizza is not inflexible. 

Is anyone else confused?

[graceh9]

It just irks the heck out of me that she expects 19 other people to go low salt because he has to...... I also think it's rude to hijack the menu..... I think I made a very reasonable - very typical accomodation - and all I get is whining and complaining.

I know - actually it's common knowledge - that BIL manages this restrictive diet by having a "regular meal" once a week - which is usually a fully loaded pizza. So I suggested - that since he really wants lasagna - can't he use XMAS dinner as his regular meal day ?

SIL replies ... Oh No - he doesn't want to give up pizza night........ it's too bad that your so inflexible .....


[/quote]

LOL  you are just so inflexible!  You might see if you can purchase a low sodium frozen lasagna -- I know there are lots of dietary meals available this way -- obviously don't go nuts trying to find it, b ut take a look at the frozen entrees section of an organic food store or well stocked supermarket and see if there isn't a low sodium entry.,

it is nuts to ruin everyone's meal because BIL can't give up pizza night -- you are already going above and beyond with the chicken

[graceh9]

And no egg beaters are still an egg product (just the yokes are removed and some food color put in) You would not believe how many people will not take that as a given.  I repeat -- Gah
[/quote]

I think that most people allergic to eggs are actually allergic to the egg protein in the whites -- so the whites are even worse than the yolks for these folks -- egg beaters wouldn't work at all -- it must be very frustrating to not be able to communicate that to people who insist on subtly poisoning their guests

[Suze]

And no egg beaters are still an egg product (just the yokes are removed and some food color put in) You would not believe how many people will not take that as a given.  I repeat -- Gah

I think that most people allergic to eggs are actually allergic to the egg protein in the whites -- so the whites are even worse than the yolks for these folks -- egg beaters wouldn't work at all -- it must be very frustrating to not be able to communicate that to people who insist on subtly poisoning their guests
[/quote]

And you would not believe what they HIDE egg, wheat, or milk in .... Look on the back of a bag of Or-Ida tater tots sometime, last I looked it had all three in. (other brands don't)

Since I mostly live at my friends house and them at mine we both keep a sort of "kosher" kitchen with food in it that is not "poisonous" (his term) for him.  There are products in the "regular" grocery store that are diet friendly, and we learned how to cook for him.

Something his MIL didn't do -- one night she invited us all to her house for supper and cards and served Shake and Bake pork chops (wheat and egg) mashed potatoes (milk and butter) and green beans (with butter) and wondered why we all turned right around and went out to eat (he lives on a lot of steak and fries at restaurants)

My Mom however looked at it as a challenge to feed him a "real meal" and went to the cookbook stash and started in (nothing like the WWII cookbooks - milkless, meatless, and eggless recipes for a jumping off point)

Suze

[Hawkwatcher]

Oh this will be a holiday to top them all ! ....... This particular pair had a really nasty episode with some other family members ( they instigated it ).  This is the first get together since it happened.   DH's family ( not all of them - but a goodlly number ) take the prize in passive aggressive behavior and whining and complaining. 

I am also having a Yankee Grab -    Oh the horror - we've never done it before - How will it work! What if we get something we don't like. Maybe we can;t afford it........ We USUALLY sit around and talk ( well snipe )Yikes - it's 5 - 10 dollars - PURELY Voluntarily - and I have a few extra's to accomodate anyone who wants to play but isn't prepared.

I also have a few games in the TV room to entertain the younger teen - college age set.....
Why is that ? why do you have special things for them ?  why are you playing Xmas movies in that room ? why can't we sit like logs and talk about Dear Aunts gall bladder ?
 

If they really want to "sit like logs" and talk about "Dear Aunt's gall bladder,"  they can stay home and discuss whatever they want.   

[Clara Bow]

They can go to my stepinlaws..they spend the whole day trying to come up with the most tragic and morbid stories about people that they can find. And when they run out of friends, relatives, townfolk etc, they start in on depressing news stories. I absolutely kid you not. They love to talk about who has died, become diseased, has fallen on hard financial times....it's nothing but illegitimate children and cancer all day.

[NotCinderell]

I know about restrictive diets - I have a friend who is allergic to EGGS, WHEAT, AND MILK plus should watch how much suger he eats.  Talk about fun trying to come up with anything like a normal meal! Let alone sweet anything (I can though)

Not to one-up, but I have a cousin who's intolerant to almost everything.  She's celiac, can't eat dairy, eggs, fish, meat, corn, spinach, and citrus.  I usually make a vegetable sautee with some beans and brown rice for her, with a fruit salad for dessert.  The best part is that she's actually not a picky eater, after all that, and she always happily eats whatever I cook for her as long as it's within her restrictions.

[Suze]

I know about restrictive diets - I have a friend who is allergic to EGGS, WHEAT, AND MILK plus should watch how much suger he eats.  Talk about fun trying to come up with anything like a normal meal! Let alone sweet anything (I can though)

Not to one-up, but I have a cousin who's intolerant to almost everything.  She's celiac, can't eat dairy, eggs, fish, meat, corn, spinach, and citrus.  I usually make a vegetable sautee with some beans and brown rice for her, with a fruit salad for dessert.  The best part is that she's actually not a picky eater, after all that, and she always happily eats whatever I cook for her as long as it's within her restrictions.

Wow - and here I thought my friend had it rough.  With those kind of problems I guess you can't afford to be a picky eater.

Ps - what does celiac mean? or is it a discriptive of the type of allergy problems she has. And you don't have to answer if you think I am being too nosey

Suze

[VorFemme]

Several years ago now, when DeHubby was still DeKid at home - he told his dad that he "couldn't eat" something.  The Future DFIL apparently took that as a challenge to his authority and the family rule of eating everything on your plate (no matter WHO put it on your plate).

DeKid eventually choked down a spoonful - whatever the MINIMUM was that he had to eat to be allowed to leave the table. 

And it came back up, accompanied by much of the rest of his dinner, to be deposited on his father.

Who never again forced him to eat anything that he "couldn't eat".

(It appears that it was a texture issue and not an allergy - as he has since eaten the same vegetable - although prepared differently.  There is a short list of items that have to be run through the blender if they are a MUST have for flavoring a dish - because the texture of those items still causes issues - over forty years later...........)