How far do I need to go to accomodate special dietary needs ?

[Gileswench]

The job of the hosts is to check for important dietary restrictions (severe allergies, reliegious/moral restrictions, medically required diets) and come up with something that will feed guests without killing them or offending their principals. It is the guests job to eat at least a bit of what is placed before them without complaint so long as it isn't going to harm them physically or force them to abandon their principals.

POF, you've more than done your part. Now it's up to your BIL and SIL to do theirs. And if they can't, well, they can stay home and order that pizza.

BTW, I'm not familiar with the term 'Yankee grab'; could someone explain what it is?

[Pixie]

You mentioned your recipe was "super secret"..... Do NOT give it to SIL.  I made that mistake once with my very super secret and special spaghetti sauce.   

 The "friend" I shared it with butchered the recipe..... (added carrots, broccoli, cauliflower,  and celery to spaghetti sauce???)   Canned it and entered it in the county fair with my late mother's name on it!   As in,   "Miss Emi-Lu's Spaghetti sauce"   I was livid.  Not only did she add things not in the recipe, she left out the meatballs, and some important ingredients because they were "too expensive"     But to put my Mom's name on something my mother would have thrown in the trash was very offensive to me.  What she entered in the fair was NOT my Mother's recipe.  I know because I make it exactly as my Mom did every New Year's Day.

  I didn't mind her entering HER sauce in the fair, I minded that she put my LATE Mother's name on it. (This was less than a year after my Mom passed)  But typical passive me, I never said a word, I just never shared a recipe with her again.  And I won't.

[artk2002]

... (added carrots, broccoli, cauliflower,  and celery to spaghetti sauce???)

An aside: My favorite pasta sauce has both carrots and celery in it.  It's wonderful (and a good way to sneak in some veggies when my boys weren't as interested in them.)  Aside from that, what this person did to your (mom's?) recipe was unconscionable!

[POF]

RE: How to play Yankee Grab - there are several versions - but this is the way I do it ! Every one brings a gift of a price range. ( ours is $5 - $10 ). All of the wrapped gifts are put on a table and everyone draws numbers. #1 Selects a gift and opens it. #2 Selects a gift, opens it and can keep it or trade with #1. - and down the line. After everyone has selected or traded gifts - #1 gets one last shot at a final trade. ( You have to trade if asked )

It's done more for the hiliarity of seeing what people get frantic over. Sometimes at work - people get really fixated on certain things and people keep making others swap.

[Gileswench]

Ah! I've actually played that game, but it was a Christmas ornament exchange. Sadly I wound up with a rather alarming pig in a Santa hat grinning atop a stack of ham, bacon, pork chops, etc. Still it was sort of amusing to play, and if the worst that happened was I wound up with a bizarre Christmas ornament and a funny story to go with it, well, that was just fine.

Thanks for the info!

[Lynda_34]

I remember that as a Chinese Auction we had at an office Christmas party years ago.
Celiac Disease is a dietary disease involving digestion.  just put celiac disease into a search engine and you'll get a good explanation. It is also a last ditch diagnosis as a lot of things are usually ruled out first.
I was taking care of an elderly woman with psych issues and confusion.  She had said she was hungry so we brought her a sandwich and a banana.  She refused the sandwich but devoured the banana.  I suddenly realized she had celiac disease it had been listed in her diagnoses but I hadn't made the connection and that she couldn't eat the bread.  I found her some more food she could eat but it amazed me that even in her confusion she was careful about what she ate.

My ex and I used to run a catering business and we could cook for everything but a renal or dialysis diet.  We catered for from "2 to 200".  All diets were accomodated, at one wedding we created two vegetarian meals for two guests, (they liked it so well they asked for the recipe) We accomodated all diets by not adding salt while cooking but making it available at the table.  Draining all fats from meats and taking food out of a preparation and putting it aside before adding meat to it. (Today I don't think I could easily accomodate a true vegan diet while catering)
I also think I should get credit for four postings for this one since I read to the end of the thread before posting and consolidated all this stuff.  YAY

[gjcva1]

POF, so how did your dinner go?  was your lasagna simply delicious as usual?  did BIL eat that or the chicken that you had set aside for him?

[willow08]

Yes, I would like to know how it went. P.S. I made a lasagna on Saturday and thought of you as I added sausage and cheese. "Take that, selfish BIL!!"

[POF]

Hi everyone,

XMAS went great - BIL did have some lasagna - he called me XMAS Eve and was kind of embarassed about his wife's meddling. She tends to a) have no common sense and b) put her nose in where it doesn't belong ( My observations not his ). He asked for the ingredient list for the lasagna and another dish and told me he could make some medicine adjustments to allow him to have a small piece.  Which he really enjoyed !  He also told me he had been saving his "free" weekly meal so he could enjoy XMAS. He opted to forgo a pizza party wife was having for the neighbors ..... hmmm - I kind of see who instigated this ......

He did eat the chicken, baked potato and plain green beans I also had for him. His wife tends to be the food police and I think she really overstepped.

Everything else went great - people behaved , had fun with the activities and it was smooth sailing. A few things were definitely not up to par etiquette wise.

Another BIL and SIL ( #2 ) live really far away and flew in for the occasion. They called on their way to my house and announced they were bringing another guest  ( a great aunt on her side ). This lady turned on the kitchen TV during dinner so she could eat and watch the game !. I offered to set her a tray in the den with some of the guys - but she refused and said she wanted to stay in the kitchen. ( It's a large open kitchen/dining room ). No one else wanted it on - so I made her turn down the sound ! 

 BIL SIL #2 also showed up at my house with there dog ! They had flown in this week - but had told me before they left darling poochy was staying home.  So in they walk with extra guest and dog ! I like animals - but XMAS day with 20 people is not an occasion to bring a pet. - Plus my pets were fed , watered and bedded down in the spare bedroom - while theirs had the run of the house. I decided to let it slide to keep the peace - but it was rude. Their dog pee'd on my carpet as well 

But overall - a really nice time - I am still recuperating.

[willow08]

It's funny how you think you've covered all of the bases and the relatives you don't expect trouble from blindside you, huh?

I had some last-minute "who's bringing what?" drama that came out of no where. At that point, I just didn't have the energy to deal with it.

[Lisbeth]

Hi everyone,

XMAS went great - BIL did have some lasagna - he called me XMAS Eve and was kind of embarassed about his wife's meddling. She tends to a) have no common sense and b) put her nose in where it doesn't belong ( My observations not his ). He asked for the ingredient list for the lasagna and another dish and told me he could make some medicine adjustments to allow him to have a small piece.  Which he really enjoyed !  He also told me he had been saving his "free" weekly meal so he could enjoy XMAS. He opted to forgo a pizza party wife was having for the neighbors ..... hmmm - I kind of see who instigated this ......

He did eat the chicken, baked potato and plain green beans I also had for him. His wife tends to be the food police and I think she really overstepped.

Everything else went great - people behaved , had fun with the activities and it was smooth sailing. A few things were definitely not up to par etiquette wise.

Another BIL and SIL ( #2 ) live really far away and flew in for the occasion. They called on their way to my house and announced they were bringing another guest  ( a great aunt on her side ). This lady turned on the kitchen TV during dinner so she could eat and watch the game !. I offered to set her a tray in the den with some of the guys - but she refused and said she wanted to stay in the kitchen. ( It's a large open kitchen/dining room ). No one else wanted it on - so I made her turn down the sound ! 

 BIL SIL #2 also showed up at my house with there dog ! They had flown in this week - but had told me before they left darling poochy was staying home.  So in they walk with extra guest and dog ! I like animals - but XMAS day with 20 people is not an occasion to bring a pet. - Plus my pets were fed , watered and bedded down in the spare bedroom - while theirs had the run of the house. I decided to let it slide to keep the peace - but it was rude. Their dog pee'd on my carpet as well 

But overall - a really nice time - I am still recuperating.

I'm starting to wonder if there's any benefit at all (except to therapists) in families getting together for the holidays if they treat each other like this...

[Venus193]

I'm starting to wonder if there's any benefit at all (except to therapists) in families getting together for the holidays if they treat each other like this...

Ding, ding, DING; we have a WINNAH!

[Chartreuse]

I'm starting to wonder if there's any benefit at all (except to therapists) in families getting together for the holidays if they treat each other like this...

Ahemn...  "But they're FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMILY!"   

I'm always amazed at how much we're supposed to put up with from people we just happen to share some DNA with.

[supernova]

A very wise woman once told me, "Mixing holidays and family is rather like mixing alcohol and handguns."  There will always be those who think it's a great idea; and someone's bound to get hurt.

I had a feeling that it was POF's SIL that was the instigator, and not BIL.  I'm glad to hear he enjoyed his meal and had a good time.  Bummer about the rest of the rude relatives...  I think they're in every family. 

     - saphie

[JudiAU]

They can go to my stepinlaws..they spend the whole day trying to come up with the most tragic and morbid stories about people that they can find. And when they run out of friends, relatives, townfolk etc, they start in on depressing news stories. I absolutely kid you not. They love to talk about who has died, become diseased, has fallen on hard financial times....it's nothing but illegitimate children and cancer all day.

We must be related because that sounds exactly like my Aunt!