Etiquette School is in session! > Complete Silence

A new sub-forum!

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Ehelldame:
After having a very recent experience of being the focus of a few rather puerile, insulting comments from a family member on a social networking site, I thought that this would be a good area of etiquette to explore since it seems we don't typically discuss this here and when we do, many people feel justified in executing retaliatory rudeness. 

My choice was to not respond to the comments publicly.  I may eventually do so in private but there is no way I'm going to get into a public pissing contest with all the relatives watching and drag myself down to the other person's gutter level.  I honestly do not think people are stupid and when someone acts ugly and obnoxious while the other person refuses to play that game, people will rightly conclude who is the real jerk.   If both people were to start wallowing in the argument pigpen with each other, they both lose, imo. 

MDefarge:
I agree with that - I think many times people forget that once you've written something on, say Facebook or in an e-mail, you can NOT get rid of it - so a comment made in the heat of anger or snarkiness and sent without the benefit of stopping to drink a coke before hitting send end up with a permanent place in the world.

M-theory:
Sometimes this is the best not only to transmit the utter inappropriateness of what the offender said, but to remain polite yourself. I utilize it often.

(Of course, sometimes there are moments of rudeness that just defy human language...)

ShadesOfGrey:
So would that make this the "Icy Glare of DeathTM" category?

I really hope so :D

jibby:

--- Quote from: Ehelldame on March 23, 2009, 12:37:41 PM ---After having a very recent experience of being the focus of a few rather puerile, insulting comments from a family member on a social networking site, I thought that this would be a good area of etiquette to explore since it seems we don't typically discuss this here and when we do, many people feel justified in executing retaliatory rudeness. 

My choice was to not respond to the comments publicly.  I may eventually do so in private but there is no way I'm going to get into a public pissing contest with all the relatives watching and drag myself down to the other person's gutter level.  I honestly do not think people are stupid and when someone acts ugly and obnoxious while the other person refuses to play that game, people will rightly conclude who is the real jerk.   If both people were to start wallowing in the argument pigpen with each other, they both lose, imo. 

--- End quote ---

Hooray, new sub-forum!  

Re the bolded part: usually, but not when it's my inlaws.  If I can ever tell the story without getting angry all over again, I'll post a similar occurrence with DH's brother.  DH and I kept quiet, and unfortunately, their parents decided DH and I are the villains, and "none of you should be using Facebook at all bc it's bad".   ::)

BTW, I agree with you Dame...was just referencing my own crazy experience with it, which is certainly not the norm.

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