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  • April 25, 2015, 10:49:36 AM

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Author Topic: Didn't Have a Choice  (Read 1268 times)

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Morticia

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Didn't Have a Choice
« on: April 20, 2015, 09:31:04 AM »
Yesterday, I had to opt for complete silence because I was so utterly gobsmacked that anyone would do this. I had just left my building, and was admiring a lovely German shepherd, when the woman walking him called at me, "You're limping pretty well there!" What?!? Who says that? I mean, yeah, I walk with a limp and some days it's more noticeable than others, but still...

Anyway, it's just as well that this is considered a polite option, because if I had found my voice I am not sure I could have avoided being rude.
Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude...
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My travel blog: http://www.stepmonster.ca

Venus193

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Re: Didn't Have a Choice
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2015, 09:44:32 AM »
Sometimes complete silence is the best way to go, especially if you can't think of something to say that wouldn't get you tossed into Etiquette Hell behind the person you are calling out.

violinp

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Re: Didn't Have a Choice
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2015, 10:51:54 AM »
Sometimes complete silence is the best way to go, especially if you can't think of something to say that wouldn't get you tossed into Etiquette Hell behind the person you are calling out.

I couldn't agree more. Half the things I want to say to rude people sound "good" in my head, but in reality are just as rude, if not ruder than what was just said.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


rashea

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Re: Didn't Have a Choice
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2015, 12:19:53 PM »
I get this one. I think people are trying to say, "what's up, you're limping pretty badly, are you ok?" and it gets truncated coming out of their mouth.

This is one situation where I try to answer what they meant more than what they said. But, I've been dealing with it for years. I'm not saying that you need to take that approach, I just find it less trouble to do so.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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TootsNYC

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Re: Didn't Have a Choice
« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2015, 12:49:58 PM »
Or, maybe she meant "I've seen you limping worse than that, and you look like you're feeling better."

Or, "I notice you're limping; here's a little jocular sympathy. I'll pretend that limping is a good thing, and praise you on your ability."

And though either of those things are meant well, they so totally didn't work. And this whole incident is proof of why you should simply never comment on other people's appearance.
   If you know them well enough to have a conversation about how they injured themselves, or how their chronic condition is going, you would have had that conversation long before now.
So, just zip it, folks. 

Jones

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Re: Didn't Have a Choice
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2015, 01:22:26 PM »
Good job on the silence! I have been limping for a couple months now (chronic pain condition) and I don't know what I would do if someone commented on it. Fortunately no one has at this point, which goes to show that most of us know better than to comment on someone's apparent disability.

Mustard

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Re: Didn't Have a Choice
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2015, 01:47:06 PM »
And this whole incident is proof of why you should simply never comment on other people's appearance.
   If you know them well enough to have a conversation about how they injured themselves, or how their chronic condition is going, you would have had that conversation long before now.
So, just zip it, folks. 

My husband was at a dinner some years ago and found himself sitting next to a woman sporting two black eyes.  At the end of the evening she said 'you are the only person in this room who hasn't asked me about my eyes!  Would you like to know what happened?'

Reader.. he didn't.

Runningstar

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Re: Didn't Have a Choice
« Reply #7 on: Today at 06:42:07 AM »
Remaining silent about someone's limp (or other physical issue) is a lesson I've learned the hard way.  I bite my tongue almost always in time to just not ask what is none of my business.  I can give you a reason for this (admittedly nosy) question - the times where nobody asks and the injured person takes affront or is hurt that nobody even cared enough to ask them how they were/what happened/etc.  That is just awful for me, and then I feel very badly about my assumed  lack of caring.  For a complete stranger, I remain silent.  A friend I ask.  But there are people who I consider mere acquaintances, and then it is a harder call for me.