Author Topic: How do I handle this?  (Read 2376 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.


  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5791
Re: How do I handle this?
« Reply #30 on: December 11, 2014, 01:57:04 PM »
Just some thoughts on reciprocity in gift giving.

There should absolutely, utterly, completely be reciprocity in gift giving. BUT this does NOT mean that you only gift people at Christmas who will give you a gift that Christmas. This means that you may gift people at Christmas who help you out throughout the year in small ways. It may also mean that you give small token gifts and large elaborate gifts in return. (grandchildren and grandparents are a natural example). It also means that you may give gifts to young people just starting out and not expect anything in return that year or for a few years, but once those people are older and a bit better off, they can return the favour. There are so many examples of gifting that is reciprocal but not "tit for tat"

One example: My friends mom has taken me out for very nice dinners a few times. Most of these dinners were when I was a starving student. Each time, she refused to let me pay and was very clear that my only obligation was to take out some starving students when I was well off enough to do so. Reciprocal: yes, "tit for tat":no.

So enjoy your gifts and the expression affection that they are. In a few years, you can think about repaying.