I know the host sets the menu but...

[ShadesOfGrey]

Momof2boys, I agree, and I so understand the difficulty you face here. It is rather unfair and undermining of her to do such a thing to a 6 year old.  I wish for you a confident decision and peace of mind about it, in this situation. 

[GlindaBunny]

What's fried bologna?

[minnaloushe]

What's fried bologna?

Bologna: processed sandwich meat product.  Very plain and bland. Popular with kids.
Fried: cooked in a frying pan with med. to high heat.

Really yummy, not good for you at all.


To Mom2boys:  As stated before this is a great opportunity to put the new plan into action.  Do you use the red-, yellow-, green-light method, or something else?

[ncognito]

What's fried bologna?

Bologna: processed sandwich meat product.  Very plain and bland. Popular with kids.
Fried: cooked in a frying pan with med. to high heat.

Really yummy, not good for you at all.


To Mom2boys:  As stated before this is a great opportunity to put the new plan into action.  Do you use the red-, yellow-, green-light method, or something else?

I'm not sure what the red-, yellow-, green-light method is but I'd be interested in hearing about it because it sounds like a concept that son might grasp (hey mom might grasp it too, lol). BTW, great way to explain fried bologna. Son sure loves it and thinks it is yummy but I think his 6 year tase buds needs some adjusting (he hates steak, ribs, beef roast...heck he won't even eat french fries).

[minnaloushe]

It's an easy way to explain the concept of healthy eating to children in a way they can understand.  Green light foods are the "Good for you" choices, that kids can have as much as they'd like: Fruits, veggies, whole grain breads, things like that.  Yellow light foods are those you have occasionally, but not as regular foods such as grilled cheese, canned soups (salt), etc.  Red light foods are those you have very rarely, such as chips, chocolate bars, milkshakes, processed desserts (twinkies, ding-dongs), pizza...

Here's a link with more information (I hope this is okay?)

 http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6417725

[ncognito]

It's an easy way to explain the concept of healthy eating to children in a way they can understand.  Green light foods are the "Good for you" choices, that kids can have as much as they'd like: Fruits, veggies, whole grain breads, things like that.  Yellow light foods are those you have occasionally, but not as regular foods such as grilled cheese, canned soups (salt), etc.  Red light foods are those you have very rarely, such as chips, chocolate bars, milkshakes, processed desserts (twinkies, ding-dongs), pizza...

Here's a link with more information (I hope this is okay?)

 http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6417725

Thank you so much. I have had trouble finding a way to make these distinctions to son but he will really grasp this. I am really proud of him for wanting to make changes but at 6 there is still a lot that doesn't register (like his plan was for every weinee he ate he would run one lap around the house and he thought that would make it okay). I think that is why I am so upset with mom...she knows that he wants to change but she also knows that he doesn't completely get how bad his favorite foods are so of course he is going to ask for them when given free reign.

Him & I are now going to go draw red, green and yellow circles on things in the fridge/cabinets. Thank you again for the info.

ETA: This is really going to thrill him because oddly enough he LOVES fresh fruit but doesn't eat many sweets to begin with (his weakness is fried stuff and potato chips).

[minnaloushe]

Yes, the sticker idea is great, not only will it give him a visual clue for home, but he will take that forward into the future.  A friend uses that method with her son, and now at 7 1/2 he knows which are "red" and which are "green" foods before they buy them.  She's lucky, because he doesn't care a lot for sweets, but he loves his fried stuff, so it really helps!

[BittyB]

Ohhhhh, I love that!  Red light, green light, yellow light...  I don't have any children yet, but as an adult fighting with bad eating habits and learning to make healthier choices, you can sure bet I'm going to try to remember that for my kids!  Something easy that sticks...

[minnaloushe]

Ohhhhh, I love that!  Red light, green light, yellow light...  I don't have any children yet, but as an adult fighting with bad eating habits and learning to make healthier choices, you can sure bet I'm going to try to remember that for my kids!  Something easy that sticks...

Why wait? Put it into practice now, and you won't have to try to remember it, it will be your way of life, something your kids will grow up with.

[HogwartsAlum]

Ohhhhh, I love that!  Red light, green light, yellow light...  I don't have any children yet, but as an adult fighting with bad eating habits and learning to make healthier choices, you can sure bet I'm going to try to remember that for my kids!  Something easy that sticks...

Why wait? Put it into practice now, and you won't have to try to remember it, it will be your way of life, something your kids will grow up with.

That is a fabulous idea. I don't have kids either but I bet I could use that for myself.

Man, I love fried bologna....*DROOL*

[BittyB]

I was actually just thinking about that!  "Hey, I bet I can get colored stickers at the store for pretty cheap and then just spend an hour or so labelling every food item I can find in here!  Would that be really dorky for a 25 yo?  Who cares!"   

[Kiwichick]

This isn't about the host setting the menu, but your Mom undermining your decisions as a parent. Tell Mom "Since you can't respect my parenting decisions, we will not be at the dinner".

I absolutely agree, either that, or worse she's deliberately setting a six year old up for disappointment. 

[minnaloushe]

But can you imagine Grandma's face when Grandson says, "Sorry Grandma, that's a Red Light Food, I can't have any today, but thank you! May I please have some celery with peanut butter and raisins?"

[artk2002]

"Mom, I appreciate that you want to make your grandson happy, but you aren't helping him by catering to his whims.  Please, don't give him veto power over the meal."

[MadMadge43]

This is tough because she wants to spoil her grandkid and all grandparents are allowed that to some degree. But she is also completely undermining you and making your son's life harder. But I doubt she sees it this way.

I would send her the definition of an enabler and explain why this isn't a healthy choice in your son's life. And good for you for taking charge of the situation. It's going to be a tough road and this is your first major battle.