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  • May 25, 2016, 04:18:45 PM

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Author Topic: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky  (Read 63182 times)

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Katana_Geldar

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #375 on: Yesterday at 08:14:16 PM »
Wow.  That actually says more about Jill than it does Jill's father.  If she hadn't wanted to go there would have been no way under Heaven her father could have made her leave.
I think you underestimate the influence controlling abusive parents can have over a person who has been brought up to be their victim and they aren't a good son/daughter if they're not compliant. Before I cut off my family they were trying to undermine my relationship with DH. Nothing to do with religion or politics, just plain getting control back so the family can be back with how they want it.

Gladly

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #376 on: Today at 03:16:22 AM »
Reading the stories of children saying things at the most inappropriate moment reminds me of my neighbour.  Neighbour has 2 daughters, at the time aged 5 and 3.  Her husband travelled for work a lot and she had just had a hysterectomy.  Her MIL had come to stay for a couple of weeks while Neighbour recovered from her operation.  I went round to see if there was anything I could do to help, and was introduced to MIL.  Youngest daughter wandered into the room, ran over to me and gave me a big hug saying brightly "My Mummy's got no fur!"*  Cue embarrassed silence on the part of 2 adults, and confused silence on my part as I tried to work out what on earth this meant.  Luckily MIL was a lovely lady, and as realisation dawned on me, she quickly took daughters off to help her with something, while neighbour and I collapsed into giggles.

*In case others are struggling as I was see whited text:  Neighbour's pubic hair had been shaved prior to the operation
« Last Edit: Today at 03:26:57 AM by Gladly »

siamesecat2965

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #377 on: Today at 09:14:35 AM »
Wow.  That actually says more about Jill than it does Jill's father.  If she hadn't wanted to go there would have been no way under Heaven her father could have made her leave.
I think you underestimate the influence controlling abusive parents can have over a person who has been brought up to be their victim and they aren't a good son/daughter if they're not compliant. Before I cut off my family they were trying to undermine my relationship with DH. Nothing to do with religion or politics, just plain getting control back so the family can be back with how they want it.

And while it's never happened to me, I also think, if you grow up, say in a certain environment, and know nothing else, then being "sheltered" like that, you aren't aware that how you're being treated etc. is anything but the norm, and therefore may not be able to, or aware enough, to get out.

siamesecat2965

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #378 on: Today at 09:15:12 AM »
Reading the stories of children saying things at the most inappropriate moment reminds me of my neighbour.  Neighbour has 2 daughters, at the time aged 5 and 3.  Her husband travelled for work a lot and she had just had a hysterectomy.  Her MIL had come to stay for a couple of weeks while Neighbour recovered from her operation.  I went round to see if there was anything I could do to help, and was introduced to MIL.  Youngest daughter wandered into the room, ran over to me and gave me a big hug saying brightly "My Mummy's got no fur!"*  Cue embarrassed silence on the part of 2 adults, and confused silence on my part as I tried to work out what on earth this meant.  Luckily MIL was a lovely lady, and as realisation dawned on me, she quickly took daughters off to help her with something, while neighbour and I collapsed into giggles.

*In case others are struggling as I was see whited text:  Neighbour's pubic hair had been shaved prior to the operation

Oh my. That's just too funny.

heartmug

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #379 on: Today at 11:59:16 AM »
Wow.  That actually says more about Jill than it does Jill's father.  If she hadn't wanted to go there would have been no way under Heaven her father could have made her leave.

Agree!  And the father's religion thinks divorce is ok, over having a non-the-same-faith husband?
One option in a tug of war with someone is just to drop the rope.

AngelicGamer

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #380 on: Today at 12:11:42 PM »
Wow.  That actually says more about Jill than it does Jill's father.  If she hadn't wanted to go there would have been no way under Heaven her father could have made her leave.

Agree!  And the father's religion thinks divorce is ok, over having a non-the-same-faith husband?

I'd lay good money on a divorce not counting because the husband wasn't the same faith.  Logic, what logic?



Elisabunny

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #381 on: Today at 12:37:32 PM »
Wow.  That actually says more about Jill than it does Jill's father.  If she hadn't wanted to go there would have been no way under Heaven her father could have made her leave.
I think you underestimate the influence controlling abusive parents can have over a person who has been brought up to be their victim and they aren't a good son/daughter if they're not compliant. Before I cut off my family they were trying to undermine my relationship with DH. Nothing to do with religion or politics, just plain getting control back so the family can be back with how they want it.

And while it's never happened to me, I also think, if you grow up, say in a certain environment, and know nothing else, then being "sheltered" like that, you aren't aware that how you're being treated etc. is anything but the norm, and therefore may not be able to, or aware enough, to get out.

Agreed.  When my MIL was the leader of our congregation's women's group (this was a long time ago), a young wife came to her in tears.

YW: How do you stand it?
MIL: What?
YW: You older women all seem so happy, but I just hate it when my husband hits me.
MIL:  :o ??? :-* :'( >:( >:( >:(

MIL had to explain to her that no, her husband was not supposed to hit her.  This poor child had been brought up to believe that was just the way things were.


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Twik

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #382 on: Today at 02:04:26 PM »

YW: How do you stand it?
MIL: What?
YW: You older women all seem so happy, but I just hate it when my husband hits me.
MIL:  :o ??? :-* :'( >:( >:( >:(

MIL had to explain to her that no, her husband was not supposed to hit her.  This poor child had been brought up to believe that was just the way things were.

I know it's not a funny story, but may I say that's the perfect collection of emoticons. (Let's not call them smileys for this situation.)
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Sirius

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #383 on: Today at 02:54:42 PM »
Wow.  That actually says more about Jill than it does Jill's father.  If she hadn't wanted to go there would have been no way under Heaven her father could have made her leave.
I think you underestimate the influence controlling abusive parents can have over a person who has been brought up to be their victim and they aren't a good son/daughter if they're not compliant. Before I cut off my family they were trying to undermine my relationship with DH. Nothing to do with religion or politics, just plain getting control back so the family can be back with how they want it.

And while it's never happened to me, I also think, if you grow up, say in a certain environment, and know nothing else, then being "sheltered" like that, you aren't aware that how you're being treated etc. is anything but the norm, and therefore may not be able to, or aware enough, to get out.

I agree with that.  Maybe I just can't understand someone who would be so pliant they wouldn't question their parent's orders, even if it meant that their marriage was over.  However, be sure that what happened will come back to haunt them one way or the other.


Virg

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #384 on: Today at 03:30:22 PM »
Wow.  That actually says more about Jill than it does Jill's father.  If she hadn't wanted to go there would have been no way under Heaven her father could have made her leave.
I think you underestimate the influence controlling abusive parents can have over a person who has been brought up to be their victim and they aren't a good son/daughter if they're not compliant. Before I cut off my family they were trying to undermine my relationship with DH. Nothing to do with religion or politics, just plain getting control back so the family can be back with how they want it.

And while it's never happened to me, I also think, if you grow up, say in a certain environment, and know nothing else, then being "sheltered" like that, you aren't aware that how you're being treated etc. is anything but the norm, and therefore may not be able to, or aware enough, to get out.

I agree with that.  Maybe I just can't understand someone who would be so pliant they wouldn't question their parent's orders, even if it meant that their marriage was over.  However, be sure that what happened will come back to haunt them one way or the other.

I still have to agree with Sirius's original statement.  Two points to note are that Jill wasn't raised in the religion that labeled her subservient (the father converted after their marriage) and she'd been married to Jack for years before all this began, so it's not like she was "newly escaped" or had always been under her father's thrall.  Given those things, she's got a lot more responsibility for what happened than someone who never saw the outside of a dysfunctional family dynamic.

Virg

nutraxfornerves

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #385 on: Today at 03:34:00 PM »
I left out a lot of the context of the Jack & Jill story. Jack admitted that they had probably married too young--both came from families with a tradition of early marriage, so they were encouraged to wed at a young age.

Jill was still emotionally dependent on her parents her parents in many ways, and Jack (in his words) was too [gosh darned] immature to know how to work at being a married couple. Jill's family was pretty traditional with Father definitely the Head of the House, but he did not become a serious bully until after his faith change. Father knew how to push Jill's buttons and she allowed them to be pushed.

Nutrax
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kherbert05

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Re: In-Law Stories - The good, the bad and the wacky
« Reply #386 on: Today at 04:17:23 PM »
Wow.  That actually says more about Jill than it does Jill's father.  If she hadn't wanted to go there would have been no way under Heaven her father could have made her leave.

Agree!  And the father's religion thinks divorce is ok, over having a non-the-same-faith husband?

I'd lay good money on a divorce not counting because the husband wasn't the same faith.  Logic, what logic?
One of my cousins couldn't get married in the church because even though her future spouse was divorced with no children, his ex-wife refused to get an annulment.


Another cousin was married in the church even though his future spouse was divorced  - that marriage had not happened in the Catholic Church so it didn't count.
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