Worst pick-up lines

[Kaymyth]

"Are your legs tired? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all day."


Granted, this was a fortune cookie. Smarmiest fortune cookie ever.

[Liliane]

I never had this used on me, thankfully - so it's probably much funnier that way!

"Hi, I'm foreign. I have Russian hands and Roman fingers."

[Twik]

I presume all these are used by men who have taken vows of chastity and wish to ensure they are not faced with temptation?

[PeterM]

A friend of mine claims to have tried

"The word of the day is legs. Let's go to my place and spread the word."

I'm pretty sure he was lying, though, because he's neither brave nor offensive enough to actually say it except as a joke.

Another one, that I do believe he used while in college was

"So do you take the bus to campus or do you bring your lunch?"

It was apparently good for getting tipsy coeds to actually stop and pay attention to you, and that's half the battle. He and his friends had a bunch like that, but I can't remember any others.

[Pen^2]

I've never had one used on me seriously. DH sometimes tries to make ones up and they end up sounding hilariously stupid and dorky. I don't think these count, sadly.

I've heard many stories, though. I hate the whole, "girls love confident guys of a single subtype," as though all girls want the exact same set of qualities. Although far worse is the sheer volume of idiots who interpret "confident" as "arrogant." The breakfast in bed example posted above is a great example of such an dummkopf.

The worst I've heard of that has actually been used, though, is a very blatant example of negging: "Wow, for a fat chick, you don't sweat much."

Apparently it's legal to shoot someone if they say this at you. 

[starry diadem]

There was an exchange that happened as part of the opening redits of a long defunct UK TV show called the Liver Birds - set in Liverpool (home of the Beatles) and supposedly demonstrating how laid back and hip all Liverpudlians are.

Him:  Are yer dancin'?

Her:  Are yer askin'?

Him:  I'm askin'.

Her:  I'm dancin'.


At least he got his girl!

[Slartibartfast]

(all too common at science fiction conventions):

"Hey is that [insert geeky pop culture reference] on your shirt?  I love [geeky pop culture reference].  I started collecting [related geeky interest] when I was real little, but then I got into [whatever reference I was wearing] and now I have ALL the [books/DVDs/action figures].  I had a hard time finding the rare one that's out of print, the one that was only released in Japan, but I found it.  On eBay.  EBay is really good for [books/DVDs/action figures], but you have to know what you're doing.  See, [mansplaining the fandom I'm already wearing a shirt for] . . ."

There are plenty of geeky girls who do this too, of course, so it's not always a "pick-up line" thing, but I seem to get this at least once per convention.  A lot more if I've got my booth and I'm selling jewelry - I sell a lot of geeky-themed stuff, so everything seems to prompt occasional people to stand there and yack at me.  I don't usually mind - it's nice to have someone to talk to! - but I hate when it's a clueless guy who a) seems to believe his knowledge of anime trivia will help him get in my pants, and b) doesn't understand it's not working.