RE: Non-locked computers
While working for an unnamed government dept, we had to lock the comps whenever we left them, but they also had a program that would auto-lock if no keystrokes were made in two minutes. All well and good, and it was designed to stop others playing with your machine.
It would keep letting the email alerts bing, a most annoying sound when a certain person would deliberately turn her speakers up while she puddled around the office, putting folders away in the walk-in cabinets, getting her tea, chatting on the phone . . . going for her 10 minute smoke breaks . . . .
This annoyed most of the office, but she was deaf to all complaints. "I neeeeeeed to know when I get mail! It might be important!" Well, yes, it might. But you aren't there, you daft bat! I still maintain that she just wanted us to hear the noise so we would think she was a very important, hard-working poobah.
A plan was hatched. A song was (ahem) acquired (no names, no pack drill), and the right moment was waited for. Before that, she was given many warnings and told many time to 'turn the dingdangity speakers off' but she refused. So, one morning, after she had left for a smoke break, and told us that's what she was doing, an office peon with computer knowledge jumped on, plugged a USB stick in, does some quick voodoo, jumps off and turns the speakers off.
15 minutes later she wanders back, telling us how she'd bumped into a friend in another dept and got chatting, sits down, tsks about the speakers being off, turns them on and up -- and flies back and shrieks as an email comes in and the Lamb Chop theme blares out.
I happen to like "this is the song that doesn't end", but it is in the top 10 of most annoying songs of all time. Especially when played for 2 minutes.
This lady obviously wasn't a fan, and freaked, demanding to know what had been done and how could we do it and how could it be changed back. After we stopped laughing, it was pointed out that turning off he speakers would solve the problem, but if she insisted it could be rearranged back. But also that if she left the speakers on anything above whisper, there was a good chance it would happen again.
She sulked, but as the office was against her, could do nothing but agree. Didn't learn for another few days though. I believe Metallica and Def Leopard were involved the next day. Then someone supplied 'Sheik of Scrubby Creek' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWfFFMcfEt4
Warning: this song has to be heard to be believed. Australians do country a little differently to the rest of you).
Within 1 minute of good old Chad, she'd asked for the speakers to be disconnected and taken away. I left shortly after for another office, but I made sure the USB stick was passed on, in case she recovered from Chad too quickly.