GimmePigs: Grape Kool-Aide On Superbowl Sunday !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Asharah]

I attended a baptist wedding once that was held on Superbowl Sunday! So already, theres a bunch of annoyed guests whose spouses have dragged them there against their will. Didn't bother me as I'm not into football, but my other half had to be dragged there against his will. We get there, to find it's a dry wedding, with wine glasses full of grape kool-aide. Ok, whatever. The music is played at an uncomfortably loud level on a really bad PA system, and its all really obnoxious baptist Christian music. Ok, whatever. Asharah's comment: None of this is a faux-pas, but the husbands who's wives dragged them there will have alot more ammo to use against them than if the reception had open bar and sitdown dinner.

Now I'M starting to get annoyed. We're thinking about leaving, when the music stops, and the mother of the bride steps up to the mike. She has the collection plates from the church in hand, and announces that they're going to pass the plate for donations to help pay for the reception! JEEEZ, we'd already given the happy couple a shower gift, and a large check as wedding gift--and how much could it possibly have cost for kool-aid and inedible homemade mystery-meatballs in the church basement?!!!

It gets worse...the music starts again. After the plate is passed, the music stops abruptly in mid song, and the angry mother of the bride speaks again. It seems she's counted the money and is appalled that there is not more there, admonishes the guests for being so cheap, and passes it again!!! Asharah's comment: I hope the plate got looted and they got nothing! At that point, I rounded up my other half (who had snuck out to the parking lot to watch the game on a portable TV one of the guys had in his car) and we promptly left.  Asharha's comment: Did they get home for the half-time show?  gimme1002-00

[TylerBelle]

Now the second half of the story, I can most certainly see faux-pas with the MOB announcing of a.) passing the plate to garner donations from guests to subsidize the reception is extreme in tackiness, only to be taken a step further with b.) chastising guests into giving even more. That just reeks in ickyness.

Although that behavior was really bad, I find it hard sympathizing with the LW. She seemed to not have such as casual attitude about the event as one would believe with her "Ok. Whatever." Why even attempt to go to a 'Baptist' wedding if all you'd do would be whining about how things were done, such as the music played, the refreshments served and how horrible for her husband and other football fans to be dragged away from the super bowl? Boo-hoo it was "dry" wedding, go to a bar or a liquor store if you can't function without alcohol. Why didn't they simply stay home?


Edited to fix a contraction.

[Miss Charlotte]

I find the OP's attitude about the music and offerings distasteful, and I am appalled that the GM passed around the church's collection plate for the HC. Gah!!

[HonorH]

Yeah, I'm with you guys--if she'd just stuck with the tackiness of passing the collection plate, I'd have been with her all the way.  That's astoundingly bad manners.  If you can't afford to give a reception, have a quiet family wedding and send out announcements afterward.  It's rude to invite people and then charge them.  What did the bride say?  "We invited you all to have the privilege of watching us get married, so you owe us this reception!"

The LW's attitude about the "Baptist" wedding, though, makes her lose points in my eyes.  Having a wedding on Super Bowl Sunday is bad timing, yeah, but not rude.  The snootiness over the lack of alcohol and the music on the guest's part is definitely tacky.

[Two Ravens]

Yeah, I'm with you guys--if she'd just stuck with the tackiness of passing the collection plate, I'd have been with her all the way.  That's astoundingly bad manners.  If you can't afford to give a reception, have a quiet family wedding and send out announcements afterward.  It's rude to invite people and then charge them.  What did the bride say?  "We invited you all to have the privilege of watching us get married, so you owe us this reception!"

The LW's attitude about the "Baptist" wedding, though, makes her lose points in my eyes.  Having a wedding on Super Bowl Sunday is bad timing, yeah, but not rude.  The snootiness over the lack of alcohol and the music on the guest's part is definitely tacky.

I don't think she was being snooty about no alcohol.  I think that she was upset that the only beverage available was grape kool-aid. Insufficient food and drink are valid complaints for any wedding...

[Squeaks]

I think the first paragraph was more trying to set the stage and add some humor.  Stating that someone does not like a type of music, is not inherently rude in my book, it is a personal preference and being too loud over a bad PA system just makes it a bit more uncomfortable and a funny story.

I will admit to me a person does come off much more greedy when they ask for money to cover a low cost reception than an high end one.  I see nothing wrong with a frugal reception, but when  your not willing to pay for *anything* for your guests, it leaves a worse taste in my mouth somehow than if they just indulged and spent too much.  At least with the later, it can sorta look like they want their guests to be happy.  The former just makes them look very gimmi to me.

[mechtilde]

What's so wrong with having a wedding which clashes with a sporting event? Seriously?

Dry wedding? No problem. At least they are serving refreshements, and if the OP finds "Baptist Christian music" so apparantly distasteful then maybe she should have declined to attend.

The only two problems I can see here are the people who sneaked out to watch tv at a wedding reception (surely two people making a lifelong commitment is more important than a football match? If it is so i mportant to you then video the thing) and passing round the plate at the reception and haranguing the guests. Both of which are extremely rude.

[Hawkwatcher]

I think the first paragraph was more trying to set the stage and add some humor.  Stating that someone does not like a type of music, is not inherently rude in my book, it is a personal preference and being too loud over a bad PA system just makes it a bit more uncomfortable and a funny story.

I will admit to me a person does come off much more greedy when they ask for money to cover a low cost reception than an high end one.  I see nothing wrong with a frugal reception, but when  your not willing to pay for *anything* for your guests, it leaves a worse taste in my mouth somehow than if they just indulged and spent too much.  At least with the later, it can sorta look like they want their guests to be happy.  The former just makes them look very gimmi to me.

If the reception was a high end one, it is possible that the bride and groom planned on paying for it themselves but underestimated what everything would cost.  As a result, they got in themselves into financial trouble.  They still should not expect their guests to bail them out but this is more understandable than having a cheap reception and passing around a plate for guests to pay. 

The LW probably felt resentful at this point because she had already been generous with the gifts she gave the HC.

[Squeaks]

I think the first paragraph was more trying to set the stage and add some humor.  Stating that someone does not like a type of music, is not inherently rude in my book, it is a personal preference and being too loud over a bad PA system just makes it a bit more uncomfortable and a funny story.

I will admit to me a person does come off much more greedy when they ask for money to cover a low cost reception than an high end one.  I see nothing wrong with a frugal reception, but when  your not willing to pay for *anything* for your guests, it leaves a worse taste in my mouth somehow than if they just indulged and spent too much.  At least with the later, it can sorta look like they want their guests to be happy.  The former just makes them look very gimmi to me.

If the reception was a high end one, it is possible that the bride and groom planned on paying for it themselves but underestimated what everything would cost.  As a result, they got in themselves into financial trouble.  They still should not expect their guests to bail them out but this is more understandable than having a cheap reception and passing around a plate for guests to pay. 

The LW probably felt resentful at this point because she had already been generous with the gifts she gave the HC.

no they should not expect the guest to bail them out.  I just can't help but feel a little less annoyed if the request for money comes with a good meal.  I guess i almost write it off as cluelessness on the part of the OP maybe thinking their guest would rather pay for a good meal than get free simple snacks.  Yes still wrong, and still their problem, but somehow the asking for money. .  . and then complaining about the amount for grape kool-aid, just rubs me wrong even more.  It just to me smells of seeing the guests as no more than a present and not worth a dime.  Almost as if they want the guests to be uncomfortable and leave early. . . . maybe to keep costs down. 

 

[Asharah]

I wonder what letter writers connection with the couple was. She didn't seem to enthused, so I wonder if this was more of an obligation attendance, the couple came to their wedding so they had to reciprocate, or they were distant relatives and her Mom would nag her to death if she didn't attend. So she really felt like she "had" to drag hubby there on Superbowl Sunday, and then when she saw the reception had no alcohol and lousy food, she figured she was gonna get more complaints from hubby, like "You made me miss the Superbowl for THIS!" So the "pass the plate" followed by the harangue was really the icing on the cake!

[RegionMom]

Havig been to many a Baptist wedding myself, I doubt it was Kool-Aid brand Kool-aid.  It was most likely sparkling cider. 
Also, I have never seen a collection plate being passed around. 

I HAVE heard of weddings on Easter Sunday.  That upsets some people. 

Watching TV during a one-time special event is rude. 

...Goes off to mark Sparkling Juice on her groceery list...yum....

[twinkletoes]

I wonder what letter writers connection with the couple was. She didn't seem to enthused, so I wonder if this was more of an obligation attendance, the couple came to their wedding so they had to reciprocate, or they were distant relatives and her Mom would nag her to death if she didn't attend. So she really felt like she "had" to drag hubby there on Superbowl Sunday, and then when she saw the reception had no alcohol and lousy food, she figured she was gonna get more complaints from hubby, like "You made me miss the Superbowl for THIS!" So the "pass the plate" followed by the harangue was really the icing on the cake!

That's what I was thinking, too.  You know the LW heard about it the whoooole way home. 

I was actually surprised the wedding was on a Sunday.  I didn't those were really done, same as weddings during Lent (and ESPECIALLY not over Easter weekend).

[M-theory]

Yech, grape Kool-Aid. I thought my DF was the only person on Earth who considers that stuff potable.

[Luna_Moon]

I have no problems with an event being dry, but if someone attempted to serve me grape kool-aid... yeah, I'd be upset. I'd much rather have a nice cold glass of plain water than that!

[iridaceae]

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The only two problems I can see here are the people who sneaked out to watch tv at a wedding reception (surely two people making a lifelong commitment is more important than a football match? If it is so i mportant to you then video the thing) and passing round the plate at the reception and haranguing the guests. Both of which are extremely rude.

The Super Bowl is huge here in the US- they have special commercials during the game and a big name star or group doing the half-time show. Lots of people who don't even like football will have Super Bowl parties.

It's kind of like our World Cup championship game- people want to watch it and if your party isn't going to have a TV going showing it, you're likely to have a lot of people declining the party.