Etiquette School is in session! > Complete Silence

When it doesn't work....

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cms1978:
Hey all!
I've been following this topic with great interest.  This is my preferred way to deal with rudeness, as I tend to say not ehell approved things if I try to talk.   ;)  Normally it works just fine, but my husband's oldest brother seems totally oblivious to my non-reaction.  Either I stare blankly and he repeats the offending remark in a louder voice, or I try to walk away and he follows me!  He will even go as far as blocking a doorway so I can't leave!  What are some tactics I can employ against this jerk in addition to silence, or ways I can make silence more effective?

Bethalize:

--- Quote from: cms1978 on May 04, 2009, 08:44:05 AM ---Hey all!
I've been following this topic with great interest.  This is my preferred way to deal with rudeness, as I tend to say not ehell approved things if I try to talk.   ;)  Normally it works just fine, but my husband's oldest brother seems totally oblivious to my non-reaction.  Either I stare blankly and he repeats the offending remark in a louder voice, or I try to walk away and he follows me!  He will even go as far as blocking a doorway so I can't leave!  What are some tactics I can employ against this jerk in addition to silence, or ways I can make silence more effective?

--- End quote ---

That doesn't seem the behaviour of someone who is oblivious to me. It sounds like bullying behaviour. Not allowing someone to leave is a really big deal. Do you say Please move, you're in my way?" I will not participate in any conversation I am trapped in.

As regards to conversation what happens when you continue to be silent? Is he waiting for some sort of reaction? I had one particular boor that I had to deal with by saying something that appeared positive on the surface. "Gosh! Fancy that."

Sophia:
Is it something ridiculous that you could laugh at?  Obviously, if the problem was a racist joke laughter would be a bad idea.  But, with an outrageous request, laughter works really well. 

Another idea would be to call a spade a spade.  When he tries to prevent you from leaving the room, you can put scorn in your voice and say, "Excuse Me, Are you actually trying to prevent me from leaving the room?" 

Frostblooded:
Wow, that is ridiculous behavior and would have me feeling caged and mad! What does your husband say to this? How does he react?

Luci45:
I thought that my brothers-in-law were unique! I run into the bathroom sometimes and once one of them even tried to follow me in there! Usually, by the time I get out, the offender has been distracted.

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