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  • July 24, 2017, 05:44:26 AM

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Author Topic: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart  (Read 1523589 times)

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Chipmunky

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7140 on: July 07, 2017, 07:23:32 AM »
Combo Gross out and "I'm Going to H*ll, aka, Evil Chipmunky came out to play"

Background:

My father had surgery for colon cancer a year and a half ago, resulting in a permanent colostomy. He was sent a certain type of adhesive wafer that helps keep the bag in place and prevents poop from getting on his skin and irritating it.  This wafer did not do the job right, due to the way his stoma ended up healing, and would leak, so he was switched to a different wafer shape and size.  Being himself with hoarding tendencies, he did not return the other wafers for a refund or donate them to a free clinic; he instead uses them when my mother is out of town, with messy results.

Several weeks ago, we travelled to their town to visit. DH also bought my father a new computer (was reimbursed for it) and set it up for him. Dad is tech averse, but trusts DH to recommend newer products and get him set up with the best system for his needs. The last computer was 10 years old and dying.

End Background

My mom is down to help out with Chipmunchkin through the weekend as she gets antibiotic shots for the ear infections. She's here to be an extra set of hands, which is great as I've now developed a sore throat, courtesy of my daughter's "sharing is caring" philosophy on life, and could use the extra help.

Mom received a call from my father after her arrival yesterday evening. It seems he used one of the wafers that doesn't work for him, was sitting in the computer room, and the bag suddenly filled up and essentially exploded off him, creating a mess on him, his bathrobe, and the floor under the computer desk. He threw the robe in the washing machine at mom's instruction after rinsing it off in the sink, and was cleaning up the floor after getting himself cleaned up and a fresh bag on.

So why do I have a special spot reserved for me in the super warm basement?

When DH got home, during dinner, he asked my mom if "[father's name] still liked his new computer."  Before my mom could say anything, I piped up "oh yes, he's so excited over it he pooped himself."  My mom just about fell out of her chair laughing, while DH was confused until we told him what happened.

I know it's wrong to poke fun of my father's accident, but really, he knows better than to use those wafers. They don't work and they make a huge mess, what did he think would happen?!?!

ladyknight1

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7141 on: July 07, 2017, 07:28:36 AM »
Oh, wow! I think I would be burning in that place too.

My gross out is that both of my parents have tricky digestive issues. They eat a reasonable diet at home. When they go on vacation to visit my family, they suddenly change their diet to sweets and juice for breakfast, fried fish and shrimp for other meals.

The results are not pleasant for them, or those around them. And because they insist on eating this way, they must be in proximity to a restroom. It makes it difficult to do anything more than hang out by the hotel, or at the pool. Sigh.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

jpcher

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7142 on: July 07, 2017, 12:23:20 PM »
Chipmunky -- I hope you're compiling these stories into a book . . . would be a great book of anecdotes for parents that are going through the same things as you are experiencing. Especially since you put a warm, humorous spin on your tales. You are a warm, loving parent and it shows that you have the strength to withstand anything that comes your way. HUGS! and KUDOS to you!

My CW, Sally, has a 1yr old who has had I don't know how many ear infections, pink eye, colds, flu, etc. and, of course, it's not unusual for her and her husband to come down with the same symptoms.

She doubts herself "What am I doing wrong? Am I a bad parent?" I've been tempted to send her a link to your stories but I don't want to out myself here (I post about her) :-[ but I think she would benefit from your stories, again, especially because of the way you write them. Laughter, sometimes, is the best medicine.


You could title your book "You Are Not Alone" subtitled "Gross Tales of Parenthood."



P.S. I'm glad you're looking into ear tubes. DD#1 was 3-1/2 when she had her first ear screening (day care, standard offering) and I found out that she was 78% deaf! I had no clue! I thought she was a cool kid because she always asked me to turn the music up louder. I thought she was an insolent kid, at times, because she didn't listen to me when I called her from another room or talked to her when her face was turned away from me. It wasn't until after the diagnosis that I realized she was lip reading!

She had her share of ear infections but nothing that I nor her doctor thought were excessive (the doctor didn't comment on them anyway :-\). After the tubes? Hearing is 100% perfect.


Oh, but . . . she did start asking me to please turn the music down. :'(


Dazi

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7143 on: July 07, 2017, 12:39:27 PM »
Chipmunky -- I hope you're compiling these stories into a book . . . would be a great book of anecdotes for parents that are going through the same things as you are experiencing. Especially since you put a warm, humorous spin on your tales. You are a warm, loving parent and it shows that you have the strength to withstand anything that comes your way. HUGS! and KUDOS to you!

My CW, Sally, has a 1yr old who has had I don't know how many ear infections, pink eye, colds, flu, etc. and, of course, it's not unusual for her and her husband to come down with the same symptoms.

She doubts herself "What am I doing wrong? Am I a bad parent?" I've been tempted to send her a link to your stories but I don't want to out myself here (I post about her) :-[ but I think she would benefit from your stories, again, especially because of the way you write them. Laughter, sometimes, is the best medicine.


You could title your book "You Are Not Alone" subtitled "Gross Tales of Parenthood."



P.S. I'm glad you're looking into ear tubes. DD#1 was 3-1/2 when she had her first ear screening (day care, standard offering) and I found out that she was 78% deaf! I had no clue! I thought she was a cool kid because she always asked me to turn the music up louder. I thought she was an insolent kid, at times, because she didn't listen to me when I called her from another room or talked to her when her face was turned away from me. It wasn't until after the diagnosis that I realized she was lip reading!

She had her share of ear infections but nothing that I nor her doctor thought were excessive (the doctor didn't comment on them anyway :-\). After the tubes? Hearing is 100% perfect.


Oh, but . . . she did start asking me to please turn the music down. :'(

Babies are supposed to get sick. The whole point is to build a strong immune system when you are young.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Ser Lucien Liliane

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7144 on: July 07, 2017, 12:41:24 PM »
I squeezed open a zit-slash-ingrown hair in the crook of my elbow last night.

I'm used to getting slightly hard, perfectly round balls of white gook out of the zits on my face. Not so much my arm...
"This is the kind of nonsense up with which I will not put."


Chez Miriam

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7145 on: July 09, 2017, 05:47:35 AM »
Stop it [no, don't >:D], Chipmunky!

I would say: "That'll learn him", but I'm fairly sure my memory of your father (from previous posts) indicates otherwise. ::)

I squeezed open a zit-slash-ingrown hair in the crook of my elbow last night.

I'm used to getting slightly hard, perfectly round balls of white gook out of the zits on my face. Not so much my arm...

I once got one out of my eyelid, once*; I'm fairly sure there's another one there, but like I say: "once".

*I don't think I can say "once" too many times... :-[  And I've found that if I can 'pop' a cold sore before it takes hold, it makes the whole process [other than the squishing] much less painful, and quicker to resolve (so I'm clearly not averse to doing stupid things that make me feel better in the long term).

Edited to add a 't' to 'not'.
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

Chipmunky

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7146 on: July 10, 2017, 07:45:40 AM »
I'm happy to report Chipmunchkin's ears seem to be much improved! She was furious that I took her for shots three days in a row (mean, mean mommy here), but she's lost the puffy look around her eyes, and she's not fussing in pain. Still dealing with a runny nose, but it's clear runny now, rather than the lovely shade of green she had before (and which I have the joy of now).

However, my kiddo can't do anything by half (considering my tendency to have 6 activities at once, I should be less surprised). As we're getting over the ear infections, she's started sticking out her tongue a lot and has become the Niagara falls of drool.  Checking in the mouth, yep, we've got one tooth on the bottom visibly coming up, and can feel teeth under the gum on top. No breaks with this one.

Her BFF's daddy works for and audiologist and has the otoscope to check ears with- he will swing by this week on his way home from work to do a quick check for redness or anything else in her ears, fingers crossed they do not come back before her ENT consult at the end of the month.

RubyCat

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7147 on: July 12, 2017, 03:06:57 PM »
Stop it [no, don't >:D], Chipmunky!

I would say: "That'll learn him", but I'm fairly sure my memory of your father (from previous posts) indicates otherwise

I suppose we can hope that he will soon run out of the poorly fitting wafers.

My own gross story - I stepped into the break room to find the secretary sitting at the table eating her lunch and picking her nose.  There were a couple of other people eating at the table reading their on phones so they may have not noticed.  I still question that I actually saw it but she was really going to it. 

Later that afternoon, she offered some of us some grapes that she had in a sandwich bag.  I politely declined.

Chez Miriam

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7148 on: July 13, 2017, 04:37:43 AM »
Stop it [no, don't >:D], Chipmunky!

I would say: "That'll learn him", but I'm fairly sure my memory of your father (from previous posts) indicates otherwise

I suppose we can hope that he will soon run out of the poorly fitting wafers.

My own gross story - I stepped into the break room to find the secretary sitting at the table eating her lunch and picking her nose.  There were a couple of other people eating at the table reading their on phones so they may have not noticed.  I still question that I actually saw it but she was really going to it. 

Later that afternoon, she offered some of us some grapes that she had in a sandwich bag.  I politely declined.

No that is gross! >:D
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

Chez Miriam

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Re: Gross out-- Not for the faint of heart
« Reply #7149 on: July 21, 2017, 06:34:40 AM »
I was reminded of RubyCat's post when I came across this Eating bogies is good for teeth...

"Looking forward" to that toothpaste! >:D
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich