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blank space

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« on: April 25, 2007, 01:41:30 AM »
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« Last Edit: September 11, 2013, 01:59:52 AM by blank space »

Stormtreader

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2007, 03:42:38 AM »
Me being a VERY inexperienced driver, I asked my instructor what I should do.  He said that I was already turning, so I had to keep doing so because I was already half turned by that point. 

.......

Two years later, I had my instructor as my History teacher, and barely a day went by when he didn't say something like "Hey Ashley, my back is kind of hurting today." and stuff like that. RoadRage0818-04

What the heck? He TOLD her to keep going, and then guilttripped her afterwards? How exactly was that accident more her fault than his?

Mascara

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2007, 05:33:13 AM »
I agree.  A mistake the student makes are the mistake of the teacher.

A driving instructor should always be mentally driving the car, and reacting accordingly.

Asharah

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2007, 12:24:38 PM »
WHERE THE HECK ARE THE PARENTS? Not just OPs parents, but the other kids in the car. An obviously drunk driver slams into a car with several minors, and is dingdangity lucky he didn't kill or seriously injure somebody, is let go by the "good old boy" cops and the parents of the kids in the car do nothing? If my sisters kids had been in that car, she would have been screaming bloody murder to every authority figure in the state about how the b@st@rd almost murdered her kids and the idiot cops should be fired for letting him go. I don't care how "good old boy" the state is, those cops have somebody above them they have to answer to.
Asharah

CutebutPsycho

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2007, 12:31:59 PM »
I hope the OP realizes that this story is probably now one of her former classmates' FAVORITE stories to tell about high school, whether they were a part of it or not. I am not saying it's not a horrible example of how to treat a person, and I am not saying it wasn't traumatic for her. She seems very concerned about how it would affect her popularity, or lack of it - but I can only imagine she is a legend to most, and I hope she knows that and doesn't feel too bad about it from the humanity standpoint.  :-\

(not sure if this makes any sense but I don't know how else to word it to get my point across.)

That said, the drunken driver was a cruel, mean, lousy idiot who deserves to be in jail!
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Twik

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2007, 02:19:19 PM »
Me being a VERY inexperienced driver, I asked my instructor what I should do.  He said that I was already turning, so I had to keep doing so because I was already half turned by that point. 

.......

Two years later, I had my instructor as my History teacher, and barely a day went by when he didn't say something like "Hey Ashley, my back is kind of hurting today." and stuff like that. RoadRage0818-04

What the heck? He TOLD her to keep going, and then guilttripped her afterwards? How exactly was that accident more her fault than his?

She should be the one doing the "back hurting" bit, and asking him to check out the school insurance. She was under his supervision, and following his instructions.

And yes, it must be one powerful "good ole boys" system if NO ONE, not the school nor the parents, nor even the insurance company involved on the school's behalf, protested this.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

twinkletoes

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2007, 02:38:47 PM »
You know, I've read numerous stories on this website, where the writer just "let" things happen.  And while I'm the first to acknowledge that sometimes, rudeness happens and you're just too stunned to react as you should, I think this story takes the cake.  The writer has no backbone whatsoever.  It doesn't sound as though she even tried to fight it - she all but throws her hands up in the air and says "it's beyond me."

At first, I was enraged when I read this story.  And now?  I'm not feeling too sorry for the writer.  If she had at least tried to stand up for herself, I'd feel sympathy.  I'm sorry, but I don't.  This is beyond a situation where, say, one's friend invites another friend to your party. Or your neighbor plays loud music all night.  This is a moral and ethical problem, and the writer's inaction makes me sick.

Asharah

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2007, 06:15:27 PM »
I think she did try to at least speak up and tell the police about the beer, but they ignored her. And I still think that since she was still in high school her parents had some obligation to take action on her behalf. Did they try to contest the ticket? Complain about the cop's behavior? By not arresting the guy who was obviously DWI and had already caused one accident, they were effectively endangering every person on the road he might encounter after that. What if he got into another accident that night and this time the people in the other car weren't so lucky?
Asharah

aka

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2007, 11:13:34 PM »
At first, I was enraged when I read this story.  And now?  I'm not feeling too sorry for the writer.  If she had at least tried to stand up for herself, I'd feel sympathy.  I'm sorry, but I don't.  This is beyond a situation where, say, one's friend invites another friend to your party. Or your neighbor plays loud music all night.  This is a moral and ethical problem, and the writer's inaction makes me sick.

Well, I would suggest having some compassion for a fifteen-year-old who was still learning to drive and who had just gone through a traumatic experience.  Who exactly was she supposed to 'stand up to'...the police who ignored her...the school staff who mocked her along with her classmates"?  And what exactly did she 'let' happen?

Twik

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2007, 06:45:57 AM »
Yes, I'd let a rattled 15 year old off the hook. I would NOT be so easy on the driver's ed instructor, the school and the parents - THEY should have been raising the roof.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Gyro Widget

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2007, 07:08:37 AM »
You know, I've read numerous stories on this website, where the writer just "let" things happen.  And while I'm the first to acknowledge that sometimes, rudeness happens and you're just too stunned to react as you should, I think this story takes the cake.  The writer has no backbone whatsoever.  It doesn't sound as though she even tried to fight it - she all but throws her hands up in the air and says "it's beyond me."

At first, I was enraged when I read this story.  And now?  I'm not feeling too sorry for the writer.  If she had at least tried to stand up for herself, I'd feel sympathy.  I'm sorry, but I don't.  This is beyond a situation where, say, one's friend invites another friend to your party. Or your neighbor plays loud music all night.  This is a moral and ethical problem, and the writer's inaction makes me sick.

I agree.  I know that the girl is only young, but if she was so outraged at the man drinking and driving, she could have said to the corrupt officer "If you do not give this man a Breathalyzer, it WILL turn up in court how you turned a blind eye."  All he had to do was SMELL the beer that had splashed on the windshield!!!  If she did not get any satisfaction with that, she could have called 911 for additional police.  I don't care if its a serious accusation, but I'd be telling the 911 operator that I am witnessing a policeman and accident witnesses tampering with evidence and filing a bogus report! 

Maybe I can say this because I was the brazen little 15 year old girl who would lobby my local government whenever I felt injustice was done (lol, shaming my mother quite a bit as it was a small town).  I did not care if I was the annoying Lisa Simpson of my hometown, at least I could sleep at night knowing I did what was in my means to make the world a better place. 

« Last Edit: April 26, 2007, 07:15:32 AM by annette »

twinkletoes

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2007, 08:21:08 AM »
At first, I was enraged when I read this story.  And now?  I'm not feeling too sorry for the writer.  If she had at least tried to stand up for herself, I'd feel sympathy.  I'm sorry, but I don't.  This is beyond a situation where, say, one's friend invites another friend to your party. Or your neighbor plays loud music all night.  This is a moral and ethical problem, and the writer's inaction makes me sick.

Well, I would suggest having some compassion for a fifteen-year-old who was still learning to drive and who had just gone through a traumatic experience.  Who exactly was she supposed to 'stand up to'...the police who ignored her...the school staff who mocked her along with her classmates"?  And what exactly did she 'let' happen?

It sounds as though she didn't even mention it to her parents. I understand being a powerless teen - I don't understand not discussing it with the parents.

smarterthanu213

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2007, 09:11:08 AM »
You know, I've read numerous stories on this website, where the writer just "let" things happen.  And while I'm the first to acknowledge that sometimes, rudeness happens and you're just too stunned to react as you should, I think this story takes the cake.  The writer has no backbone whatsoever.  It doesn't sound as though she even tried to fight it - she all but throws her hands up in the air and says "it's beyond me."

At first, I was enraged when I read this story.  And now?  I'm not feeling too sorry for the writer.  If she had at least tried to stand up for herself, I'd feel sympathy.  I'm sorry, but I don't.  This is beyond a situation where, say, one's friend invites another friend to your party. Or your neighbor plays loud music all night.  This is a moral and ethical problem, and the writer's inaction makes me sick.

I agree.  I know that the girl is only young, but if she was so outraged at the man drinking and driving, she could have said to the corrupt officer "If you do not give this man a Breathalyzer, it WILL turn up in court how you turned a blind eye."  All he had to do was SMELL the beer that had splashed on the windshield!!!  If she did not get any satisfaction with that, she could have called 911 for additional police.  I don't care if its a serious accusation, but I'd be telling the 911 operator that I am witnessing a policeman and accident witnesses tampering with evidence and filing a bogus report! 

Maybe I can say this because I was the brazen little 15 year old girl who would lobby my local government whenever I felt injustice was done (lol, shaming my mother quite a bit as it was a small town).  I did not care if I was the annoying Lisa Simpson of my hometown, at least I could sleep at night knowing I did what was in my means to make the world a better place. 



I dunno, though, I was a very shy 15yo. I would have burst into tears and said "Yes, sir, officer," and then go home and beg my parents to do something.

Because the parents DID have a responsibility to do something.

But I am your classic chicken. I used to panic if forced to stand up for myself. I don't think it's right to flame the girl for not standing up for herself. I agree-- she SHOULD have. But some people just cannot.

Pixie

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2007, 11:20:32 AM »
When I was a senior in high school we had an accident happen with our driver's Ed car.  The instructor and 3 students were in the car and the driving student, Sandra, made a left turn in front of an oncoming log truck.    It was a difficult intersection, and had to see, and it was her very FIRST time behind the wheel. 

Sandra had started her left turn, saw the log truck, panicked, and slammed on the breaks. If she had kept going, the log truck might have missed them, but when she stopped, the log truck had no place to go but into the driver's Ed car.Yes, she did cause the accident, and the log truck hit the car.    the girl in the backseat, driver's side, Connie,  hit her head on the window and died. It was tragic, and it was an accident.

A week later I started hearing kids in school harassing Sandra about the accident. They accused her of killing Connie on purpose.  I felt so sorry for Sandra as I knew she had to be devastated, and most likely already felt guilty.   When I heard 2 Sophomore girls threaten to beat up Sandra, I stepped in and said they'd have to go through me first.    I told them it was an accident, and since Connie's family had forgiven Sandra (Which they had)  then it was not their place to punish her more than she was already punishing herself.

The rest of my class (The seniors) backed me, and we refused to let anyone harass Sandra in front of us again.   For the rest of the year, we protected Sandra because we all knew she did not cause that accident on purpose.   

I knew Connie, she was the little sister of one of my best friends.  The classiest thing I saw was when Connie's older sister, Debbie (my friend) came to the school to pick up Connie's things.  (About a month after the accident)   Debbie hugged Sandra in front of the students at an assembly, and told her (Talking into a microphone) That Debbie was sorry Sandra had gone through what she did, and that the family did not blame Sandra in any way.  THAT  took a lot of class!

Small towns can be awful and wonderful.   I'm glad mine was more wonderful than it was awful!


Emmy

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Re: driver's ed car accident--girl gets blamed!!
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2007, 02:28:43 PM »
The 15 year old did mention the alcohol to the police so it was not like she didn't say anything - what else could she do.  At 15, I could never imagine myself talking back to a police officer so I don't blame her for that - and even if I did and was threatened with jail or something else, I would back off.  Also somebody that young may not think to call 911 for additional backup.  It's easy to think of these things when you are older and had more life experience, but it was this young girl's first time driving.  However, I would say shame on her if she didn't tell her parents and shame on the parents if they ignored the situation.