Author Topic: I Need to Grow a Backbone....  (Read 5212 times)

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BettyDraper

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #15 on: May 14, 2009, 08:54:34 AM »
There's nothing impolite about a cool expression, and hopefully it would discourage future attempts on their part.  Door-to-door solicitation is rude no matter what the cause or motivation, and no matter how great the altruism of the unpaid volunteers.  I give plenty to charity but on my own schedule and I don't care to be interrrupted by people pounding at the door asking for cash. 

To be honest, I suspect nothing will discourage future attempts.  It may work if it is someone from your neighbourhood, collecting from just their neighbours but in large scale collections, it's unlikely that the collector will even remember individual donors/non-donors.  In the case of this specific organisation, it's an annual event - next year it might be someone different coming to your door. 

Re. the part I've bolded, a genuine question: are charity collections really rude?  I've honestly never thought about it like that before.  Maybe I'm more generous in my feelings toward them because I have helped with charity collections and events myself, so I know how difficult it is for charities to raise money, but maybe I need to send myself to E-Hell?

I'm pretty sure that here in the UK, charities can't pay people to take part in collections so I guess I see it as someone, who really believes in the cause, trying to raise funds for their cause.   If it's the same person coming to your door every week, then I could see it getting annoying.  If I then ask them to stop coming to my door and they continue, then it would be rude.  If it's one person coming once a year, then I don't see it as rude.  Is it not similar to telephone solicitation/marketing?  Yes, it can be annoying to be disturbed, but I think I've seen it stated here that it's not rude for them to call once, it's only rude if they continue to call after you've asked them to stop.





Yes, I find it rude for any solicitor to intrude upon and interrupt me at my home.  The other day I was on a business phone call and someone literally battered at my front door -- I thought there was some emergency but no, it was a couple of husky teens looking for a handout for some activity.  They disrupted my conversation with a client and startled me, at their convenience and for their cause.  Extremely rude and inconsiderate. 

You imply that your feelings toward such practices are 'more generous' and say 'what's once a year?' but multiply yourself by all of the others out there who think their cause is equally noble (and just because the charity volunteer thinks their cause is worthwhile doesn't mean everyone else has to agree; to me it's no different from an uninvited sales pitch) and it creates a steady stream of door-knockers.  Not to mention the religious witnesses and actual commercial sales people.  Since I began working from home in recent months I cannot believe the number who have the gall to intrude on my business hours for their own selfish purposes. 

As to the OP, I thought she said she dreaded when the neighbor would be coming around to collect the envelope; that's why I suggested the cool expression.  You're correct in that outsiders likely wouldn't be deterred.


high dudgeon

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #16 on: May 14, 2009, 01:21:32 PM »
Just throw out the envelope, as you would with any other unsolicited, unwelcome piece of junk mail you receive. The whole point of leaving the envelope and coming by to get it back is just a pressure tactic. I don't enjoy being pressured, so I don't go along with it. Throw it out, and donate to the charities that you've chosen, guilt-free! If you happen to be home when someone does come back for it, just politely tell them it got thrown out and that you're supporting other charities right now and won't be donating to theirs.

I do think the ploy of leaving an envelope without permission, and then coming back and asking for it to be returned (ideally full of money) is somewhat rude. It's designed to give the solicitors two chances to pester you for money, instead of just one. And they try to create a sense of obligation to you to at least take care of the envelope, an obligation that you never chose to accept. Don't accept it, just throw it out, and maybe next year they'll know not to waste an envelope on you!

delphinium

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #17 on: May 14, 2009, 01:22:11 PM »
I never heard of Christian Aid and then I realized the OP was from England.

Re the races and walks for various charities that need sponsors, I would be more likely to sponsor somebody if they actually did something, rather than just walk.  Like cleaning up trash along the highway or something of that nature.

Bethalize

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2009, 01:44:00 PM »
Re. the part I've bolded, a genuine question: are charity collections really rude?  I've honestly never thought about it like that before.  Maybe I'm more generous in my feelings toward them because I have helped with charity collections and events myself, so I know how difficult it is for charities to raise money, but maybe I need to send myself to E-Hell?

It's not rude to ask. It's rude to ask repeatedly, demand or say offensive things when people decline to give, but it's not rude to ask.

UK law is very specific over what is allowed on a door-to-door basis. Charity collections that are not on private land must be licensed and the conditions of the license can depend on the local authority but usually will require sealed tins and over 16s.  The Charities Act 2006 is the governing law for everything around fundrasing.

It's not rude to knock on a door and ask people if they would like to donate. It can get annoying, but so can the people who keep on asking you (politely) if you're sure you wouldn't like another cup of tea.

BettyDraper

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2009, 04:13:52 PM »
Re. the part I've bolded, a genuine question: are charity collections really rude?  I've honestly never thought about it like that before.  Maybe I'm more generous in my feelings toward them because I have helped with charity collections and events myself, so I know how difficult it is for charities to raise money, but maybe I need to send myself to E-Hell?

It's not rude to ask. It's rude to ask repeatedly, demand or say offensive things when people decline to give, but it's not rude to ask.

UK law is very specific over what is allowed on a door-to-door basis. Charity collections that are not on private land must be licensed and the conditions of the license can depend on the local authority but usually will require sealed tins and over 16s.  The Charities Act 2006 is the governing law for everything around fundrasing.

It's not rude to knock on a door and ask people if they would like to donate. It can get annoying, but so can the people who keep on asking you (politely) if you're sure you wouldn't like another cup of tea.

I believe it is rude to knock on someone's door uninvited.  If I want to do business with a particular merchant, charity, school group, etc., I'll call them and arrange a transaction.  Otherwise, I don't want anyone but invited guests interrupting my time at home.

JeanFromBNA

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #20 on: May 14, 2009, 10:51:49 PM »
I don't find door to door solicitation rude, as long as those soliciting accept a polite, "No."  I think that they would have more success and a better reputation if they would pay attention to "no soliciting" signs. 

I don't think that it reasonable for a charity to set up shop and expect donors to find them.  Charities have to reach out to be successful, and methods of success can be hit or miss. 

Sparkle Star

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #21 on: May 15, 2009, 01:29:02 PM »
Just to let you know that in the end it was a bit of an anticlimax as I was out when the guy called - my husband was here and did give him some money, but that's his choice.  ::)

However.... I did use the line this afternoon on a neighbour from a couple of doors away who happened to arrive home at the same time as me. Turns out her little boy (aged 2) has chicken pox and it's causing her great inconvenience to take time off work to care for him.

I can sympathise with that, having been there myself in the past. But.....She knows I work for myself, from home, and suggested brightly that I could look after him for at least a couple of days next week so she could go back to work. She graciously said that she was sure he'd be ok to stay in my car alone for a couple of minutes while I picked my daughter up from school, as long as he was still in my view......!!!  :o

I was pretty shocked that she could expect me to agree to that - I WORK from home, not sit on my backside and drink tea all day while I watch daytime TV, and I know enough from experience that nursing sick kids and home-working are mutually exclusive.

I did justify myself a bit, which I shouldn't have done, explaining that I had at least one meeting/appointment each day and actually felt guilty that I couldn't/wouldn't help. But I stuck to my guns - it's not like I was refusing to help out for a specific reason or in an emergency, she just wanted a handy carer for her son. (See, I'm justifying myself on here now too!)

Maybe my response should have been: "Why would I want to do that?"
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BettyDraper

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #22 on: May 15, 2009, 03:29:08 PM »
I don't find door to door solicitation rude, as long as those soliciting accept a polite, "No."  I think that they would have more success and a better reputation if they would pay attention to "no soliciting" signs. 

I don't think that it reasonable for a charity to set up shop and expect donors to find them.  Charities have to reach out to be successful, and methods of success can be hit or miss. 

Well, the postal service is still in action.  A letter or postcard that I can read at my own convenience is much less of a turn-off than a human being knocking insistently on my front door while I'm otherwise occupied.  There are plenty of ways to conduct fundraisers without showing up uninvited on individuals' doorsteps.

Animala

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #23 on: May 15, 2009, 03:44:10 PM »
I use a simple, "No, thank you" for this type of situation.  Most people are slightly confused and acquiesce right away.  Only the bold will push further and they would have anyway.  The next line of defense is, "It isn't something I discus." Then bean dip or leave the conversation.  Act like you are talking about the weather.

Curly Wurly Doggie Breath

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #24 on: May 15, 2009, 11:10:14 PM »
Why do some poeple think that people that work from home, Don't well ......... Work ??

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Bethalize

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #25 on: May 17, 2009, 12:27:06 PM »
I believe it is rude to knock on someone's door uninvited.  If I want to do business with a particular merchant, charity, school group, etc., I'll call them and arrange a transaction.  Otherwise, I don't want anyone but invited guests interrupting my time at home.

Noted. It's my understanding that in Western society individuals might find such behaviour annoying but it's not ill-mannered, uncivilised or socially incorrect to knock unsolicited on someone's door; the front door is the public display of the household and as such it is the correct place to knock.

Of course if you live in a house in the middle of a field with your letter box at the edge of the property and a big sign that says "No solicitors" and "Private: keep out" then anyone knocking at your door would indeed be someone I would class as rude.

BettyDraper

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #26 on: May 17, 2009, 12:51:24 PM »
I believe it is rude to knock on someone's door uninvited.  If I want to do business with a particular merchant, charity, school group, etc., I'll call them and arrange a transaction.  Otherwise, I don't want anyone but invited guests interrupting my time at home.

Noted. It's my understanding that in Western society individuals might find such behaviour annoying but it's not ill-mannered, uncivilised or socially incorrect to knock unsolicited on someone's door; the front door is the public display of the household and as such it is the correct place to knock.

Of course if you live in a house in the middle of a field with your letter box at the edge of the property and a big sign that says "No solicitors" and "Private: keep out" then anyone knocking at your door would indeed be someone I would class as rude.

Well, I live in an old-fashioned tree-lined neighborhood in a quaint suburb of a large city and I still find it rude, when the knock at my door is motivated by the knocker's desire to ask me for money or initiate a commercial transaction.

I don't consider social calls rude (though I detest droppers-in) and the Publishers Clearinghouse people bearing a giant check can beat their way in with an axe if they so desire.  :)  But charities and salespersons had better use the postal mail if they expect a positive outcome from me. 

Mediancat

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Re: I Need to Grow a Backbone....
« Reply #27 on: May 18, 2009, 03:28:19 PM »
I would have taken the envelope, tossed it in the trash, and gone about my business. I wouldn't feel any obligation to make any explanations when they came back, beyond "I'm sorry, I can't." Soliciting donations is one thing. This is just short of demanding them, and I'm not particularly fond of that kind of blackmail.

Rob
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