RELATIVES: "We'll just take the cake with us."

[ganjin]

Wow! I'd have been hard pressed to let anyone treat my parents like that - I would have suggested to my ILs that we ALL go out for dinner, and that my husband and I would be happy to pick up the tab.

I agree, apparently her daughter did as well,note the word "former" in front of the son in law.

The above was me---and he is, and DD and her new family are marvelous, thanks.   We were just both so startled, I think, standing there with the champagne glasses, especially after they came so early---DD had thought they were going to look at cars, then they came to our house BEFORE dinner.

She knew we'd been slighted, since we ALWAYS had them over a time or two, and they had NEVER once invited us out, EVER.   She'd been so embarrassed that we weren't invited to dinner with them, but other than inviting us herself, there wasn't much other option.   I just laughed, cut cake, and let it slide, for her sake.

We all got along ok for the next few years---not great, but with limited exposure.  

There's another little scenario somewhere in EHell with above former SIL, sans his parents, involving cleaning his plate of cocktail sauce with my best Battenburg napkins, a gift from my late Mother.   That family was class all the way.

[twinkletoes]

"There's another little scenario somewhere in EHell with above former SIL, sans his parents, involving cleaning his plate of cocktail sauce with my best Battenburg napkins, a gift from my late Mother.   That family was class all the way."

ACK!  That was him, too?!?

[Shoo]

I'm not understanding why she felt compelled to give them the whole cake. I would have cut a few slices for them to take, or suggested they come back by after dinner.

I'm wondering the same thing.  Especially with their history! 

[Lunadiana75]

Ganjin, I was thinking about what I would in that situation,and honestly I most likely would have reacted the same as you.  There have been a few times in my life I was so taken aback by someone's outrageous demand that I just complied because my brain was still processing "Did I just hear that?  Did that just happen?"  Other times I just haven't had the energy to start an argument over something. 

[twinkletoes]

Ganjin, I was thinking about what I would in that situation,and honestly I most likely would have reacted the same as you.  There have been a few times in my life I was so taken aback by someone's outrageous demand that I just complied because my brain was still processing "Did I just hear that?  Did that just happen?"  Other times I just haven't had the energy to start an argument over something. 

Lunadiana, what are you doing in my head?!? 

But seriously, that's what I was thinking.  It's all well and good for everyone to say "well, she SHOULD HAVE done 'X' instead," but that's all hindsight.  In reality, when something that blatantly rude happens, I know I just sort of go with the flow, as it were.   

[Asharah]

I think daughter should have said, "We already have plans with my parents for our birthday, so you can either invite them to come to dinner with us, or come with us to their house and we'll go out another night." But hey, just my opinion!

[Mrs. Eclipse]

MIL said, "Just cut yourselves some cake to keep and we'll take the rest to have after dinner."

We lit the candles and sang; I cut two slices for us and handed over the rest in the cake box.   

Uuuuummm... "No"?

You allow yourself to be walked over, and people will do it. 

I suppose though, the sheer shock of such a rude request would startle someone into complying. 

I probably would have done the same thing.  I'd rather have no cake but no fight than a cake and a fight.

[VorFemme]

Sounds like a good time to "accidentally" drop the cake after you box it up.  If they leave it, it is still in the bakery box and can be eaten, even if it isn't pretty any more.  If they take it, well, ;-) everyone is going to stare at the busted up cake plastered on the lid of the box and wonder why they drop-kicked the cake!