Author Topic: HOA and the Neighbor Jan-May 2006: Snowlady, patio light & racist bagels  (Read 26849 times)

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Ehelldame

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1/04/2006, posted by Cskirpan

Hi everyone! My neighbors have been quiet lately (yippee), but it must be a full moon because they turned into werewolves yesterday.

Background: Last spring the farm that borders my family's home was sold. The sold property was divided and became a home owner's association.

Right after this happened, the people who moved in next door started causing problems. They couldn't believe that my husband and I did not have to comply with the HOA rules. They have sent us irate letters, photographed us and our kids, complained about our pets, my husband tilling the garden, me using the weed-wacker in the morning, our daughter's birthday party, local Halloween customs. They have also succeeded in annoying the PTA and the local elementary bus drivers.

Our home now features a high (6 ft.) privacy fence along their side of our property. I think that covers it- did I forget anything?

Monday night we had a 8 inch snowfall. The snow was a wet, heavy snow (perfect for rolling.) Since school was cancelled, yesterday afternnon, I took the kids (7, 5 and 2) outside to play. We had a blast, built a giant snowlady (she has a straw hat, red wax lips, jewled sunglasses, and what could be considered a bust- the snowball rolled kind of crooked.)

We built the snowlady on the left side of our home (this is important for later) because the snow had drifted deeper there. (The HOA and the fence are on the right side of our yard.)

We were on our way inside, when the neighbor woman (NW) drove by real slow. Then the phone rings, it's NW. She's complaining about the "obscene topless cavorting snowlady" in our yard. I told her it was a snowlady, get over it. She started shrieking, so I hung up. (And noted NW's call in our growing larger by the day log of crazy neighbor behavior)

About 30 minutes later, our phone rings, it's the local sheriff, asking for directions to our home. When I asked why, he said there had been a complaint of an obscene snowman and he was required to check it out.

He got to our house, took one look at the snowlady and started laughing. He said the caller had said that the snowlady was topless and flaunting it. The sheriff said he had driven out "Just to see what the h#ll caller was taking about." He left shortly thereafter, still chuckling about our shirtless snowlady.

Now I know there is no proof that NW called him, but I *know* it was her. I had to forceably restrain DH from adding 2 pieces of coal to the snowlady's chest to resemble- well, you get the picture.

Bet you didn't know my kids and I knew how to make an obscene snowlady, did you?

Cathy

3/23/2006, posted by Cskirpan

Hi everyone!  My *lovely* neighbors are at it again.   My DD's have gymnastics on Wed. nights.  We're gone between 1 1/2 to 2 hrs.  Since it's dark when we come back, we leave our porch lights on.  (Also, I usually drop DH off at the ambulance bldg.- he's a volunteer driver- and I like to have a porch light on when it's just me and the kids.)

The light by the door is a motion sensor but the one on the back deck stays on all the time.  It's a 75 watt bulb inside a white frosted globe.  It really only illuminates the table and chairs on the deck.  (It really is hard to see anything in the back yard without a flashlight even with the porch lights on.)

OK, so I got home and  the porch lights were not on.  That was creepy because I knew I had left them on.  I left the kids in the locked car and looked around.  There was glass all over the porch and (when I checked later) another pile on the deck.  A sign was taped to the door: "Your porch lights are very disruptive.  They shine in our living room.  It's dangerous to leave outdoor lights on when you aren't home.  Everyone knows you aren't home."  No signature, but considering that you can only see one home from our deck, I wonder who wrote it?

The 2 lightbulbs were smashed.  So someone actually came up onto our porch smashed a lightbulb and then walked around the back deck and smashed another bulb. 

I left the kids in the car, went in, called DH and the state police.  The police came, made a report and gave us a copy for our ever growing file.  They did go and talk to the neighbors, but I don't know what became of that.

Cathy


5/17/2006, posted by Cskirpan

Hi everyone!  I have a confession to make.  I am a racist.  I have kept this well hidden for the past 34 years, so well so, that neither my husband, to whom I've been married for ten yrs, nor my parents, who raised me for 24 yrs. were awars of this horrible flaw in my character. 

So who flushed out this atrocious fact, you may ask?  My *lovely* neighbor woman (NW), of course.

You see, on Monday, we had "Staff Appreciation" at my DDs' school.  Since I'm the Vice pres. of the PTA, I went to help.  We usually give the teachers and staff breakfast on that day and give out little plants as thank yous. 

Last yr. we hired a cook to make omelets and had a real fancy breakfast.  It cost about $250.  This yr. we had a new president, who believes that we should spend more money on the students, so we bought all the students tee shirts for field day.  This left us with about $75. for Staff Appreciation.

Our president bought the flowers and I picked up 3 large bagel platters at a local grocery store (bagels and cream cheese).  We also bought coffee and orange juice.  A few other parents, including NW, came in to help.

(As an aside, I have noticed that NW comes into help a lot more when *I* am in charge of something or helping to run something. Hmmm. . . )

Anyway, we all set out the bagels and cream cheese, juice and coffee.  The teachers and staff all loved it. 

Yesterday, the principal stopped me in the hall and asked me to step into her office.  It seems that one of the moms who helped the day before complained that I only purchased ethnic food (and only one kind of ethnic food, at that) at the breakfast.  The mom was complaining that I was "showing my racist tendancies."  Our principal said that she had been very stern with the woman and had explained that the bagels are both the easiest to prepare and better for the teachers than donuts.  The principal was only telling me this because she wanted to make sure I was aware of the situation.  She didn't actually say NW's name, but she dropped enough deteails for me to be able to identify her.

Looks like it ought to a fun summer.

Cathy

« Last Edit: April 14, 2007, 02:51:49 AM by Ehelldame »

Ehelldame

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bump..thread is now unlocked.  Can't remember why I locked them in the first place.

Asharah

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1/04/2006, posted by CskirpanThey have sent us irate letters, photographed us and our kids, complained about our pets, my husband tilling the garden, me using the weed-wacker in the morning, our daughter's birthday party, local Halloween customs. They have also succeeded in annoying the PTA and the local elementary bus drivers.
I haven't heard the birthday party story. Anybody?


Quote
About 30 minutes later, our phone rings, it's the local sheriff, asking for directions to our home. When I asked why, he said there had been a complaint of an obscene snowman and he was required to check it out.

Lucky the sheriff didn't have anything better to do, you know like a robbery or something?  ::)

"
Quote
It's dangerous to leave outdoor lights on when you aren't home.  Everyone knows you aren't home.

Is that a threat?




Quote
Our president bought the flowers and I picked up 3 large bagel platters at a local grocery store (bagels and cream cheese).  We also bought coffee and orange juice.  A few other parents, including NW, came in to help.

(As an aside, I have noticed that NW comes into help a lot more when *I* am in charge of something or helping to run something. Hmmm. . . )

Anyway, we all set out the bagels and cream cheese, juice and coffee.  The teachers and staff all loved it. 

Yesterday, the principal stopped me in the hall and asked me to step into her office.  It seems that one of the moms who helped the day before complained that I only purchased ethnic food (and only one kind of ethnic food, at that) at the breakfast.  The mom was complaining that I was "showing my racist tendancies." 

Does that mean I'm being a racist when I eat bagels?
« Last Edit: April 14, 2007, 04:14:09 AM by Asharah »
Asharah

jassou

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bump..thread is now unlocked.  Can't remember why I locked them in the first place.

these are my favourite stories... especially with the short summaries above every post about all the previous escapades of the neighbours... (puts the occasional silly remarks of my neighbour concerning my level of cleaning and devision of tasks in our household in perspective)

Is there any news on this front? neighbours moved, told off, changed their ways?

sparksals

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Cathy recently had a baby, so she's not here as often. 

EddiesMom

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I look forward to seeing Cathy's next installment.  Heaven knows, I almost fell off my chair laughing about the racist bagels and the cavorting nude snowlady! 

litecandles

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Tee hee at the snow lady and the Sheriff.

Asharah

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Quote
I had to forceably restrain DH from adding 2 pieces of coal to the snowlady's chest to resemble- well, you get the picture.
Why exactly did you stop him?
Asharah

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Asharah

Moralia

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I know some guys in a Civil War reenactment group...they could do maneuvers opposite their SCA counterparts...I wonder if we could also scare up a Viking horde... >:D

Suze

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How about the (maybe) urban legend about the cops using SCA folks to practice their "riot control" manuvers on.

I can see it now -- HOA lady can't call the cops - they are already there!  Don't tell me that she wouldn't blow a gasket then!
Reality is for people who lack Imagination

Suze

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bump
Reality is for people who lack Imagination

VorFemme

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Re: HOA and the Neighbor Jan-May 2006: Snowlady, patio light & racist bagels
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2007, 06:07:43 PM »
I now gotten another member of the family to read Etiquette Hell - DD posts here as Ambroisia Hino.  DS isn't fourteen yet - but he loves cavorting snowladies and racist bagels. 

Does anyone know how Cirkspan is doing with the baby - we really need to know.........and what NW is up to would be strawberry jam & cream cheese on our racist bagels!
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Gwywnnydd

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Re: HOA and the Neighbor Jan-May 2006: Snowlady, patio light & racist bagels
« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2007, 02:30:07 PM »
I know some guys in a Civil War reenactment group...they could do maneuvers opposite their SCA counterparts...I wonder if we could also scare up a Viking horde... >:D

I've heard some entertaining stories about an SCA event that ended up at one end of a state park, the other end of which was taken up with a WWII reenactment group... Pirates riding tanks, comparative hand-to-hand combat discussions, good times :).

VorFemme

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Re: HOA and the Neighbor Jan-May 2006: Snowlady, patio light & racist bagels
« Reply #14 on: October 23, 2007, 03:49:03 PM »
I know some guys in a Civil War reenactment group...they could do maneuvers opposite their SCA counterparts...I wonder if we could also scare up a Viking horde... >:D

I've heard some entertaining stories about an SCA event that ended up at one end of a state park, the other end of which was taken up with a WWII reenactment group... Pirates riding tanks, comparative hand-to-hand combat discussions, good times :).

My idea of fun - Snarky VorFemme wants to know when & where so she can contact the "Roaming Gnome" for tickets NOW!!!!!
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?