You X? I guess you believe Y!

[Keres]

I have used this a lot recently, enough that I am starting to wonder if there is something in the air that makes people jump to offensive and rather silly conclusions.  My actual answer in these instances was 'what an interesting assumption', the italicized is just what I was thinking when I responded.

You bake bread?  I guess you think all women are second class citizens. - Um, no, I like homemade bread.
You don't fly the flag on the Fourth of July?  What, do you hate soldiers?  - Um, no, the only flag we own is the one that was on my veteran Father-in-laws coffin, it does not come out of it's protective case where it sits in a place of honor along with his medals.
You don't say the pledge?  What, do you hate this country? - Um, no, I dislike the pledge
You planted quarter acre garden?  What, are you starting a survivalist cult? - Um, no, I like fresh herbs and vegetables and sell them at a roadside stand.
You let your son have a pink ball?  What, are you trying to turn him gay? - Um..no, it's a bright color and he likes bright colors, and the green and yellow ones are hard to see when they get kicked into the tall grass.
You don't got to church?  What, do you worship demons or something? - um, I seriously cannot believe you actually ASKED that.
You are a mom and play online games?  What, do you just plunk your kid in the crib and let him scream while you game? - You do know babies SLEEP right?
Your kid isn't potty trained yet?  What, do you just let him run around with a dripping diaper all day? - The concept of changing a kid is too much for you to wrap your head around

[rhirhi]

Your kid isn't potty trained yet?  What, do you just let him run around with a dripping diaper all day? - The concept of changing a kid is too much for you to wrap your head around

I get this one- DS is almost 3, and had severe constipation, so he's afraid of the toilet (I'd have to force him to sit on it so he couldn't cross his legs- he hated it, but it worked).

Also, because I let my kid watch TV, he's going to be lazy and overweight. Never mind that for the first two years of his life we had an apartment on the second floor and I don't do stairs too well, so I couldn't take him outside without DH around. (We just moved to a house, and DS still likes his Nick Jr. but he's outside the rest of the day.)

[Shiraz_Much?]

Wow.     People actually SAY this stuff to you??!!  I'm speechless....even after spending way too much time on this forum. lol

[TiredMum]

In 'other' country

- you're 'colour' you must be 'religion'   

[hobish]

You planted quarter acre garden?  What, are you starting a survivalist cult? - Um, no, I like fresh herbs and vegetables and sell them at a roadside stand.

Oh, how hard it would be not to say yes and then try to get them to see the light of the Omiscient Tomato and Her Mysterious Gifts.

[Mediancat]

"You're a vegetarian, so that must mean you'll give me a lecture, a hard time, or at least a dirty look if I order something with meat in it." No, I'm not a converting vegetarian, thank you.

"You're a (not my religion), so that really means you haven't heard about (insert speaker's wonderful religion here)." I probably have, and if I haven't, the workplace isn't the right time for you to try to convince me.

Rob

[nyarlathotep]

You larp/play DnD? I guess you only go because your boyfriend does. (No, I go because I am the ref/GM.)
You're a feminist? That obviously means you think women are superior to men. (Does the phrase "equal civil rights" ring any bells?)
You believe [X]? That means you must hate everyone who believes in [y]! And have no sense of morality! And EAT BABIES! (etc)

And of course there's the whole swearing issue. It saddens me how many times that assumption has come up on this board. Apparently, the fact I swear in appropriate circumstances (and by that I mean with friends, in private (or very very quietly) and certainly not in front of children) means I possess neither imagination nor education nor vocabulary. Perhaps I should tell my tutors to stop giving me firsts...

[Keres]

Gad...if I had a dollar for everytime I got the 'you play DnD?  What, are you one of those crazy folks who can't separate fantasy from reality and are going to go beserk and sacrifice everyone to a deity you made up last Saturday?  Get away from me, you freak!', I'd be rich just from my own family members.

But hey, since I get treated like a nut anyway, I've really stopped worrying about people overhearing me when I threaten to sacrifice my gaming buddies PCs to the deity I made up last Saturday.

I have actually had someone talk to a friend of mine about whether or not they should call CPS to look in on my kid because I am a gamer.  The irony is that the folks in my last gaming group had some of the most well-behaved, intelligent, well-read children in our community BECAUSE they were allowed to game and thus learned to exercise their minds and imagination.  And learn how to add quickly.  I remember a session where each of us had an assigned pre-schooler to roll and add our dice for us.  Oddly, it was one of the smoothest combats we ever went through.

[ChristiKayAnn]

You larp/play DnD? I guess you only go because your boyfriend does. (No, I go because I am the ref/GM.)
You're a feminist? That obviously means you think women are superior to men. (Does the phrase "equal civil rights" ring any bells?)
You believe [X]? That means you must hate everyone who believes in [y]! And have no sense of morality! And EAT BABIES! (etc)

And of course there's the whole swearing issue. It saddens me how many times that assumption has come up on this board. Apparently, the fact I swear in appropriate circumstances (and by that I mean with friends, in private (or very very quietly) and certainly not in front of children) means I possess neither imagination nor education nor vocabulary. Perhaps I should tell my tutors to stop giving me firsts...

Your post reminded me of this car commercial that has been playing here in Denver recently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLgqO3MQk_w

[JoanOfArc]

You're from Texas?  You must have rode your horse to school growing up!  Not really.  Texas does have cities and cars you know.

You go to [my college]?  You must be a liberal, hippie, communist!  Not so much, thanks for assuming.

You're studying art?  You must want to starve! No, I am going to grad school for a career that is quite lucrative.  Art degree does not equal starving.

You're studying psychology? You must be able to analysis me/mess with people's heads.  I have no intrest in analysing you.  And I could mess with your head before I studied psychology, thank you very much! 

You went to an all-girl's school?  You must be a [woman who is attracted to other women].  Honestly, where does this come from?  Do people think that parents choose schools because they magically know their child's sexual orientation when they are very young? 

[Kaora]

With my family:

"You're practicing E?  You must be the reason we have so many ghosts!"

[kherbert05]

I had fun with the Texas one as a kid. Sis and I had our Canadian Cousins convinced
1. We rode horses to school
2. had oil wells in the back yard
3. Killed snakes regularly (true at one point when there was construction going on the next street over but Dad did the killing and only the rattlers and coperheads not the bullsnakes)
4. we wore cowboy hats, boots regularly to school (Ok technically we sort of did wear them regularly once a year on go Texan Day)


They finally bulked at the field of buffalo next to our elementary school in Houston - the one thing that was absolutely true. The guy that owned the land on one side of our school had a herd of buffalo.

[FunkyMunky]

As an Australian, apparently I:

have a pet kangaroo
personally know/knew Paul Hogan, Steve Irwin or Yahoo Serious (ok, I do know someone who knows Nicole Kidman, and a friend of mine lived next door to Heath Ledger as a kid, but that's a coincidence).
say "g'day" a lot
live either in the outback or on the Barrier Reef
am concerned about the likelihood of native dogs eating infants

[Harriet Jones]

You're from the US South? Blah blah Civil War/Gone With the Wind/Deliverance ... The Civil War ended well over a century ago, we have paved roads and big cities, and also have you heard of something called fiction?

[Sycorax]

To proceed with the game:

I'm a German, so I must be a nazi. Thank you very much, but I was born in 1960 - 15 years after the Third Reich ended. And I had a grandfather who was in a KZ because he was against the Nazis.

I'm a German, so I wear leather hosen and eat sauerkraut every day. So sorry, but the only leather hose I ever owned I've grown out around 43 years ago and though I like sauerkraut, I eat it only two or three times a year because my digestions reacts rather strongly to it.

I'm a preacher's daughter so I must be a) the worst girl in town or b) a total prude. I simply am either

I did some eventing riding in my past, what means: I'm an animal torturer. Thank you very much, but I don't think my horses would share this opinion. And my vet doesn't either.

I've published a few books, so I must be stinking rich. I wish I were! But unfortunately my name isn't J.K. Rowlings.

I own a few horses, therefore I must be stinking rich. Not true either. I only own a few horses because I'm a horse br*eder and earn my money with horses

Sycorax
"If I'd get only a cent every time someone comes up with this 'You do this, therefore you must be that' game, I'd be indeed rich!"