You X? I guess you believe Y!

[RebeccainGA]

I get tons of those -

You're a minister's wife? You must be brainwashed and subservient! (no, she'd hate that - and besides, until we met I was a pantheist/leaning Jewish and still am open to lots of religions)

You're a lesbian? You must hate men! No, only those that make those kinds of comments. Or ask to watch. My butch partner isn't your type, thanks!

You work in IT? You must be a programmer! No, actually, I do data modeling and tool creation. Can't even code HTML without a program. But thanks for playing!

You play video games? You must be into the violent ones! And have really fast reflexes! No, I play the Sims. A lot. And FarmTown/Farmville/Yoville/Cafe World. No reflexes there, bub. Sorry

You have a theatre degree? You must be so artistic and diva like! No, my degree is in technical theatre. And my M.B.A. is in technology management. Wanna see me puke? Try to get me up on stage.

You have an MBA! You must make a ton of money! I wish. Lowest pay on my team. Only one with a master's degree.

[Sleepingmediocre]

personal favorite:

"You don't want kids? You must HATE CHILDREN!!" (I don't hate them - I just prefer to borrow them for awhile, and then give them back.)

Firecat, this is EXACTLY how I put it when people ask me about my kids!  "Oh, I don't have any of my own.  I just borrow other people's."   

[pendragon1980]

I got this one last night while at work. I thank medical TV shows for this one.

In the patient's defense, he was enjoying a post procedure pain medication.

"You're a nurse?, you must date/play scrabble with all the doctors"

Yesh.

[whiterose]

personal favorite:

"You don't want kids? You must HATE CHILDREN!!" (I don't hate them - I just prefer to borrow them for awhile, and then give them back.)

Firecat, this is EXACTLY how I put it when people ask me about my kids!  "Oh, I don't have any of my own.  I just borrow other people's."   

I get this one as well. Never mind I work with kids. Never mind that another one of the lines ("I'm afraid that won't be possible") is one I could use in this situation quite well. Never mind I love working with kids and would not trade it for anything in the world. Too bad my not wanting kids of my own makes me selfish and hateful in their eyes.

[PaddedPaws]

I get tons of those -

You're a minister's wife? You must be brainwashed and subservient! (no, she'd hate that - and besides, until we met I was a pantheist/leaning Jewish and still am open to lots of religions)

You're a ********? You must hate men! No, only those that make those kinds of comments. Or ask to watch. My butch partner isn't your type, thanks!

You work in IT? You must be a programmer! No, actually, I do data modeling and tool creation. Can't even code HTML without a program. But thanks for playing!

You play video games? You must be into the violent ones! And have really fast reflexes! No, I play the Sims. A lot. And FarmTown/Farmville/Yoville/Cafe World. No reflexes there, bub. Sorry

You have a theatre degree? You must be so artistic and diva like! No, my degree is in technical theatre. And my M.B.A. is in technology management. Wanna see me puke? Try to get me up on stage.

You have an MBA! You must make a ton of money! I wish. Lowest pay on my team. Only one with a master's degree.

LOL, those made me laugh, especially the one about being subserviant.

I think the assumption about programming in IT is not a rude one, though. It's not a value judgement, or an inappropriate comment on money. It simply comes from lack of knowlege about your field, and people are probably just trying to make small talk about jobs.

[hobish]

personal favorite:

"You don't want kids? You must HATE CHILDREN!!" (I don't hate them - I just prefer to borrow them for awhile, and then give them back.)

Firecat, this is EXACTLY how I put it when people ask me about my kids!  "Oh, I don't have any of my own.  I just borrow other people's."  

I'm down with OPK
That is my new line, but i only use it on people who will get it.(reference to Naughty by Nature song)

I definitely get the kid hater thing, too. It's true i prefer not to be around them most of the time; but i definitely like some. I even had one friend make a comment "When i have kids and we aren't friends anymore..." That hurt.

[Hawkwatcher]

personal favorite:

"You don't want kids? You must HATE CHILDREN!!" (I don't hate them - I just prefer to borrow them for awhile, and then give them back.)

Firecat, this is EXACTLY how I put it when people ask me about my kids!  "Oh, I don't have any of my own.  I just borrow other people's."   

I get this one as well. Never mind I work with kids. Never mind that another one of the lines ("I'm afraid that won't be possible") is one I could use in this situation quite well. Never mind I love working with kids and would not trade it for anything in the world. Too bad my not wanting kids of my own makes me selfish and hateful in their eyes.

I wonder why these individuals view you as selfish for not wanting children.  Do they think everyone who chooses to have children is doing so as a favor to society? 

[extranormal]

I just read an etiquette book that addressed this question. The author suggests saying, "And why would you want somebody as selfish as I am to have children, anyway?"

[whiterose]

Because I would be engaging in marital relations without procreating. I would be getting the benefits of an act that benefits my spouse and I and nobody else without producing the selfless results. Because I would not be making the sacrifices that are involved with having kids- only getting the perks and benefits of having a spouse and what having a spouse entails (honeymoons, romantic dinners, intellectual stimulation, a good friend at home, etc.). Some of them view scrabble as only a means for procreations, others don't but still think it is selfish to not want kids.

Good one regarding the selfish being wanting kids. If you knew me, you would realize that I am not selfish- but I do still want things for myself (ie- a spouse) and cannot give endlessly without recharging my batteries.