Didn't work for me, and I know I will see her again...long

[pollywog]

I went to a large chain store the other day to get baby supplies.  Wipes, bottle liners, etc.
BTW- I was rather ill with a fever of 103.  Had to get the stuff, no choice, normally would never be out with a temp like that.
Anyway, it's mid day, the store is fairly empty, two checkers are gabbing.  I put my stuff on the belt, the checker who belonged in the next register says "So, do you have a baby?"

me: Yes

Checker:  How old?

me: 16 months

checker: And you still giver her a bottle?  Why?
[oh, here we go - this is when I should have ended this, I know]

me: Because it works for her and I'm OK with it.  Don't worry, I doubt she'll go to college with a bottle or binky in her mouth.

Checker:  I got my baby off the bottle at a year and a half.  It was easy.

me:  good

Checker:  But, it was too late, her teeth had already rotted, and now she has to have surgery to fix the damage.

me: oh, sorry to hear that
*Let me just add here that I have already paid by this time and my items bagged.  The checker whom is speaking to me HAS my bags and I am holding my hands out for them, and she is not handing them over.

Checker:  You need to get her off the bottle now or else.

me:  I'm OK with her bottle use.  I make sure to brush her teeth several times a day and give her water after her milk.  And she doesn't get any juice.  It's OK.  It works for us.

checker:  Brushing doesn't work.  It's really easy, it only takes a couple of days and you need to take her bottle away now.

me:  Silence.  Mostly stunned, but also at this point I am furious because I am sick and don't want to be having this conversation (I KNOW, Should never have engaged) and know if I say anything else it would not be ehell approved.
She gives up my bags and I walk away.  With her calling behind me "It's easy, you have to do it!"

So, I will eventually see this person again.  SMall town, I go to this store at least once a month.
If she makes a comment again, should I a.) Repeat that we do what works for us and it is not any of her business,  b.) Walk away without saying a word, or c.) tell her my baby also STILL sleeps with us AND uses a binky and see how she reacts to that?

No, seriously....a, or b or some other option?

[Hanna]

Speak to the store manager about her.

[Black Delphinium]

Speak to the store manager about her.

POD. My managers would have kittens if I talked like that to a customer.

[Hanna]

Speak to the store manager about her.

POD. My managers would have kittens if I talked like that to a customer.

hopefully they wouldn't bottle feed them though.

[FoxPaws]

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

"So, do you have a baby?"
me: Yes
Checker:  How old?
me: 16 months
checker: And you still giver her a bottle?  Why?
me: That can all just go in one bag. Or some other innocuous comment unrelated to hers.
Checker:  I got my baby off the bottle at a year and a half.  It was easy.
me:  Silent smile.
Checker:  But, it was too late, her teeth had already rotted, and now she has to have surgery to fix the damage.
me: Smile with neutral ''mmm".
*Let me just add here that I have already paid by this time and my items bagged.  The checker whom is speaking to me HAS my bags and I am holding my hands out for them, and she is not handing them over.

Checker:  You need to get her off the bottle now or else.
me:  I need my bags, please.
checker:  Brushing doesn't work.  It's really easy, it only takes a couple of days and you need to take her bottle away now.
me:  Thank you. Taking your bags and walking away.

[missmolly]

Speak to the store manager about her.

POD. My managers would have kittens if I talked like that to a customer.

hopefully they wouldn't bottle feed them though.

Definitely speak to the manager. Trying to push parenting beliefs on people is just as inappropriate as pushing religious or political beliefs.

[I'mnotinsane]

OT but I have to ask:  Does this checker not realize that 16 mos is less than a year and a half?

I know, not the point.  And I totally agree with you-she was rude.  Can you just avoid her line in the future?

[Tosha Go]

OT but I have to ask:  Does this checker not realize that 16 mos is less than a year and a half?

I know, not the point.  And I totally agree with you-she was rude.  Can you just avoid her line in the future?

I think what happened is that even though she got her kid off the bottle, her teeth were already ruined, implying that the OP's baby's teeth may be ruined already.

I would bring it up with the store manager.

[M-theory]

Agree with what others have said: talk to the manager. It's nice of you to be polite, but she is a serviceperson who's there to serve you, and you don't need to take any lip about something that's none of her business to begin with. She was being far, far too familiar with you and needs a crash course in customer service, delivered with a clue-by-four.

Honestly, I admire your restraint. Because if it had been me (somewhat lacking in the impulse control department, definitely worse when sick) I would have snapped "Just a reality check here - you are a grocery store cashier, not my OB, right?"

Geez, what gall.

[Twik]

I think the trick is to repeat "I beg your pardon?" in a tone that implies "Do you realize that what you're saying is inappropriate?"

Basically, you didn't try silence. You tried bean-dipping, which is less effective in the short term. Remember, you don't HAVE to keep up a conversation that is rude or presumptuous.

Try this:

Checker: So, do you have a baby?"
me: Yes
Checker:  How old?
me: 16 months
checker: And you still giver her a bottle?  Why?
me: I beg your pardon? (In tone that implies that you must have misheard her, because she couldn't possibly have meant what you thought she said. A chance for her to reconsider the course of the conversation. Mild warning #1.)
Checker:  I got my baby off the bottle at a year and a half.  It was easy.
me:  I beg your pardon. (Tone implies that she'll have to pardon you, for you are not continuing this. Moderate warning #2. Proceed at her own risk.)
Checker:  But, it was too late, her teeth had already rotted, and now she has to have surgery to fix the damage.
me: (silence, looking at Checker with neutral expression, indicating "This conversation is not going to continue. Back off.")
Checker:  You need to get her off the bottle now or else.
me:  (either more deadpan silence, or "I beg your pardon!" in tone that indicates "You're not the boss of me, so why are you ordering me around?" Serious warning #3.)
checker:  Brushing doesn't work.  It's really easy, it only takes a couple of days and you need to take her bottle away now.
me:  Thank you. Could you call your supervisor over for me? I'll like to speak with them, thank you....

[One Goat to Rule Them All]

If you see this person again and she asks you if you've weaned your baby. all you need to say is "That's really none of your concern".

I don't understand the advice, anyway. Even after you stop using the bottle, your baby is still going to be drinking milk, so what does it matter how it gets into her mouth? And how on earth would a bottle be responsible for rotting teeth?

[Suze]

If you see this person again and she asks you if you've weaned your baby. all you need to say is "That's really none of your concern".

I don't understand the advice, anyway. Even after you stop using the bottle, your baby is still going to be drinking milk, so what does it matter how it gets into her mouth? And how on earth would a bottle be responsible for rotting teeth?

some people let the baby fall asleep with the bottle in their mouth and all the milk just "sits there" in their mouth.

and then there are the people who fill the bottle with soda....

[Harriet Jones]

Constant use of sippy cups can also cause problems with teeth.  There's nothing magical about taking the bottle away, if the baby always has a sugary drink in their mouth.

I'd complain to the manager.  She shouldn't be speaking to customers that way.

[pollywog]

Thank you, all.  I agree, I will try to avoid her.  If I can't avoid her in the future, I like the "I beg your pardon?".  I will try that and hopefully she gets the point. 

[Lisbeth]

If you can't avoid her in the future, I'd do two things:

1) Report her to the management
2) Tell her, "I'm sorry, but I am here to get my groceries paid for, not to discuss my parenting decisions with you or anyone else.  They do not concern you.  I have to insist that this conversation stop now."