Etiquette School is in session! > "So kind of you to take an interest."

you have a ton of grey hair, and wrinkles, too!

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If you do want to keep her as a friend, I suggest bean dipping her rather than responding.

I agree with previous posters. If she has nothing nice to say about your appearance then she should shut her mouth unless you ask for her opinion. Man, that bugs me. I understand where you're coming from, though, because you can admire and enjoy a person in so many ways, and yet somehow they still manage to take away from the good by making comments like that. Tell her that you appreciate her concern, but in the future you'll ask for her opinion if you want it.

If you try a few different ways to cut her off, let us know how it goes? If it doesn't work, then as others have said, it's a question of whether it's worth putting up with...

Oh and for the record, I think gray hair is GORGEOUS. I can't wait. I wish I could take a pill right now to make mine go gray!

Chocolate Cake:
You could always try to shock her out of this habit by turning the criticism mirror on her.  Whenever she starts in on you, tell her one flaw you see in her for every flaw she sees in you:

Her:  "Your hair is flat and lifeless"
You:  "Is that a chin hair I see on you?  Nope.  I see five chin hairs."

Her:  "What's happening to your waistline?"
You: "Did you get that shirt on clearance 'cause I can't imagine anyone paying full price for it."

Her:  "You're getting crow's feet"
You:  "Why do your earlobes droop so low?  I think that's a sign of disease."

Her:  'I see you're picking at your fingernails again."
You:  "Wow.  That bra really accentuates your back fat"

.....and so on.  One for one. 

Evil Emmy would be tempted to return the favor by pointing out her flaws.  After all, she did say she'd want somebody to tell her it is was her.

She not only is pointing out flaws, but seems to be making stuff up or at least greatly exaggerating it.  She pointed out a 'ton' of gray hair and wrinkles while you hardly have any gray hair and no wrinkles.  In my opinion, it sounds like she wants to knock you down a peg, and does it under the guise of being a helpful friend so you'd be the bad guy for getting angry at her insults.  Maybe she has low self-esteem and is the type of person who tries to make others feel bad so she can feel better about herself.  Whatever the reason, her behavior is rude and hurtful and she sounds like a lousy friend.

Does she invade your personal space when she inspects you?  I'd imagine she'd have to be pretty close to you to be counting grey hairs.  I can't imagine a friend inspecting me for the purpose of finding flaws to point out.  I'd pull my arm away or move whatever part of my body she was trying to inspect.  Next time she uses the line, "I'd want to know if it was me", you can tell her "well I don't want to know and I don't appreciate my supposed friends trying to pick me apart".  If she's like this with everybody, its amazing she has any friends at all.


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