Author Topic: "I may be fat, but at least people know I'm fat and I don't just look pregnant!"  (Read 7259 times)

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Just Lori

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First, I'm sorry that you were subjected to this.  What a horrid, hurtful comment.

I do think this may be an instance where you have to consider the source.  This woman is so filled with ugliness that it's bound to spill over to innocent bystanders like you.  There's no point in wishing you had come up with a snappy comeback to put her in her place.  Honestly, it sounds like she's a miserable person, and she has to live with herself every day.  There is no way to react to someone who's in such a dark place.

Give yourself a hug and a pat on the back for the weight you've lost.  Most of us know what a struggle it can be, so kudos to you.

Azrail

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First, I'm sorry that you were subjected to this.  What a horrid, hurtful comment.

I do think this may be an instance where you have to consider the source.  This woman is so filled with ugliness that it's bound to spill over to innocent bystanders like you.  There's no point in wishing you had come up with a snappy comeback to put her in her place.  Honestly, it sounds like she's a miserable person, and she has to live with herself every day.  There is no way to react to someone who's in such a dark place.

Give yourself a hug and a pat on the back for the weight you've lost.  Most of us know what a struggle it can be, so kudos to you.


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sparksals

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Yes, she was rude.  But this

this woman in those dingdangity scooter shopping carts (in one because she is heavy).

is a very interesting assumption on your part.

You beat me to it. 

I had to use one of those scooters at Home Depot and other shopping places after having total hip replacement.  I'm mortified people would jump to the conclusion I used it b/c I am fat.  How rude. 

As for her not moving it to the OP's satisfaction, if you've ever used one of those provided at the store, they don't miraculously move.  They take a bit of practice and are very touchy.

The woman was rude for her "aheming", but OP, your post is even moreso.

sparksals

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Then why did she say "I may be fat..." referring to why she can't move around the OP easily?  She could have said " I may be handicapped..." or "I may be sick..." but she didn't.  I wouldn't normally assume that an overweight person was using a cart simply because they were heavy, but when they come out and state that, it moves out of "assumption" territory. 

ETA:  Changed would to wouldn't. 

She couldn't move around the OP easily because those scooters are difficult to maneuver.  Obviously you haven't ever had to use one. 

sparksals

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She may or may not have meant it that way.  I can't know for sure, obviously.  I just don't think its an outlandish or insulting assumption, considering the woman brought up her weight in the first place.  I don't see it necessary to scold the OP in this case.

Because the brackets of "because she is fat" was not necessary information to the story.

Joeschmo

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Actually the Op used the term heavy not fat.  This may be an interesting assumption situation where the poster can be educated by the personal experiences of posters that overweight people don't necessarily use the carts just because they are overweight. 

I see no malice in what the poster said and can see how the assumption about the reason for the cart could be drawn from the woman's statement about weight.  I think some people are taking this post as a personal attack which I don't think it is.

I'm sorry this lady was so rude to you.  I would have responded with something like "I was unaware you needed me to move as you didn't ask me" and stepped back so she could pass.

Wordgeek

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Just Lori had the best (= most useful) response in the thread.

As for any interesting assumptions on the OP's part, they're not exactly outlandish based on what Cart Woman herself said.  Yes, the OP made an assumption, but not an outrageous one, and doesn't need to be beaten over the head with it.  Considering the circumstances, it may have been better (= more useful) for concerned posters to agree that yes, Cart Woman was horribly rude, perhaps sympathize a bit, and then point out, gently, the Assumption.

When one is trying to make a point, the proverb about catching more flies with honey may be helpful.

With that, thread closed.