Etiquette School is in session! > Complete Silence

Unwanted advice from a new doctor.

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After a year at my job, I got health insurance. It is paid for completely by the company. My old OBGYN is not on the plan but I'm okay with it as I have moved and it would have been kind of far to go anyway. I selected a new one, they had an appointment available in the next month, so I went.

He was a very nice man and I will admit he was the quickest and most painless OB I have ever been to. I was only having a checkup. Before we started however, he came into the exam room to give me a "quiet lecture". I knew my BP had been running a bit high, so I was expecting him to voice a concern over it and maybe ask about diet and exercise.

No, the quiet lecture I got is about my weight, all the health risks involved and how I need to have Bypass surgery. This BTW is while I am laying Naked on an exam table under a paper sheet. Then he tells me about a Dr. he knows that does amazing things with Bypass and can get me on a payment plan. Then he gave me his colleague's card. He went on and on about how he knows how hard it is to lose weight and I'm not getting any younger and so on. I was stunned!

I never asked him on advice about my weight, he never asked me If I had been trying to lose weight. He just told me to have by-pass surgery! The man knew nothing about me! I was so hurt and shocked I was silent for a while and only answered direct questions. As fact would have it, I had been making long term changes to improve my health. Making Smarter choices when eating and such.

Luckily, like I said before, the exam itself was quick and painless. Of course that might have been because I was in shock.  :P

I left and have no plans to see that DR again.

Harriet Jones:
I wouldn't go back, either.  While WLS seems to work really well for many, it's a *drastic* lifestyle change and IMO should be a last resort if nothing else is working.  I wonder if that GYN gets a referral bonus from his friend.

Discussing your weight was appropriate if it's causing issues, but pushing WLS went way over the line.

Holy Moly!  Unless he's a specialist EXTREMELY familiar with your medical history, etc., he has no business telling you that you need any sort of surgery.  I wouldn't go back either.

While I don't think that expressing his concern about weight was over the top, pushing surgery goes too far.  There are alot of other options he could have told you about in addition to surgery (such as diet and exercise).  It seems to me that he's just trying to get his collegue some more business.

I wouldn't call the concern about weight unsolicited (because it does concern your health, and he is your doctor), but the push for surgery as an only option is unprofessional imo.  You could tell him that you aren't considering surgery and you'd prefer not to hear about it if you think it's better to stay with him to keep those quick and painless exams.  Otherwise it's time to look for a new doctor.


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