Author Topic: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.  (Read 12755 times)

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PeasNCues

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #30 on: June 10, 2009, 07:08:59 AM »
Weight loss surgery is no more effective than dieting in the long run (5 years later most have regained the weight and are also dealing with side effects from the surgery).  Even if it did work, I bet this doctor is getting a referral bonus.

i have to respectfully disagree again.  It really depends on the person.  Ive lost 33kg in 19 months.  Theres no way on earth i will ever ever put that weight on again.

I think many people think that weight loss surgery is the magic fix - that eventually everything will go back to normal except they will be "skinny." However, as PP have said, weight loss surgery is a huge lifestyle change. Not only that, it's a body change. And these changes must be maintained for the rest of your life for the surgery to be effective. There are weight loss surgery support groups to help each other keep going. I went to one once with my mother - a woman started crying because she had had gastric bypass surgery and she "couldn't eat anything." (she specifically mentioned certain kinds of meats - steaks, etc - that you can't eat for a time after surgery) I wanted to say to her, "Well, honey, what did you think was going to happen?"

That's what I really don't like about this doctor - he is pushing this huge surgery on people he doesn't even know have the capacity to follow through and really make themselves healthy. (Not saying you don't OP, but he doesn't know)
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blue2000

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #31 on: June 10, 2009, 07:17:19 AM »

You may be right  but i will respectfully disagree with you.  Doctors see overweight people and immediatley talk about about weight problems/health issues   but that person didnt necessarily go there to talk about that.  ( Ive seen it written about quite a few times here)
Yet a thinner person wouldnt get the same talk from the doctor.  Doctor sees slim person  and doesnt  think theres a weight/health problem.   Doesnt know that the thin person sits in front of the computer all day eating chocolate biscuits, take away, fried food etc etc


That fat person is me, who is making an effort to walk and excercise everyday and eat decent meals.  The thin person is my brother  who can  go thru 2 packs of choccy biscuits in a day and not put weight on.

I wont moan about the fact he told me on my last visit to him that he's only put about 4kg's on since he was 17. Hes 42 now.  I put on about 50kgs on since i was 17. Have lost about 33kgs so a bit more to go.
I felt like pouring my drink over his keyboard when he told me that   ;D  (but i didnt)

Yet he has more health issues than i do.   Im the one doctors greet as  "hello, youre fat"
 >:(



I do agree with you about weight being a problem in todays society. 

It can be just as bad the other way.

I'm the thin one (well, a little smooshy around the middle, but mostly thin). I hear a lot of "You are sooo lucky! Yo can eat anything you want and not gain weight!"

But I'm the one who can't eat lots of things because of my health problems. That's why I'm thin. I'm the one who couldn't convince my last doctor I needed help because I "look fine". If I was overweight, the doctor would take me seriously when I say I have problems.

Of course, then they would likely tell me all my problems are caused by my weight. Sometimes you can't win. ::)
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

snowball's chance

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #32 on: June 10, 2009, 09:44:09 AM »
Yet a thinner person wouldnt get the same talk from the doctor.  Doctor sees slim person  and doesnt  think theres a weight/health problem.   Doesnt know that the thin person sits in front of the computer all day eating chocolate biscuits, take away, fried food etc etc 

I am within the "normal" weight range for my height, and I do get asked by doctors about (among other things) my diet & exercize habits, and I do get tested for thyroid, cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.  When I was in college (30 pounds ago), I got a lecture from a resident at my college hospital about "Just because you are thin, don't think you don't need to have a healthy diet & exercize!"

ShieldMaiden

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #33 on: June 10, 2009, 09:53:07 AM »
Yet a thinner person wouldnt get the same talk from the doctor.  Doctor sees slim person  and doesnt  think theres a weight/health problem.   Doesnt know that the thin person sits in front of the computer all day eating chocolate biscuits, take away, fried food etc etc 

I am within the "normal" weight range for my height, and I do get asked by doctors about (among other things) my diet & exercize habits, and I do get tested for thyroid, cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.  When I was in college (30 pounds ago), I got a lecture from a resident at my college hospital about "Just because you are thin, don't think you don't need to have a healthy diet & exercize!"

Umm, I'm within my normal weight range and I get a twenty minute question and answer session with my doctor every time I see her.  We go over my diet, my exercise schedule and routine, etc.  I get all the tests bolded above.  I think it's a very interesting assumption that doctor would just assume that a person is healthy because they are thin.  I don't think that's the case at all.  Obviously my doctor is not going to tell me to have WLS, however, she does make sure that I know about living a healthy lifestyle.

Oh, and despite all my exercise and healthy eating habits I have high cholesteral and high blood pressure.  It's inherited, my healthy lifestyle helps to the point where I don't need to be on medication, but I will probably need it eventually.

petal

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #34 on: June 10, 2009, 10:10:06 AM »
Yet a thinner person wouldnt get the same talk from the doctor.  Doctor sees slim person  and doesnt  think theres a weight/health problem.   Doesnt know that the thin person sits in front of the computer all day eating chocolate biscuits, take away, fried food etc etc 

I am within the "normal" weight range for my height, and I do get asked by doctors about (among other things) my diet & exercize habits, and I do get tested for thyroid, cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.  When I was in college (30 pounds ago), I got a lecture from a resident at my college hospital about "Just because you are thin, don't think you don't need to have a healthy diet & exercize!"

Umm, I'm within my normal weight range and I get a twenty minute question and answer session with my doctor every time I see her.  We go over my diet, my exercise schedule and routine, etc.  I get all the tests bolded above.  I think it's a very interesting assumption that doctor would just assume that a person is healthy because they are thin.  I don't think that's the case at all.  Obviously my doctor is not going to tell me to have WLS, however, she does make sure that I know about living a healthy lifestyle.

Oh, and despite all my exercise and healthy eating habits I have high cholesteral and high blood pressure.  It's inherited, my healthy lifestyle helps to the point where I don't need to be on medication, but I will probably need it eventually.


I probabley was assuming a bit



pootbear

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #35 on: June 10, 2009, 01:15:24 PM »
The part of this story that struck me is that it would appear from what the OP wrote, that the doctor walked in and right off the bat started talking about the weight reduction. It's almost as if he'd read her chart and made a decision before opening the door.  My weight over the years has gone from very thin to PDFat. (pretty darn fat). I mention this as I've noticed how my size affects how others talk with me (or rather, talk AT me..).  Sometimes I've thought that if somehow, during a fat phase, if I managed to drag myself into the office with my servered head tucked under my arm, the last words I heard would be the medical people saying " You wouldn't have  this sort of problem if you kept the weight off....."

But the OP's question was "Was this doctor rude and if so, how to handle it?"    That's a tricky question; technically, he was within his range of duties to bring up a possible health issue and a possible solution and as long as he spoke politely, I'd vote it wasn't exactly rude.

But.......  did he make you uncomfortable by bringing it up before he'd examined you and made more of an obvious effort to learn your medical history?  Yes I'd say he did that and also agree with other people that this smacks of him standing to benefit his referrals.

So it boils down to how you wish to handle your partnership with this health care professional. Personally, if I was in your shoes (and actually I HAVE been there) I'd write the doctor.

I'd tell him that how he handled this made you very uncomfortable to the point that you're choosing another OB/GYN. Stress that it's not the 'need to lose weight for health reasons' advice you objected to but that he appears to have made the decision to make an aggressive referral for major and EXPENSIVE to a doctor with whom he appears to have a connection before any exam or medical history discussion.  I'd also add that he gave the impression he was more interested in getting you to this doctor than your OB/GYN exam and you couldn't help but wonder if there was a financial incentive in it for him.

Pick a new doctor and send a copy of your letter to the insurance carrier. IF he is getting a kickback on these referrals, it's the insurance company who'll be footing the bill for the gastric bypass procedures PLUS the complications that can happen.

When I say, I've been in your shoes, I really mean it! I had a staff person do the same thing. When she 1st began, I tried to cut her off with "I've already checked on it and I'm nearly 40 pounds under the minimum overweight amount that my insurance company has set to cover the surgery. She suggested I gain the 40 pounds and when I checked, I found it was her brother in law's practice getting the referral.  I was furious and waited a few days before writing. 

Do make sure to get on blood pressure meds if you need to while you find a health care partner with whom you can work.   PB 




LAT

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #36 on: June 10, 2009, 01:28:28 PM »
Petal, I sincerely hope it works for you and I wish you the best of luck.

This page has a lot of good links about weight loss surgery and commentary on the long term results (apparently, not much has been published... why would that be?)

blue2000

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #37 on: June 10, 2009, 01:29:48 PM »

When I say, I've been in your shoes, I really mean it! I had a staff person do the same thing. When she 1st began, I tried to cut her off with "I've already checked on it and I'm nearly 40 pounds under the minimum overweight amount that my insurance company has set to cover the surgery. She suggested I gain the 40 pounds and when I checked, I found it was her brother in law's practice getting the referral.  I was furious and waited a few days before writing. 

Do make sure to get on blood pressure meds if you need to while you find a health care partner with whom you can work.   PB 


AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

She suggested you gain FORTY POUNDS??  :o

Five I can believe, if you are desperate for the surgery, but no way should you gain forty!! I'd have written a letter too, if I were you!
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Cz. Burrito

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #38 on: June 10, 2009, 03:38:53 PM »
Yet a thinner person wouldnt get the same talk from the doctor.  Doctor sees slim person  and doesnt  think theres a weight/health problem.   Doesnt know that the thin person sits in front of the computer all day eating chocolate biscuits, take away, fried food etc etc 

I am within the "normal" weight range for my height, and I do get asked by doctors about (among other things) my diet & exercize habits, and I do get tested for thyroid, cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.  When I was in college (30 pounds ago), I got a lecture from a resident at my college hospital about "Just because you are thin, don't think you don't need to have a healthy diet & exercize!"

Conversely, I've encountered doctors who are practically phobic about mentioning weight.  My blood pressure once measured rather high considering that I'm in my 20s, and I was 45 lbs overweight at the time.  The doctor mentioned all sorts of things that I could do to ameliorate the problem, including going on blood pressure medication at the age of 26, but said not a single word about my weight.  I finally asked her point blank if losing weight would help.  She immediately responded "Oh, yes!  Losing as little as 10 lbs would make a huge difference!"

I just don't get it.  There has to be a nice middle ground between the OP's experience and my own.   :P

Phoebe

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #39 on: June 10, 2009, 05:49:58 PM »
The part of this story that struck me is that it would appear from what the OP wrote, that the doctor walked in and right off the bat started talking about the weight reduction. It's almost as if he'd read her chart and made a decision before opening the door.  My weight over the years has gone from very thin to PDFat. (pretty darn fat). I mention this as I've noticed how my size affects how others talk with me (or rather, talk AT me..).  Sometimes I've thought that if somehow, during a fat phase, if I managed to drag myself into the office with my servered head tucked under my arm, the last words I heard would be the medical people saying " You wouldn't have  this sort of problem if you kept the weight off....."

But the OP's question was "Was this doctor rude and if so, how to handle it?"    That's a tricky question; technically, he was within his range of duties to bring up a possible health issue and a possible solution and as long as he spoke politely, I'd vote it wasn't exactly rude.

But.......  did he make you uncomfortable by bringing it up before he'd examined you and made more of an obvious effort to learn your medical history?  Yes I'd say he did that and also agree with other people that this smacks of him standing to benefit his referrals.

So it boils down to how you wish to handle your partnership with this health care professional. Personally, if I was in your shoes (and actually I HAVE been there) I'd write the doctor.

I'd tell him that how he handled this made you very uncomfortable to the point that you're choosing another OB/GYN. Stress that it's not the 'need to lose weight for health reasons' advice you objected to but that he appears to have made the decision to make an aggressive referral for major and EXPENSIVE to a doctor with whom he appears to have a connection before any exam or medical history discussion.  I'd also add that he gave the impression he was more interested in getting you to this doctor than your OB/GYN exam and you couldn't help but wonder if there was a financial incentive in it for him.

Pick a new doctor and send a copy of your letter to the insurance carrier. IF he is getting a kickback on these referrals, it's the insurance company who'll be footing the bill for the gastric bypass procedures PLUS the complications that can happen.

When I say, I've been in your shoes, I really mean it! I had a staff person do the same thing. When she 1st began, I tried to cut her off with "I've already checked on it and I'm nearly 40 pounds under the minimum overweight amount that my insurance company has set to cover the surgery. She suggested I gain the 40 pounds and when I checked, I found it was her brother in law's practice getting the referral.  I was furious and waited a few days before writing. 

Do make sure to get on blood pressure meds if you need to while you find a health care partner with whom you can work.   PB 


This contains everything I wanted to say  8)

HonorH

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #40 on: June 11, 2009, 01:23:29 AM »
My sister had a fun experience with a doctor some time back.  She'd gone to see an ear, nose & throat specialist because of an ear infection, I think--details are fuzzy at this point.  So, he does an exam, makes his diagnosis, writes a prescription--and then sits back and asks her if she wants to talk about rhinoplasty (a nose job)!  My sister has a big nose, something that really bothered her when she was younger, but she made peace with as an adult.  For this doctor to just make an assumption that obviously, she wants plastic surgery, because who'd want to be stuck with that honker, made her feel like a teenager being teased about her looks again.  As I recall, she handed him an EHell-approved phrase: "Why would I want to do that?"
William wondered why he always disliked people who said "no offense meant." Maybe it was because they found it easier to say "no offense meant" than actually to refrain from giving offense.

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supernova

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #41 on: June 12, 2009, 05:44:07 AM »
Although I suspected this thread was going to be about weight loss before I even opened it, I'm still shocked that a doctor would recommend WLS to someone he has never examined nor spoken to before.

I agree that something here is hinky, and that you should write a (calm and reasonable) letter and cc: the AMA. 

Wow. 

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cocacola35

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #42 on: June 15, 2009, 02:50:51 PM »
OP I think your silence was completey appropriate here.  Next as people suggested, write the doctor a letter explaining why his surgery advice made you uncomfortable and as a result you willl be going to another OB/GYN.  Because if you don't, he is just going to carry on and not know why he is offending people.  Even doctors can be pretty clueless sometimes.  I also have suspicions that he made a deal with this college to get referrals.  What really jumped out at me was how he was saying "how hard it is to lose weight and you aren't getting any younger, so surgery is the way to go."  He has only seen you ONCE and he assumes you will not be willing to try anything else??  Completely unethical and innappropriate. 

On the idea that doctors assume thin people are healthy: I am thin and every time I visit my doctor she asks about my diet and exercise habits.  Even if you are not overweight, you can still have health problems that come from an unhealthy lifestyle such as a high BP, thyroid disease, mineral/vitamin deficiancy from a crappy diet, etc.  I think this is standard procedure to ask everyone these questions and any doctor that does not ask because they assume thin people are healthy is not a good doctor. 

TurtleDove

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #43 on: June 15, 2009, 02:57:20 PM »
My sister had a fun experience with a doctor some time back.  She'd gone to see an ear, nose & throat specialist because of an ear infection, I think--details are fuzzy at this point.  So, he does an exam, makes his diagnosis, writes a prescription--and then sits back and asks her if she wants to talk about rhinoplasty (a nose job)!  My sister has a big nose, something that really bothered her when she was younger, but she made peace with as an adult.  For this doctor to just make an assumption that obviously, she wants plastic surgery, because who'd want to be stuck with that honker, made her feel like a teenager being teased about her looks again.  As I recall, she handed him an EHell-approved phrase: "Why would I want to do that?"

I was not party to the conversation your sister had with her doctor, but my father was recommended for rhinoplasty to address his sinus issues, which also affect throat and ears.  He had it and his issues improved greatly.  From what I understand, this is fairly common.  I don't know that it is safe to assume the doctor's suggestion was purely cosmetic.

jaguarundi

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Re: Unwanted advice from a new doctor.
« Reply #44 on: June 16, 2009, 02:26:28 PM »
Quote
I get a twenty minute question and answer session with my doctor every time I see her

Wow, where do you live, who is your Dr, and how can I get in?! I think 5 minutes is the longest I can get any provider, of any specialty (PCP included) to sit still with me--and that's usually after making me wait 20 minutes past my appt time. And then, of course, they act like they know everything there is to know about me (they don't) within that time. My fave was my last visit w/a Dr I've been seeing for years; he asked me how my smoking problem was coming along. I said, "What smoking problem?" He said, "You know, the last time you were here, you mentioned that you smoked." I said, "I've never smoked in my life." And STILL he tried to insist that it was ME who was mistaken before finally shrugging and saying, "Well, shows what I know." Well, THAT'S comforting, Doc.

I also had a P.A. slam my file down on the countertop and stomp out of the room when she realized our appt would take 5 extra minutes due to a scheduling snafu on her office's part.

Sorry for the digression...

As for the OP - yeah, your Doc was way out of line to suggest surgery, especially since a) he doesn't even know you or your history; and b) he's an OBGYN, not a weight loss surgeon! It's one thing to express concern over your weight, and another to toss your colleague a bone, which is what it sounds like he was doing.