Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

When you want to treat-Update

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This situation is one I've wondered if I handled right:

Earlier this year, a cousin and I took my great-aunt to dinner. 

My aunt insisted on paying, but she was our "guest." We insisted on paying her share, but she tried to argue with us and put money on the table.  I finally let her use her money for the tip-again, only because she insisted and refused to let it go.

I truly wanted to be the one to treat my aunt, but at the same time I didn't want to start an argument with her.

My aunt wants to go to dinner with us again, so I'd like to know of ways to deflect her offers (really demands) to pay.

Tell her dinner is your treat, but expect that she'll try to pay.  You can tell her, when she does, that dinner is on you but that she can leave the tip if she wants to.  She probably has a "thing" about people paying for her.  Sometimes it's hard to accept the generosity of others, but if you allow her to leave the tip, she'll probably be fine with it.

If you find an effective way to deal with this, I'd love to know it. My Mom can get downright nasty about insisting on paying, to the point where I've warned people not to argue with her. If she pulls out her wallet she WILL pay, even if she has to stuff cash in your pocket that you find five years from now.

My dad has been visiting the past week.  It's great having him here, but he's always giving money to my dd!

Fortunately, he leaves his wallet on the table.  He gives her money, and when he's not looking, she puts it back in his wallet.   :)

Too bad there isn't a way to do something like this for those who absolutely insist on paying no matter what.


--- Quote from: guihong on April 30, 2007, 04:48:43 AM ---Next time you go out, plead "having to use the restroom" and find your server.  Ask them if you can pay right then, and not have a bill brought to the table.  Hopefully, your guest won't notice.  If your great-aunt notices anyway and tries to leave money, have her pick up the tip.  For some people, being treated brings up "dependence" issues.


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