What should I do?

[mumma to KMC]

Well I am pretty sure what I plan on doing, but I wanted to make sure that in Ehell world, this would be okay. If not, please let me know!! (Flame away!)

This past Friday night, we had our office Christmas Party (support staff only, no Dr's or therapists). We had the usual White Elephant exchange and our gift exchange. It was an okay deal, held at my boss' house, very low key, pizza, soda, some "hard" drinks and of course desserts. It was actually nicer then previous years. (Except for the White Elephant thing, each year it gets raunchier and raunchier, I am glad this will be my last year at this job.)

Before we did the regular gift exchange, one of my coworkers said to the bosses (we have two of  them, one directly over us and the Practice Manager.) we have a gift for you. When they opened the gift, it was (they both got the same thing) a gift card thing for about 5 or more places at the mall. There was also a card for the both of them, with names signed.

I never heard about any of this. Not one word about giving them a gift.  Now I had seen people hand this coworker money during the party and knew something was up. I didn't want to say anything because, I feel it is really tacky to get your boss a gift (am I right on this one?), so I didn't say anything. However, part of me wonders if my name was signed on the card. If it was, I feel obligated to contribute. However, if it wasn't, well heck no, I am not going to give a cent. But the crux (is that the word?) of the matter is I was never told about this. Granted I work from 4-9 in the evening, mostly on my own, however, I do see my coworkers AND actually work with them for 2 hours each day.

To add another twist, this is my last week. I go on "permanent maternity leave" beginning Friday. I am not worried about my future with this office as I will not go back. I would work in fast food** or something perhaps less legal then go back to that jr high place.

So, when I head in today, should I pretend that nothing happened in terms of getting a gift for the bosses?

Thanks for listening!

**And I mean no offense to those who work in fast food. I have a very low tolerance for rudeness and I am sure I would tell of a patron before the end of my first shift...!

[dawbs]

You should have been told about the gift and the collection being taken and given the option (without pressure) to contribute.
But it's possible that, since they knew you were leaving, they were trying to spare the headache that such things tend to be.

I personally would pretend nothing happened.  (if it comes up, then you can ask if someone signed the card for you, etc)

[Chocolate Cake]

It's not your responsibility to read someone's mind and figure out what's going on.  If the coordinators of the gift didn't bother to clue you in and/or ask you for a donation at any time during the planning process, you're off the hook -- even if they put your name on the card (which I would bet they didn't).   If they come to you now, after the fact, do whatever you would like.   

If it were me, I'd probably say that I hadn't planned on participating and, so sorry, they should have cleared it with you first before signing your name to the card.

[sammycat]

I wouldn't worry about it at all.  If they sign you up for a gift that you weren't even aware of and then ask for payment, well, that's tough luck on their part (and rude).  If someone does ask for money, tell you'll give it to them next week. Oh wait, you won't be there next week....

[mumma to KMC]

When I went to work today, nothing was said about it. Oh well. This great communication is yet another reason that I am not sorry about leaving!

[Hawkwatcher]

When I went to work today, nothing was said about it. Oh well. This great communication is yet another reason that I am not sorry about leaving!

I had something similar happen to me several years ago.  I was part of a group of six people who worked under one supervisor.  Without making any effort to include me, five of these people decided to buy the supervisor a card and a gift and to give him both the next day.  I had no idea what was going on until they presented both the card and gift on the last day of our project.  Of course, this was uncomfortable for me because I was the only one who had not contributed to the gift.  Apparently, they had signed my name to the card, so that he would think I contributed to the gift.  I offered to help pay for the gift later but coworkers would not accept my money.

In your case, I do not think that you needed to contribute to the gifts even if they did sign your name to the cards.  I think that if they were not going to include people in the gift giving, they should have given the gifts privately.

[sammycat]

.  I think that if they were not going to include people in the gift giving, they should have given the gifts privately.
[/quote]\

Good point.

[IndianInlaw]

I posted about this on the regular E-Hell site.

Some coworkers were collecting money to buy our supervisor a crockpot for Christmas (man, that would make a great Hallmark Hall of Fame title).  I thought it was an inappropriate gift, so I declined.  One new girl couldn't even afford to buy her mother a gift, but she felt obligated to chip in.

Anyways, they passed around a card for all (donors and non donors) to sign.  They purposely skipped me, as I was in the office as they were passing it around.  I even asked, but was told so and so was going to sign it next.

One of my coworkers tipped off the supervisor.


That went well.

[Slartibartfast]

Perhaps this was a gift from a subset of the coworkers, instead of from the office as a whole?  I'm not big into the giving-the-boss-a-present thing, but if four of my co-workers quilted and wanted to quilt a table runner for the boss, it wouldn't bother me because the gift wouldn't be expected to include me.

Maybe that's not the case and they were all just clueless, but at least they can have the benefit of the doubt - seeing as you won't be working there anymore and all :-)