Smoking- Part 1 million

[NOVA Lady]

OK I know smoking had been addressed here pretty much ad- nasueum but Sunday's incident just makes me want to shake someone!

I am a smoker as is my SO and the friends we went to watch the football game with Sunday afternoon. In Virginia there are still bars you can smoke in an we were in fact sitting in an Irish Pub watching the game and smoking. During the 2nd quarter of the game a couple with a few kids came and took a seat a table across from us. While they were sitting down we were smoking and they saw this because I saw mom wrinkle up her nose.

However, since we were in a place that allowed it, and since it was a BAR (I personally don't believe children belong in bars) I really didn't feel like I should have to accomdate her. About 30 minutes after they sat down we all decided to have another cigeraten and lit up. The husband got up and asked us to please put out our cigerettes because of the children. Although he asked politely (well at least wasn't screaming or irrate) my SO said, "No, I am afraid we wont do that." and repeated it a few times.

The man seemed to accept it. However, for the rest of the game whenever anyone lit a cigerette they would sigh loudly and dramtically and roll their eyes and clearly wisper about us amongst themselves, fain looks of disgust, and otherwise try to shame us. The problem: None of us felt shames.

1. We were there first! They could have picked a different seat because they noticed us smoking before they sat. They could have moved if they realized it bothered them.

2. Kids don't belong in bars! Its smoking, its LOUD during the football game, and people are drunk, Its not safe for a small child and in fact they aren't really allowed in this particular bar unless its brunch (which it was, these people chose to wander upstairs to the smokey football game and eat there).

3. There was a non-smoking option they didn't chose to take.


I have had a lot more extreme examples of non-smokers being rude to smokers. It just aggrivates me. I would never smoke in a non-smoking area, why would a non-smoker expect me to refrain from smoking in a smoking area? Do some non-smokers think the non-smoking section follows them around or something?

Ahhh good to get that off my chest.

[ShadesOfGrey]

I would never smoke in a non-smoking area, why would a non-smoker expect me to refrain from smoking in a smoking area? Do some non-smokers think the non-smoking section follows them around or something?

While I personally actively avoid being in places that allow smoking, I understand...wait, no I dont - that's just the point!! I avoid places that allow smoking since I dont like smoke.  This couple should have done the same. Plain and simple. 

Here's a random memory (not a commentary on  your post) - I once had to take my grandmother, who was on oxygen at the time, to another restaurant because her favorite restaurant (which was a non-smoking environment) allowed a patron to light up in a separate section.  I was more than a little shocked...

[Clara Bow]

I live in Florida and in Florida smokers are not allowed to light up on earth. I'm a smoker. I get a little peeved when I'm outdoors in an open area where somking is permitted and some prude walks by and looks at me as though I'm touching myself or something.
I did vote for the somking ban though. There's no way all the smoke in a restraunt will stay in the smoking area and I don't like smoke while I'm having a meal. But a bar? That's a whole different setup.
If you don't like smoking, stay away from places that allow it. And when people are doing something legal that doesn't involve you, STAY OUT OF IT!!

[TZ]

Those people were way out of line.  It's fairly easy to avoid places that allow smoking, and I'm sure it's not the only brunch place in town.  If you don't want your kids exposed, take them elsewhere.  It was one thing when smoking was allowed in restaurants, as smoke does tend to carry, but I totally agree that children and bars don't mix!  Also, good for SO standing up for you. 

[Hawkwatcher]

I am a smoker as is my SO and the friends we went to watch the football game with Sunday afternoon. In Virginia there are still bars you can smoke in an we were in fact sitting in an Irish Pub watching the game and smoking. During the 2nd quarter of the game a couple with a few kids came and took a seat a table across from us. While they were sitting down we were smoking and they saw this because I saw mom wrinkle up her nose.

However, since we were in a place that allowed it, and since it was a BAR (I personally don't believe children belong in bars) I really didn't feel like I should have to accomdate her. About 30 minutes after they sat down we all decided to have another cigeraten and lit up. The husband got up and asked us to please put out our cigerettes because of the children. Although he asked politely (well at least wasn't screaming or irrate) my SO said, "No, I am afraid we wont do that." and repeated it a few times.

The man seemed to accept it. However, for the rest of the game whenever anyone lit a cigerette they would sigh loudly and dramtically and roll their eyes and clearly wisper about us amongst themselves, fain looks of disgust, and otherwise try to shame us. The problem: None of us felt shames.

These parents should be happy that you were too polite to have a conversation about what type of idiots bring their children to bars.  Seriously, I agree that you had nothing to feel ashamed of and if the smoking was really a problem, they could have returned downstairs to eat their meals.

[jibby]

So if I understand correctly, you were supposed to feel shamed by people who bring children into a smoke-filled bar?

I'm only basing this on my personal experience in sports bars during football games, but children do not belong anywhere near a crowd of large, intoxicated, rowdy guys (or gals). 

I'm a non-smoker, but if I want the best beer specials, fan environment, etc.,  while I watch The Game, I deal with the smoking, sans drama.  Your SO handled the silly question(s) with much class.

[Ki]

Silly people!  I'm a nonsmoker, and I know that when I go to a bar or bowling alley, etc., the air will be smoky.  If I want or need to avoid smoke, I don't go to those places, and I know I can request a nonsmoking section at a restaurant.  When I have kids, I certainly won't be taking them to bars!  It's their responsibility as parents to minimize smoke exposure if they're worried about it, not the responsibility of the bar's patrons.  Good on you for ignoring the idiots.

[MrsP81]

Sounds like those parent's weren't too bright. I wouldn't bring my kids into a smoke filled bar and then expect other people to put out their cigarettes (and I'm a non smoker).

[HogwartsAlum]

Geez, why do people think the entire world should accomodate them wherever they go?  Just because they have chiiiiiiillllldreeeennnnnnn!!!

You did the right thing.  

[NOVA Lady]

Thank you all for your replies.

What really did get me was the kids. Give them a chance, ya know! I see people smoking in their cars with their windows up and kids in the back and I want to smack the parents.

As for these parents.... I hate that they were so passive agressive. They didn't get psycho like christmas tree lady, but they were just SOOO darned obvious with their disgust of us. I don't approve of everything people do in public but if I am disgusted about something someone is allowed to do and I cannot stop then I just go away from them.

[gjcva1]

gotta love the members of the nanny state.  there's a non-smoking section available for me to take my children to eat?  oh no!  nononono, that simply won't do!  i must sit myself and my innocent children in a stinky smokey bar filled with cheering football fans who are also drinking in front of my children, so i can shoot them looks of death at every opportunity....

i don't smoke in non-smoking areas.  so please don't tell me i can't smoke in the few smoking sections still around....

[Lunadiana75]

What's next?  Going into a night club and complaining the music is too loud?

Or how about complaining about all the kids at Chuckee Cheese.

Oh I know!  I'll go into an Ivar's and complain it smells too "fishy".  

Then I'll go into an adult bookstore and complain about all the dirty books.  

And just to round the whole day off, I'll stop at a vegetarian restaurant and complain because they don't have steak on the menu.  

[Pixie]

I live in an area where smoking is not even allowed in bars, I have accepted that.  However, if I am in an area where smoking is allowed, and it is posted, and people KNOW BEFORE ENTERING that there will be smoke.    I smoke, its still legal in some areas.    Very few, but some.

One thing that really irks me though is cigarette butts on the ground. I do not litter, and smokers do not HAVE to litter. But it would be nice if there were more places to put our smoking trash.   Oh, and those people who put trash in ashtrays instead of the trashcan next to it..... rude.

Just my pixie opinion.

[gjcva1]

Just my pixie opinion.

and an excellent opinion it was! 

[cocacola35]

What's next?  Going into a night club and complaining the music is too loud?

Or how about complaining about all the kids at Chuckee Cheese.

Oh I know!  I'll go into an Ivar's and complain it smells too "fishy".  

Then I'll go into an adult bookstore and complain about all the dirty books.  

And just to round the whole day off, I'll stop at a vegetarian restaurant and complain because they don't have steak on the menu.  

Hehe!  That's the hardest I've laughed today!  Thanks!

I HATE cigarette smoke.  I have asthma and it really makes me sick if I'm exposed to it for long periods of time.  There is a kareoke bar that I love, but it isn't ventilated very well and you can smell like cigarettes for about two days on your clothes afterwards.  However, I don't expect them to accomadate to me and force smokers to put out their cigs when I'm there.  I know that when I walk in, there will be smoking and I will be entering at my own risk.  Anyone that expects otherwise is delusional.