Choir concert etiquette

[jane7166]

DH, DD and I went to DD's old high school "Alumni" choir concert.  DD has been out of  high schoo for a few years and we haven't attended this particular concert in quite a while.

I was amazed that they sang all sorts of religious and Christmas-like pieces, given that other schools in the area have been spanked for doing such, but I really don't care about that.

What amused me was that the choir director greeted the audience at the start of the show and then read off a list of concert rules (can't remember what he called them) and I am paraphrasing what he read:

1.  Put your cell phone on vibrate.
2.  If your cell phone does vibrate, wait until the end of the piece and then leave to take the call.
3.  If you feel the need to leave the auditorium, wait until the end of the piece being sung and then leave and please be sure to close the doors quietly as they slam quite loudly.
4.  Applause is invited and appreciated but do not hoot and hollow and scream out individual choir members names as that is very distracting to the choir.
5.  Please do not applaud until the choir director's hands fall to his side.

Wow.  Just wow.  I applaud him for doing it, I just wonder why he felt the need to.  This is supposedly an upscale high school with educated parents.  Uh huh.  I know the guy from when DD was in school and he's a pretty laid back guy. 

It just indicates to me the sad state of affairs of etiquette in general.   

[audhs]

It's sad that they need to spell out all these rules.  They all seem like perfectly reasonable common sense to me.
But as we see here common sense isn't really all that common. 

[freakyfemme]

When I was in the high school band, our teacher/director had to write "Please do not bring children who are too young to remain quiet and absorbed by the performance."  Now, you'll notice that she didn't specify an age.....because, depending on the child, "too young" could be eight months old, or eight YEARS old.  I appreciated that she did this, because "concert etiquette" rules apply to student performances as much as professional ones, if not more so (considering the fact that many students are nervous, and more likely to make mistakes if they're distracted......I sure wouldn't want to be in the middle of a complicated Weber cadenza and hear someone's brat child screaming, or their cell phone go off), but at the same time, I figured it was common sense......apparently, some people don't, though, so it had to have been said.  I think it's sort of in the same vein as "Cape does not enable wearer to fly" written on the package for a Superman or Batman costume, lol.

Edited to add:  Normally, I like children just fine......just not ill-behaved ones.  Also, just so I don't ruffle any feathers like I did in the summer, I don't think my ability to play complicated Weber cadenzas (or anything of the same level) makes me better than anyone else.  For all I know, the people in the audience might backflip to their cars after the performance, drive home, and do quadratic equations for a few hours, and I can't do ANY of that stuff (gymnastics, driving, and math).  Bonus points if they can do it while talking on their cell phones.

Edited AGAIN to add: I'm also well aware that it's possible for a normally well-behaved child to become ill or cranky or whatever during an inopportune moment, such as church, a movie theatre, or a live performance of some sort, and then everyone automatically labels them as "brats" and the parents as "incompetent," which isn't fair.  Also, I admit that I accidentally left my cell phone on at one of Kingpiano and Queensoprano's concerts at school once......and I was so enraptured by the music, I didn't even *realize* that it was my phone.  Kingpiano gave me the most evil, soul-withering look as they walked offstage.....now I always make sure, lol.

[Linda1967]

Hi, Jane -

I could have posted many of those rules for high school and college commencement ceremonies. I'm a university public relations representative, and this past weekend I helped with one of the three fall commencement ceremonies we had on one day. My colleagues worked the other two.

When we asked each other today about the ceremonies we were assigned to work, we were appalled at the lack of manners shown at the ceremony. One of my co-workers and me both said that the noise during the ceremony from some of the cheering family members, whistles, airhorns being blown, etc., as some students walked across the stage was so loud that you couldn't hear the announcer call the next student's name. I felt sorry for the family members of the poor students whose names were drowned out by noise from the family of the students who graduated just before they did.

So my rules for commencement ceremonies are:

1. Use some decorum when you are cheering for your family member - do not scream, blow airhornes, whistle, or be loud enough that the next student's name cannot be heard. Please limit your cheering and applause so the next student has his or her time in the spotlight.

2. Do not call out to your student, whistle at him or her, wave, etc., when someone is on the podium and is speaking. It is terribly rude to interrupt the university president, the deans, the featured graduation speakers, the student who is singing the National Anthem, etc.

3. Many commencement ceremonies are very long, and if your student is graduating from a university that has more than 32,000 students, do not complain about the length of the ceremony. It's probably a good idea to get a babysitter for your infant or toddler instead of bringing him or her to a ceremony that he or she cannot understand, and is two and a half hours long -too long for most infants and toddlers to sit through without fussing.

4. If, however, you do bring said infants or toddlers to the ceremony and they start fussing, take them outside right away so their crying will not interrupt the speakers. Do not walk them around the bleachers (my college's commencement ceremonies are in a basketball arena) - particularly the bleachers that are directly behind the podium and are in full view of those on the floor who are watching the ceremony and the cameras taping the ceremony.

5. Put your cell phone on vibrate, and if it vibrates, step outside to take the call. Your voice carries to those around you, and not every person waiting to watch his or her student graduate appreciates hearing your conversation.

6. It's a graduation ceremony, which should be a special occasion. Dress accordingly! That means no jeans, T-shirts, shorts and flip flops - even if your student graduates in August and it's 100 degrees outside (my college has ceremonies in May, August and December). If you student graduates in December, you can't use the "it's too hot" excuse to look like a slob.

 

 

[Chocolate Cake]

I just wonder why he felt the need to.

People in the audience must have done the opposite of each of those rules during past concerts.

There was a time when people knew how to behave -- one doesn't open the auditorium doors to go in or out during a piece, etc.

I remember one of my oldest son's concerts when he was pre-k.   The audience talked through every number, people screamed "WHO OOOOO" and "YEAH!" after every number, etc.    It was so incredibly irritating.

I applaud that director for telling people what used to be just common sense behavior.

[freakyfemme]

I just wonder why he felt the need to.

People in the audience must have done the opposite of each of those rules during past concerts.

There was a time when people knew how to behave -- one doesn't open the auditorium doors to go in or out during a piece, etc.

I remember one of my oldest son's concerts when he was pre-k.   The audience talked through every number, people screamed "WHO OOOOO" and "YEAH!" after every number, etc.    It was so incredibly irritating.

I applaud that director for telling people what used to be just common sense behavior.

I think part of the problem is, people think that "being a supportive parent" at Dyllaighn's hockey game, and doing so at Tziphaknee's choir concert, are the same thing.  So, since shouts of "WHO OOOOOO!!!!!" and "YEAH!!!!"; and "GO, DYLLAIGHN!!!!"; are welcomed at the hockey rink, it's only logical that they'd be appropriate at a choir concert as well, right?

[ShadesOfGrey]

could he have had the emcee or other administrative professional make the announcement? I generally think that that is more appropriate than the conductor him/herself.  It makes it more of a 'this is appropriate conduct during this time' speech than 'making the director have to comment on people's behavior' (ie biased) speech. 

That being said, I assume they have encountered these problems before and that is why they chose to address them specifically. 

[Pixie]

I think some of the rudest conduct has been some Civilian-meets-military events.   In our former town there was an Air Force Appreciation Day held every year at a city park and an Air Show held every year on the Air Force Base.    At Appreciation Day in town I witnessed many people yakking away on their cell phones, kissing, and just generally ignoring the playing of our National Anthem.   Quite a slap in the face to the military they were claiming to appreciate.

During an Air Show one year there was an accident with the Thunder-Birds performance and a pilot ejected before the plane crashed.   Active duty Military and family members had to move (physically, sometimes by force) civilians so the ambulance could get through the crowd to the pilot.  The next week's paper ran several "Letters to the editor" complaining of civilians being treated rudely by Military personnel, some along the lines of, "I can't believe they made us move for an ambulance and we couldn't see if the pilot was killed." 

You'd think people would know better than that, but no.... some don't.  Trust me, I know most civilians are wonderful people, I used to be one myself, and almost my whole family are civilians.... but rude is rude.

[blarg314]

It's also an educational process for the audience.

In my parents' town they recently got a decent theatre, as in big enough and good enough to bring in things like ballet and symphony performances.  Right from the beginning they have worked really hard on educating the audience in proper theatre etiquette - no cell phones, no infants, don't clap between movements, no noisy candies or gum, if you're sick and coughing don't come.

I think it helps, as there are a lot of people who haven't had the exposure to things other than movies, sports games and rock concerts, where the rules of behaviour are very different.  For school performances it spells it out for the kids, as some of them won't have been taught by their parents.

When I had symphony seasons tickets I got them for weekdays, as there were fewer of what my friends and I called 'barbarians'. My theory was that the weekend concerts tended to get more people who were out for an evening or on a date, while the weekdays tended to get more serious music people.

[sammycat]

Did everyone comply with these rules?  I hope so and good on the person making the announcement; it's just a shame that it was needed in the first place. At my childrens awards assembly last week a mobile phone went off just as the first name was called so an announcement was made to please turtn off all mobile phones.  5 minutes later that exact same phone went off.  The principal was on stage at the time and did not look impressed.

[sammycat]

DYLLAIGHN!!!!";

Completely OT but I LOVE the spelling  - I hope it's one you made up and not one you've actually seen somewhere.  I recently saw a birth announcement for a Ryah-lee, which I presume is Riley/Ryley.

[freakyfemme]

don't clap between movements

Well.....surprisingly, Freakyfemme The Music Snob is willing to forgive this.  Why?  Because almost every piece I've ever played (with the possible exception of the Saint-Saens Sonata for Clarinet and Piano, which I played in first year, and *maybe* the Hindemith Sonata I played last year), consists of a really big, splashy first movement that's more virtuosic than the others, one or two more "lyrical" inner movements (think Adagio or Allegretto--they're nothing to sneeze at interpretation-wise, but they're still not as technically difficult, and therefore they aren't as impressive), and then a pretty Rondo movement to finish it off, which is still less difficult than the first movement, because there's so much repetition involved.  So, often, it's tempting for people to want to applaud after the first movement, because that's almost always the real "crowd-pleaser" movement, and sometimes I appreciate it, because first movements are always nerve-wracking.  So, if someone forgets themselves and claps after the first movement, I don't think, "what an uncultured boor," I think "hey cool, looks like my fingers are co-operating with me," lol.  If they clap after a middle movement, I think "hey, that means I have good interpretation."  So, I'd rather play for an audience full of "unsophisticated" between-movement applauders than one full of "cultured" individuals who cough, sneeze, sneer, talk on their cell phones or to one another, or leave mid-performance.  

By the way.....that brings me to another "rule."  If you're going to a shared recital (as in, one person does the first half, then the second person does the second half after intermission), then please, either go to the whole thing, or skip it altogether.  This isn't *as* important in the case of a professional concert that's well-attended, where you won't be missed, but for a student concert, it's sort of an "empathy" thing, or at least it is from my point of view, since I've been on the other side of that stage many, MANY times, but I can see how non-music people might not see it that way.  I didn't have this problem last year (i.e. the "mass exodus at intermission" problem), since I did a full recital (well, almost full, it was about 45 minutes), but I felt really badly for my friends who did.  It must be so disconcerting to get all psyched up for a solo recital, especially if it's your first, only to have half the audience clear out after your "recital buddy" finishes performing.  Unfortunately, that happened to Princess Flutezilla, and the offenders were, surprisingly, the Rez Gods.  They came to see the girl who was playing in the first half, and it was unfortunate for them, since Princess Flutezilla is one *hell* of a musician, and she'd prepared an awesome second half.  But, they mentioned Other Girl a week or two ago, which gave me a chance to gently advise them that, in the event that they wish to attend another student's shared recital (Other Girl will either be doing a full one this year, or not at all), then they should really stay for both halves.  

[freakyfemme]

DYLLAIGHN!!!!";

Completely OT but I LOVE the spelling  - I hope it's one you made up and not one you've actually seen somewhere.  I recently saw a birth announcement for a Ryah-lee, which I presume is Riley/Ryley.

Nope, I made it up......it's sort of in the same vein as "villain," but the I, the G, and the H are silent.

[Cyndi]

And some advice to the CHOIR would be:

Keep your head up during a solo. Don't follow in your music, you look disinterested. This happened at my Requiem concert and our director was not pleased with the people who did it.

Don't close your music when your singing part is done. The song is not done until the director lowers his hands. My choir's cantor often leaves the podium after a responsorial, but before the music has stopped and I grit my teeth. If Pro doesn't say something soon, I might.

Don't pick at your face or clothes during a song. It breaks the illusion of perfection.

If you make a mistake, DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU ATE A LEMON! - to self....I'm terrible about this and trying to break the habit. Sadly it seems as involuntary as my leg kicking when the doctor taps it with his hammer.

Don't chew gum during a performance!

Don't talk to your neighbor between songs unless it is a life/death emergency.


My choir is full of ADULTS and the above happens(except for the gum) at every concert or Mass......IRRITATING...

Sorry, rant over

[P_Cloud]

As far as not clapping between movements - I have found this really interesting over the years of being a musician and also an audience member. I think it has alot more to do with the conductor than the audience's knowledge. I have been to high school band concerts where most of the parents and family in the audience probably think Beethoven really is a St. Bernard where there was no clapping between movements. Recently I attended a Detroit Symphony Orchestra concert that had applause after every single movement in both of the pieces they performed. The high school conductor kept his arm up where it was visible to the audience and they could tell by his intensity that it was not the end. The DSO conductor..not so much. I know this is not always the case, and some audiences are either rude or just do not know any better. And as Freakyfemme said, sometimes a performer would much rather receive sincere applause at the wrong time than other rudeness!

On a lighter note, my mom attended my old high school's winter choral concert a few weeks ago and just as the last number finished there was a knock down - drag out fight between 2 highschool girls AND both of their mothers. It took several grown men to separate them and it made the news! Talk about bad concert etiquette.