Author Topic: But what if they know it's possible?  (Read 9056 times)

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Sock Puppet

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But what if they know it's possible?
« on: June 24, 2009, 05:24:06 AM »
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« Last Edit: August 05, 2012, 09:33:55 PM by Frozen Lulupop »

Stormtreader

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2009, 05:30:34 AM »
Just because you're not spending all your time at bigevent doesn't mean everyone now knows you have 'free time' for them to fill.
Just keep repeating that its not possible and DO NOT BUDGE. Its better to have half an hour of them bugging you while you stand firm, than to have whole days stuck with them. Its the dentist theory - suffer the small pain now to avoid the big pain later. If you cave now, they know that next time, bugging you until you say yes will get the result they want.

kckgirl

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2009, 05:38:44 AM »
If you plan to do whatever you want when the mood strikes, you have plans. You absolutely do not have to explain what your plans are, and it really doesn't matter what you've done in the past. If the former best friend is trying to invite herself along and you don't want her to go with you, just say it won't be possible. If you're on the phone and she continues to bug you about it, you don't have to stay on the phone. There is a way to end a call without the other person's permission. You simply hang up. If she's there in person, just leave. Planning to sit in the park and read is a real plan. Planning to go shopping is a real plan. Planning to escape FBF is a real plan. You Have Plans!
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caranfin

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2009, 08:43:04 AM »
"I'm going to pass, but thanks for asking."

"Oh, you know I don't like to plan my vacation time. If I'm in the mood for X I'll call you, but you shouldn't really count on me for anything."
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

ShadesOfGrey

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2009, 08:47:58 AM »
"But what if they know it's possible?"

They shouldnt presume to speak for your time.  Simple as that. 
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

bopper

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2009, 11:49:03 AM »
"I have some activities scheduled already.  I have Sunday afternoon free if you would like to get together."

Bibliophile

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2009, 11:52:46 AM »
Tell her that you're not able to make plans for this trip as you're taking time out for yourself.  If you don't want to be friends with her, then can you "break up" with her?  Not take her call?  Don't email?

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

Betelnut

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2009, 11:58:14 AM »
Just because you are physically there and have some free time doesn't mean it is "possible" for you to hang out with someone whose company you no longer enjoy.  It is not possible because you don't want to.  Period.

« Last Edit: June 24, 2009, 01:38:26 PM by Betelnut »
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Lisbeth

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2009, 12:38:28 PM »
"But what if they know it's possible?"

"I'm sorry, but I have to reiterate that this is not possible.  Please consider the subject closed."
I'm away from sanity right now...please leave a message after the beep.
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magician5

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2009, 04:43:45 PM »
"I'm going to pass, but thanks for asking."

"Oh, you know I don't like to plan my vacation time. If I'm in the mood for X I'll call you, but you shouldn't really count on me for anything."

Best suggestion so far ... and if your friend persists beyond these two statements, I think you'd be forgiven for saying "because I don't want to."
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

wheeitsme

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2009, 05:20:57 PM »
Just because you are physically there and have some free time doesn't mean it is "possible" for you to hang out with someone whose company you no longer enjoy.  It is not possible because you don't want to.  Period.



This.

And if they say:  "But the free time..."

You can say: "I prefer to keep this time unstructured and spontaneous.  It's a quirk I have.  So it's really not possible for me to be included in any plans you might make.  Thank you anyway."

 ;) Lather, rinse, repeat

blue2000

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2009, 06:45:08 PM »
Just because you are physically there and have some free time doesn't mean it is "possible" for you to hang out with someone whose company you no longer enjoy.  It is not possible because you don't want to.  Period.



ITA. No matter what you have planned (or not) you have told her NO. You are not required to justify your answer. If she wants to whine about all the free time she thinks you have, she can whine to herself.
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

blue2000

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2009, 10:09:33 PM »

Now I just have to shut down her attempts at getting me to babysit her husband at said event  ::)


Ewww.

Why does a grown man need babysitting?? Can't he just stay home if he isn't going to participate?
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Curly Wurly Doggie Breath

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2009, 02:08:17 AM »
Ewwwwwww, is right. No way I'd set my hubby up with a date [other than me] for an event. ???

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Michelle Ravel

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Re: But what if they know it's possible?
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2009, 03:07:09 PM »
"I'm looking forward to some quiet alone time on Saturday. But I can see you for brunch on Sunday if you can make it at 11:00."