Freaky, the next time your mom gripes about the price of salad dressing, join right in with her.
if she's all bent out of shape because salad dressing is $3.99 a bottle, tell her that at college it's $4.25 a bottle. She tells you milk is $2.99 a gallon? You recently heard that in New York it's $4.
As you walk around, every day, just learn the price of one item at random and pull that out of your sleeve if she complains about something.
Freaky's Mom: "The salad dressing was $3.99 a bottle!"
Freaky: "That's insane! Do they make it with solid gold or something? Why don't they just have the cashiers pull out a handgun at the register and rummage through your wallet?"
Freaky: Do you know what CARROTS cost? Carrots! They're like three dollars a pound! And if you want organic--FORGET IT! You'd need a bank loan! The stupid things grow in the dirt, for crying out loud. It's not like they're hand-extruded through a million dollar machine only owned by NASA.
Freaky's Mom: Uh...yeah.
Freaky: Oh, yeah, I forgot--these pearl earrings just look great on me. Every time I see them in the mirror, I think how awesome they look. But I'd better not wear them to the grocery store or they'll jack up the price on the salad dressing even further! Oh well--gotta practice my clarinet now.
Freaky's Mom, thinking: When exactly did I lose control of the conversation?