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Author Topic: I will be bringing the police with me if I have to!  (Read 7498 times)

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I will be bringing the police with me if I have to!
« on: July 01, 2009, 02:15:21 PM »
Mods, if this is in the wrong folder, please feel free to move.

I have a situation which has not occured yet. I have filed for a divorce from my husband of one year due to verbal abuse. (relationship of 12 years)  I am in counseling and I have a lawyer, so I ask everyone to keep focused on the etiquette issues here.

BG: My state is a "no fault' state which means that I simply have to show that we do not have the possibility of working through our differences for the divorce to be granted. Well, I am currently in a 'waiting period' because soon-to-ex (VAM - verbally abusive man) contested the divorce and request for concilation counseling. It will be scheduled sometime within the next 30 days. 

VAM has not worked since May of last year. I gave him some cash so he could find a place to live about 2 months ago. He proceeded to get a storage unit for his belongings and enlisted the help of family and friends to move everything out. (including many of my personal items - but that's a different story)  Well, he found a friend to allow him to "house sit" in LittleCity for 3 weeks. Let me make it clear here, that he did not leave ANYTHING of his behind. All that was left were MY personal belongings. I purchased the house solo 6 years ago. All of the utilities have been soley in my name the entire time. He never once made any house payments or paid for any home improvements. These were all done with my money. The house is fully in my maiden name and legally he has no claim to anything he left behind. I have changed all the locks and put passwords on my utlity accounts to prevent him from being able to make any changes/BG

Now he is calling me and telling me "I will be coming to the house sometime the end of this week to stay for a while, since it is STILL my residence. (albeit, he only has access to the mailbox because he still has that key and I have not been able to get it changed yet) He has the intention that he will stay in my house until the divorce has been completed with the court OR until he can find a job. Argh.

I have used "That will not be possible." and many variations there of, to tell him in no uncertain terms that I have no intention of letting him back into a house which he has no interest or belongings in. He has already broken some personal items and has items of mine (sentimental christmas ornaments) in his storage which he will 'someday' return to me, but otherwise there is nothing at all in the house which he can claim he needs to get access to.

E-hellions, please help me come up with tried and true statements that I can tell the police officer when he/she comes to my house with VAM that NO WAY IN HECK do I have any intention of letting him back in. I want to remain calm, cool and unemotional because I know that is the absolute best way to show the police person how reasonable I have been through all of this and how VAM feels he is entitled to something which is not his in the least.


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Re: I will be bringing the police with me if I have to!
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2009, 02:25:36 PM »
I think this is purely legal in nature and you should be discussing it with your lawyer.


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Re: I will be bringing the police with me if I have to!
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2009, 02:27:38 PM »
This is absolutely a legal issue. Speak to your lawyer. I have been there and I wish you the best.

I will tell you this, in my situation the police told me that I HAD to let EX stay there until I had given him 30 days with a written notice. Talk to your layer as soon as you can.


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Re: I will be bringing the police with me if I have to!
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2009, 02:33:47 PM »
The only thing I can think of is to apply for a restraining order first.  

Perhaps prepare a letter detailing the reasons you have requested a restraining order, and present that to the officer?  Just because something has to be conveyed does not require that you vocalize it.  
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Re: I will be bringing the police with me if I have to!
« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2009, 04:23:39 PM »
This is a legal matter. I suggest, along with other posters, that you contact your attorney for advice. Good luck to the OP.
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