No, really, it was cheap!

[platys]

Freakyfemme's last post about her earrings reminded me of a question I meant to ask.

I'm a HUGE bargain shopper.  Which means I often find pretty nice things pretty darn cheap.  For example, the gift shop in my office building is going out of business.  On the day that they went to 75% off everything, I bought a bunch of silver earrings with various semi-precious stones in them.   Even before the 75% off price, nothing was ungodly expensive (the most expensive was 28 dollars - most were in the 15 dollar range).  So, all the female relatives are, as part of their larger presents, getting earrings that I thought they'd like.

Anyways, at gift giving time, it can seem like I"m being overly generous, when really, I just bargain hunt like crazy.   But it seems awkward to be like "Okay, so it seems like I"m giving you a bunch of awesome stuff, but actually, I spent 2 hours on the internet finding a really nice pan that you'd like that fit into my budget".

[guihong]

First, can you come to my house?  You're a shopper after my own heart.

I think it's more rude for a gift receiver to say anything like "Oh, this is too expensive!"  Someone in Freaky's post pointed out that that can hurt the giver's feelings. 

Finding a really nice gift at a steal of a price is not the same thing as having a pompous, "Look what I can afford" attitude, which would ring loud and clear the other 364 days of the year, were it true. 

Were someone to mention price (tacky), all you'd have to say was "They were a great buy".  Otherwise, don't worry about anyone thinking "platys throws money around".

I hope that was even the question...

gui

[dawbs]

I do understand the problem, but I just say "oh, don't worry about it, we kept everything well within our Christmas budget" (that way "m saying "yes, we thought about the cost" and "yes, we can afford it" and "if there is an agreed-upon limit, we stayed w/in it" all in one sentence")

I find it more a problem w/ the appearance of fairness...I'm a bargin shopper...but some things are easier to 'bargin" for than others. 
(example, I have 2 sisters.  They are very VERY different.  ONe sister is a bit picky about brands.  Her underwear and socks usually come from specific stores.  I found her a Christmas gift she'd love, and spent a total of $50 to get her some sweaters and books.  The other sister is flighty w/ "younger" intrests.  Because I ebayed, I got her a 2 year subscrition to magazines she pines after for $15 (instead of $40) and was able to get her some ikea furnishings fo rher new apt, some books,  and a gift card...all for the same $50...
However it looks a bit disproportionate under the tree!
Luckily they're both mature adults who dn't (to my knowledge) compare such things openly and who understand I bargin shop.)

[Clara Bow]

I'm the queen of cheap, and I do love a sale. Last year at Christmas at work we had a 25 dollar limit on gifts. I was able to get one lady an FSU purse that she loved (they're usually in the 50 range, got it for 23), one girl got Old Navy pajamas (marked down to 20) and another girl got Nautica pajama pants and a tank top (total was 19, love the outlet mall). They were all shocked and I had to reiterate numerous times that I stayed within the budget limit....

[CrayonOutlines]

Yeah, our grad school cohort's (class) Christmas party was last week and there was a $15 limit for the gift exchange (we played the Cheeky Santa game [or whatever you call it]) and I brought Aggieopoly (the Monopoly game with a Texas A&M theme), which usually sells for about $25.  When the person opened it, my friend said, "That's not in the budget!"  So I had to pipe up (and blow my own horn -- pardon my mix of metaphors) and tell everyone that I got it on eBay for $13.99.  Boo ya!!!!

[RegionMom]

I am also really big on shopping AFTER the holiday, and my best ever was in Feb. 3 years ago when a Target stock boy discovered leftover Christmas items that had never been put on the floor.  Brand spanking new in box items, NINETY percent off.   NINETY percent, I said!   

Can you say heart palpitations?  The red items were great for Valentine's, and I got so much decor and gave so many gifts next year that I was the complete opposite of Scrooge!

I tend to pack a box or bag of theme items for a person, instead of one big xyz item. 
For example, today I gave my co-teacher an overloaded stocking.  I could have put in one thing, but I just kept on putting in little things--and the overall effect made me look like Santa. But honestly, with the sales and my gift closet, she prolly spent more on me with 2 items she ordered on-line. 

At the teacher ornament exchange, we had a 5 dollar cost limit.  My dilemna--if a cute snowman with gangly limbs sold for $7.99 originally, and I bought it for $1.99, does that make the range?

To the OP--congrats on being a good shopper.  Just keep saying that you found a good deal.  I have learned that not everyone wants to know about my going-out-of-business store excursions or lucky finds on sale, let alone yard saling adventures!

(but I once did buy a REAL gold chain, perfect condition, at a yard sale, mixed in with costume jewelry--not by the hubby, the wife! )
And so I must continue my shopping adventures, all in the name of gifts for others, of course!   

[ClaireC79]

The only time I've had it brought up was when we've set a limit and they couldn't believe I'd stayed within it (actually I was 10% under)

[Bethalize]

Anyways, at gift giving time, it can seem like I"m being overly generous, when really, I just bargain hunt like crazy.   But it seems awkward to be like "Okay, so it seems like I"m giving you a bunch of awesome stuff, but actually, I spent 2 hours on the internet finding a really nice pan that you'd like that fit into my budget".

I'm like you, it's about the end result not how much you spent on it. The best present I ever gave was an entire professional darkroom set to a friend who really wanted one but who couldn't quite bring himself to spend the money to get the sort of enlarger he needed. I got it on Freecycle, it was nearly new, he knew it was second hand - but it would have cost hundreds and hundreds if it had been sold. What should I have done, sold it to him? not given it to him? given it to him in £20 increments over the next twenty years? Pah!

[fklwmn]

I am also a huge bargain shopper. I don't mind looking overly generous, but if someone mentions it I say "Oh, I got a GREAT deal!!"

[ShadesOfGrey]

I do understand the problem, but I just say "oh, don't worry about it, we kept everything well within our Christmas budget" (that way "m saying "yes, we thought about the cost" and "yes, we can afford it" and "if there is an agreed-upon limit, we stayed w/in it" all in one sentence")

I find it more a problem w/ the appearance of fairness...I'm a bargin shopper...but some things are easier to 'bargin" for than others. 

Much agreed.  This is the perfect response.  It is nobody's business how much you spent. 

I agree with the issue of appearance of fairness though, and might actually hold some stuff back if it seemed extremely lopsided (if it matters in your family).   For me, giving a gift isnt about the $$ (or pound or euro ) amount, it's about finding something that the receiver would really appreciate.  So I set an upper limit because I do have a budget, but no lower limit.  If I find something for $10 that my sister would really appreciate, I feel no shame in giving her only that at christmas.  By the same token, if I find something for $45 for my other sister, I purchase that for her.  Next year it might be reversed, or I might spend $10 on both, or $50 on both.  It all depends on my budget and what I think they would enjoy. 

I actually decided to hold some gifts back for my niece, because I couldnt get as many things for my nephew (7 and 10 years old).  He's really into science stuff, so his gift are much more expensive than hers, but being 10 yrs. old, he still gets disappointed when he doesnt have as many gifts to open (and I made that mistake last year).  Also for my sisters, I spent less than $20 on one, and will be spending at least $50 for the other, but both gifts are extremely useful to them in their current situations.  I actually think the one for $20 is more thoughtful than the other one...

If people are familiar with your bargain hunting ways, they will simply assume you got a great deal. 

Just remember how much you spend on them is NOT indicative of how much you love them...

[Tabris]

One year I gave someone a silk blouse I'd found stupidly cheap (it was gorgeous--I bought myself one too, since the thing was like $5) and threw in a regifted box of teas that I was afraid to drink while pregnant or nursing. We never exchanged expensive presents--more like "You're awesome--have this."

She called my mother and was in shock that clearly I'd spent a hundred dollars on her or something, and how thrilled she was with both items (but most especially t he teas) and my mother called me to let me know. Then I felt truly awful.

Whenever something like that happens nowadays, I just say "Mr. Tabris and I thought about it, and this was something we really wanted to do."

[Sterling]

I Christmas shop all year round because I have a set list of people I have to buy for and I know them well.  when i see something special really cheap I buy it.  Of course since its family no seems to mind.  I also go to the yearly sales at the Bath and Body shop and stock up on cheap things to extra gifts.  My direct supervisor got a very nice candle that retails for $30 but I only paid $5.

I personally wear my bargin skills as a badge of pride.

[gr_gal1993]

Don't feel bad, I do the same thing.  I love to bargain shop and pick up things all the time as gifts for various people.  I buy some things a year or more in advance at times.  Currently, I'm looking for diamond studs for some of the nieces.  My budget is about $30.00 and with the 70% off sales that the stores start running after Christmas, I know that I'll have a lovely gift for somebody next year.  It's all about hitting the right shops at the right time.

[platys]

One problem I have is that we don't have a strict budget number in our family.  So, its not like we say "Only spend 50".  It fluctuates.  Plus, this year, I have a new guy I'm seeing.  We agreed to do presents, but not anything very expensive.  He said my present is not extravagant.  What does that mean?  I finally got out of him that my present is about the value of a nice bathrobe.   I had to bite my tongue to ask "Well, are we talking wal-mart bathrobe or victoria secret?"  Heh.

Anyways, he likes to cook, and loves indian food, but doesn't have a lot of pans.  So I searched and searched, and found an awesome deal on a calaphon saucepan for 30 dollars.   (Amazon always has good deals on the really nice calaphon line.  I have no idea why, but that's how I own a bunch.) Then I bought a cool Indian cookbook on the cheap (thanks amazon again!), and then I went to Penzeys and bought some little jars of various curry blends.   The entire gift is under 50 dollars.  But, its going to look really extravangant.  I've already told him that I"m an total bargain shopper, though.

On the other side of the coin, I knit.  And my knitted gifts sometimes don't feel like they have much value, even though they totally do.  For example, my mom is getting a pair of hand knit fair isle socks, and a hat and muffler set that is made from a really nice yarn.   Then she's getting the cheapy 75% off silver earrings, and a really nice handcrafted silver necklace.  And a bunch of little stuff I've been collecting for her. I've been stressing that its not going to look extravegant enough.   

I just stress on presents in general, though.

Edit:  I should add I don't mind at all if I spent more on him than he did on me.  But he's the type of guy who would feel awful if I spent more than he did.  He's a little old fashioned that way.

[fklwmn]

One problem I have is that we don't have a strict budget number in our family.  So, its not like we say "Only spend 50".  It fluctuates.  Plus, this year, I have a new guy I'm seeing.  We agreed to do presents, but not anything very expensive.  He said my present is not extravagant.  What does that mean?  I finally got out of him that my present is about the value of a nice bathrobe.   I had to bite my tongue to ask "Well, are we talking wal-mart bathrobe or victoria secret?"  Heh.

Anyways, he likes to cook, and loves indian food, but doesn't have a lot of pans.  So I searched and searched, and found an awesome deal on a calaphon saucepan for 30 dollars.   (Amazon always has good deals on the really nice calaphon line.  I have no idea why, but that's how I own a bunch.) Then I bought a cool Indian cookbook on the cheap (thanks amazon again!), and then I went to Penzeys and bought some little jars of various curry blends.   The entire gift is under 50 dollars.  But, its going to look really extravangant.  I've already told him that I"m an total bargain shopper, though.

On the other side of the coin, I knit.  And my knitted gifts sometimes don't feel like they have much value, even though they totally do.  For example, my mom is getting a pair of hand knit fair isle socks, and a hat and muffler set that is made from a really nice yarn.   Then she's getting the cheapy 75% off silver earrings, and a really nice handcrafted silver necklace.  And a bunch of little stuff I've been collecting for her. I've been stressing that its not going to look extravegant enough.  

I just stress on presents in general, though.

Edit:  I should add I don't mind at all if I spent more on him than he did on me.  But he's the type of guy who would feel awful if I spent more than he did.  He's a little old fashioned that way.

lol. I am like you and The Marine is like your boyfriend. I hate it!! I am not even done shopping for him, but have just been picking up a bunch of things he has mentioned he would like to have while he is deployed next year, plus a little something special. He keeps asking what I got him, or how much it cost. I won't tell him, I said price isn't the issue. I am getting him what I want to get him, I want him to do the same.

Of course, I DO know that I am not spending as much as he is already though, b/c the *big* part of my present is the New EYars weekend we are going to stay overnight @ the Marriott, and get a couples massage and all kinds of other fun stuff that we never actually do. And I know that stuff cost a fortune. I'll just have one or 2 small things to open when we see each other Xmas eve. But I keep telling him it's rude to ask how much your gift cost, lol. I DO feel bad thuogh b/c I don't want him to feel bad if he thinks I spent more than him, or got him more. I wish I could just make him NOT feel that way!