My dear local Postal workers:
I really do like you guys. Few to none of my items have gone missing in the last few years, and you're always so friendly about things, like when my friends mail me a package the shape and weight of a rhinoceros and I apologize and you say it's no problem, smiling as if it really isn't.
And Christmas cards--thousands of them, millions of them, coming to this city--many to my very own house! All for thirty-nine cents apiece! It's a steal. You certainly can't fly across the country for thirty-nine cents, and yet my friends have sent me good wishes for that paltry sum.
Having said that, though, I have one teensie request. My friend Barbara's Christmas card, although it did arrive, took ten days to get here from only 200 miles away--and when it arrived, it had tire tracks on the envelope.
I know a stamped letter is cheap, but that doesn't mean you should drive over it.
Thank you so much for your attention, and much love during this hectic Christmas season.