Author Topic: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?  (Read 8211 times)

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secretrebel

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Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« on: July 24, 2009, 05:34:12 AM »
BG:

I have a colleague who is very strong-minded and says what she thinks. She drives to work and I bicycle. She really doesn't approve of cyclists and will often make comments about how all cyclists are bad road users and shouldn't be allowed on the roads. This is even though she has seen my helmet, fluorescent jacket and bag and arm bands, lights and reflectors on my bike. I get annoyed at bad car drivers but because I don't think *all* of any type of road user are bad my colleague seems to think I can be converted.

Recently I started to learn to drive and my colleague has been making comments like "now you will see how bad cyclists are" and "finally you are going to get a real vehicle".

end BG


Anyway, yesterday we were talking about cars again and I mentioned a problem I was having. My parents have very kindly given me an old car to learn on but shortly after I got it, it was vandalised. I am having difficulty getting it fixed because all the garages want me to drive it in before they'll give me an estimate for repair and I've not yet passed my test. My colleague was going on about how unreasonable I was asking for estimates over the phone and saying that garages just don't do that and I ought to know that and how I was "in for a shock about how real grownups do things".

It got a bit irritating and I couldn't stop her until I thought of the bean dip and said:
"gosh, your voice sounds really croaky, are you getting a cold?".
It worked brilliantly and she changed the subject to how she's been spraying for fleas in her house and accidentally ingested a lot of the spray. I didn't criticise her at all (although I think spraying so much chemical about you give yourself a sore throat is a bit daft) and just sympathised and by the end of it she'd forgotten all about me and my naive ideas of car-ownership.

gibsongirl

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2009, 08:37:22 AM »
Ooooh.  Sorry about your car.  Yeah, she sounds...tactful.

And she's wrong, to boot.  No garage should want YOU to drive the car.  As long as the car is in the garage, THEY should drive it to see if anything is wrong both in the way it runs and structurally.  Also, if you haven't driven it before, how on earth would you be able to tell if anything is different so they could fix it?? 

However, if it is not at the garage, they are not going to give you an estimate over the phone, sight unseen. 

Good luck w/the biking.  I loved the courteous drivers and detested the ones who were rude, but I would never condemn someone for their transportation choice... ::)

JacklynHyde

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2010, 09:30:27 PM »
From the immortal George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion: Oh, that'll be all right. I've taught her to speak properly; and she has strict orders as to her behavior. Shes to keep to two subjects: the weather and everybody's health--Fine day and How do you do, you know--and not to let herself go on things in general. That will be safe.

I must remember to keep this one in mind.  Most in need of a bean dipping love when the topic turns to themselves!

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2010, 11:58:26 AM »
One of my favorite plays, Pygmalion and the musical version, My Fair Lady.   And the amusement Eliza causes at the races, even by sticking to the weather and everybody's health.     

"The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plains! But in Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen!"
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

MDefarge

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2010, 05:37:58 PM »
Ooooh.  Sorry about your car.  Yeah, she sounds...tactful.

And she's wrong, to boot.  No garage should want YOU to drive the car. As long as the car is in the garage,[/b] THEY should drive it to see if anything is wrong both in the way it runs and structurally.  Also, if you haven't driven it before, how on earth would you be able to tell if anything is different so they could fix it?? 

However, if it is not at the garage, they are not going to give you an estimate over the phone, sight unseen. 



Rereading the OP it seems as if the car is not actually in the garage, she's asking for the quotes sight unseen.

rhirhi

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2010, 02:04:18 PM »
I'm kind of surprised that the garages can't give you a quote without seeing your car.

My mom knows where the gas goes, where her tag is, and to check the oil (but she doesn't know why). HOWEVER- she can describe the problem well enough that my husband and uncle (and My Cousin Vinny's fiance... ;D) can tell you what is wrong with it. Or at least have enough of an idea to tell you if it is $ or $$$$ or new car-time.

rashea

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2010, 03:11:29 PM »
I'm not at all surprised they won't give you a quote without seeing the car. That's a little like calling the doctor and getting a diagnosis over the phone. They will probably get it right, but there is a good possibility they will want to look first. In part because if they say "it sounds like an x problem and it costs $y to repair" and they are wrong, you're likely to be mad at them if they need to charge you more.

At the same time, good job on bean dipping her.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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O'Dell

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2010, 04:30:27 PM »
Wow, your CW is beyond rude and is insulting you...especially when she suggested that you aren't a "real grownup". I think you have every right call her on it. "So in your opinion I'm not a grownup?" "So because I bike to work, I shouldn't be allowed to travel here and keep my job and make a living?" If you don't want to say anything to her because it will cause trouble with a coworker then I think you should at least stick to work topics from now on.

Etiquette doesn't dictate that you let people insult you or treat you badly.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
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rhirhi

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2010, 07:10:27 PM »
I'm not at all surprised they won't give you a quote without seeing the car. That's a little like calling the doctor and getting a diagnosis over the phone. They will probably get it right, but there is a good possibility they will want to look first. In part because if they say "it sounds like an x problem and it costs $y to repair" and they are wrong, you're likely to be mad at them if they need to charge you more.

At the same time, good job on bean dipping her.

I'm probably just spoiled by the mechanics in my family, then.

missmolly

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2010, 09:45:17 PM »
The 'grown-ups' comment is incredibly rude and condescending.
"Any idiot can face a crisis, it is this day-to-day living that wears you out". Chekhov.

rashea

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #10 on: July 02, 2010, 09:53:34 PM »
I'm not at all surprised they won't give you a quote without seeing the car. That's a little like calling the doctor and getting a diagnosis over the phone. They will probably get it right, but there is a good possibility they will want to look first. In part because if they say "it sounds like an x problem and it costs $y to repair" and they are wrong, you're likely to be mad at them if they need to charge you more.

At the same time, good job on bean dipping her.

I'm probably just spoiled by the mechanics in my family, then.

They probably can take a guess, but they may not be willing to since then people get pissy about quotes and repairs being more than expected.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

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shhh its me

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #11 on: July 03, 2010, 05:07:16 AM »
I'm not at all surprised they won't give you a quote without seeing the car. That's a little like calling the doctor and getting a diagnosis over the phone. They will probably get it right, but there is a good possibility they will want to look first. In part because if they say "it sounds like an x problem and it costs $y to repair" and they are wrong, you're likely to be mad at them if they need to charge you more.

At the same time, good job on bean dipping her.

I'm probably just spoiled by the mechanics in my family, then.


They probably can take a guess, but they may not be willing to since then people get pissy about quotes and repairs being more than expected.
for family or a close friend I might give a guess (Watch repair but the same principle applies) over the phone but for a client never. Your family knows you accurate a stranger over the phone doesn't in addition to the "well you say X  costs y you didn't say anything about the possibility that I might also need a Z."

Back to OP I might have told you your expectations were unrealistic if you complained to me "I called 5 garages they wont tell me a price over the phone" but I would have been polite about it nothing snarky.  I think you can say directly "That's very condescending"  if you wanted.
« Last Edit: July 03, 2010, 11:13:43 AM by Merry Mrs Martin »

Shortcake

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #12 on: July 03, 2010, 10:29:33 AM »
The 'grown-ups' comment is incredibly rude and condescending.

POD!

 You did a great job at bean dipping! I will have to remember to bean dip with a question or comment about the person I am talking to at the time. 
"Carry out a random act of kindness, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you."  Princess Diana

secretrebel

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2010, 07:09:14 AM »
I've only just noticed that this got a bunch more responses. Thanks for the comments and for the support.

I got the car fixed in the end. I called my parents garage (they live 40 minutes away) and asked them about it. They gave me a quote over the phone and arranged to come and collect the car at no additional fee since they had a drop off in that area. They brought it back the next week and that time I had a 10 drop off fee. It all went very smoothly.

I hadn't expected any difficulty about a quote for the work because the damage was to a wing mirror (completely smashed off) so what I needed was cost of new wing mirror + labour. Also, I was only looking for a quote - not a final price. I see other people have different expectations about what garages will do but I was able to find one who would quote me a price and collect the car and their good service means I will always use them in future.

ETA: I thought asking for a quote was reasonable because this is how I've dealt with other work needing to be done. eg calling for a quote for fitting a power shower, repairing a boiler, replacing a broken window etc. In all those cases the tradespeople haven't needed to see the item to quote a cost for the work. That might just be how things work here in the UK but it's been the usual experience of life as a property owner. Unless it's an unusual job or involves multiple elements I'd expect to ask for a quote/estimate sight-unseen for the work.

Whether I was right or wrong about the quote request I think the grown-up comment was very inappropriate and I'm glad I deflected to conversation.

I haven't learnt to drive yet (I had to take a 6 month break as I was finishing a course and needed to concentrate on coursework) but I have moved offices and no longer sit next to my judgemental co-irker! ;)
« Last Edit: August 03, 2010, 05:56:53 AM by secretrebel »

Shortcake

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Re: Can you eat bean dip with that sore throat?
« Reply #14 on: July 05, 2010, 09:55:06 AM »
I am glad things worked out for you!  :)
"Carry out a random act of kindness, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you."  Princess Diana