Author Topic: Child etiquette  (Read 12077 times)

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Twinkle

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Re: Child etiquette
« Reply #60 on: June 01, 2010, 01:32:05 PM »
As far as children and the general public are concerned, sometimes parents can't win.
For example:  my 3 year old throws a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket, I try my best to deal with the situation, but receive all sorts of comments from passers-by.  I get tutted at and told things like "my children wouldn't dare behave like that in public", "it's the parents fault" (what 3 year old in the world hasn't done something like that at least once?) "Oh, that's terrible" etc etc.  I am mortified by this behaviour, but sometimes little kids get themselves so worked up that you cannot reason with them, and have to take them home.  Next time DD throws a tantrum in public I recall the previous incident and resolve to be firm.  So while I am sternly telling her off, and she is loudly sobbing (purely for effect), I receive comments like "Oh, she's only young" "there's no need for that", and "the poor girl".  Let me stress I am NOT swearing, shouting or being cruel, I am merely looking DD straight in the eyes and telling her sternly that "you WILL NOT kick Mummy again, you WILL NOT roll about the floor", followed by "If you DO NOT stop this NOW, then you will be going straight home to sit on the Naughty Step.  Do you understand?"  DD acts like I have threatened her with dismemberment and screams louder!
On one occasion DD let go of my hand and tried to run across a busy road.  I managed to grab her in time and reprimanded her sharply.  (I was shaking, she could have been killed) , only for DD to then to be told by a passing teenaged school boy "tell your mum to shut up".  I glared at him and said "Do you expect me to say nothing when she could have been killed?"  The reply was "If you were my mum I wouldn't do what you told me either".  I then asked the schoolboy what he would do if it was his child, allow him/her to do as they pleased in a dangerous situation?  To which he laughed and sauntered off.
  Many people I know with kids receive the same treatment, and none of it's helpful.
The exception being a couple of older ladies and on one occasion an elderly gentleman (who must have all had grandchildren like DD)  who have been very kind and helpful and coaxed DD out of her tantrum, laughed it off and told me not to worry, that EVERY child behaves like that sometimes.  And you also get the odd person who compliments DD when she is well behaved and say things like "Aren't you a clever big girl for mummy". 
Sorry for the rant! :-[

Kimblee

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Re: Child etiquette
« Reply #61 on: June 01, 2010, 02:09:30 PM »
Don't force a child to give you a hug or kiss, even if the child is your godchild, grandchild, niece or nephew.  It sends a message that a child isn't allowed to refuse to be touched.  Even if you are the Auntie, to a 3-yr-old who sees you twice a year, you are a stranger for all intents & purposes.  The more time you spend with him or her, the child will warm up to you and feel more comfortable hugging you.

oh hell yeah.

This is so true.

kitty-cat

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Re: Child etiquette
« Reply #62 on: June 01, 2010, 02:18:44 PM »
I would also like to add that parents should remember that their children are individuals with their own interests and abilities.  Although Mom or Dad may have been a great soccer player, math student, or singer, it does not mean that the child will share the same abilities or skills.  Parents should have realistic expectations and not yell at their children, teachers or coaches if their children are not the best at an activity or subject.

POD!!! I know this one is kinda older, but still. And a corrolary- just because said child has been good in one subject for ages, it does not mean they will always be good in it.

Focus on the good grades, not the bad ones. I would bring home A's and B's in everything and then a C-D in precalc/calc and that was the ONLY grade my stepdad  noticed... Math was not my strong suit in high school, I did my best, but my best was not all that good. In fact, the ONLY reason I got a D and not an F in calc is because according to my teacher "You come to class every day and you come in before school for tutoring twice a week, you are at least trying."




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Nanny Ogg

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Re: Child etiquette
« Reply #63 on: June 01, 2010, 03:09:50 PM »
Don't force a child to give you a hug or kiss, even if the child is your godchild, grandchild, niece or nephew.  It sends a message that a child isn't allowed to refuse to be touched.  Even if you are the Auntie, to a 3-yr-old who sees you twice a year, you are a stranger for all intents & purposes.  The more time you spend with him or her, the child will warm up to you and feel more comfortable hugging you.

oh hell yeah.

This is so true.

I totally agree with this. I'm an adult who HATES to be touched, apart from immediate family and my boyf (and a very licky rabbit!) - I think a lot of it stems from "go kiss uncleauntystranger XYZ goodbye", and not being listened to when I said no.

I was at a party a little while back, and there was one young kid there, about 7 years old, whom I had not met before. The kid who was really well mannered and very grown up for his age, was playing Xbox in another room, and occassionally come in to chat to us/his mum.

At the end of the night, the mum told the kid to give all of us a hug and a kiss goodbye, and the kids face dropped so I told the kid that he didn't have to hug me if he didn't want to, and gave him a high five instead. Funnily enough, after saying that, he looked like he wanted to hug me!



MummyPumpkin83

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Re: Child etiquette
« Reply #64 on: June 28, 2010, 12:03:43 AM »
Instead of specifying "horror movies", how about: Please don't bring your children to R or NC17 rated movies.

I wish theaters would enforce such a rule. Any time I ever saw a kid under 14 at an R rated movie, they were either scared and crying, or bored and being a nuisance. And no, I never said anything. It wasn't worth missing half the movie to get into an argument with a clueless parent. Awhile back, on another thread, someone suggested that theaters should charge ALL tickets to R rated films at the adult price. I think that is an excellent idea.

If parents deem it acceptable for their young children to see these films, they can always wait for the DVD to come out and screen them at home.


That's what I like about the system in the UK- a child under the age limit is forbidden to enter the cinema and see the film.

Australia is similar ratings are:
G- General - all ages
PG - Parent Guidance for under 15s
M15+ - reccommended fro 15+, but younger can view
MA15+ = restricted to 15+ - have to show ID to get in or be accompanied by a parent / adult guardian
R18+ = restricted to 18+ - have to show ID to get in
Mummy to 3 little Pumpkin boys!

Kimblee

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Re: Child etiquette
« Reply #65 on: June 28, 2010, 02:58:02 PM »
Instead of specifying "horror movies", how about: Please don't bring your children to R or NC17 rated movies.

I wish theaters would enforce such a rule. Any time I ever saw a kid under 14 at an R rated movie, they were either scared and crying, or bored and being a nuisance. And no, I never said anything. It wasn't worth missing half the movie to get into an argument with a clueless parent. Awhile back, on another thread, someone suggested that theaters should charge ALL tickets to R rated films at the adult price. I think that is an excellent idea.

If parents deem it acceptable for their young children to see these films, they can always wait for the DVD to come out and screen them at home.



This is true in most cases. but I have younger cousins who love to accompany me to horror movies. And the DVD just isn't the same experience. One of them only gets to go with me when she has gone over a month without a violent meltdown, so this is a special treat.

But we go to matinee showings, and usually about a month after it comes out. Not because she wouldn;t behave herself in a nioght time/brand new showing, but because I hate driving at night, and she gets nervious when people are too close.

because watching a ghost come out of a TV and kill people is entertainment, but godforbid she be brushed by someone going to their seats.

(Before anyone wonders, her violent outbursts just don't happen in public. I have a suspision that it isn't just coincidence that they ALWAYS happen around her stepdad.)