One year I decided to have as many of my friends as possible to my small apartment for a grown up New Year's Party. One of my less intelligent moves. Usually it was me, four of my other single friends, a dinner out and an exchange of Christmas gifts. Since I was the one with the apartment and my friends lived with their parents (still going to school or saving money to get their own place), I usually hosted.
But I thought it would be fun to have lots of people together and that all my friends could meet each other and so on.
Not my best idea.
Of course, lots of people already had plans, so, in the end, I had the usual four single friends, Best Friend Forever, her husband, her brother...and husband's good friend who had no where to go for New Year's and really didn't want to be alone. We will call him Boor.
We understood WHY he had nowhere to go soon after he arrived. Everyone had made some very creative dishes, including a nifty sausage, cheese and fettucine dish, lasagna, chicken casseroles, some Indian delicacies one friend was known for and fondue in several varieties. Plus chips, dips, cookies and all sorts of goodies.
Boor looked at the array and said "Don't you have anything GOOD to eat? This is all girly frou-frou %hit."
He didn't like the wine. Or the dessert. Or the casseroles. Or the various ethnic dishes.
He didn't like the games we had. He made fun of us for being librarians. He pulled my unicorn mobile out of the ceiling and bent it in several places. He tried to take my stereo apart.
He followed one friend into another room and told her he knew a spot on the knee that, if pressed correctly, would stimulate her sexually in one minute. She amost decked him and left immediately. He then concentrated his attentions on my tiny friend and wouldn't leave her alone. Best Friend;s brother took over protecting her.
They all stayed over and tiny friend stayed in my room with me and the door was locked from inside.
The next morning, he was complaining about the toast, the donuts and the fact that I didn't have good coffee. Went into the cupboards and found a packet of Swiss Miss Cocoa. "Ah, good old Swiss Piss. This will have to do."
Best Friend and her husband loaded him into their car. She came back, hugged me and said "I really thought he'd be on better behavior than this...he's been complaining that he can't get a date...now I know why." We were disappointed because we'd all planned to go to the movies together and out to dinner, but, as she said "I want to take him home before Tiny gets assaulted or you beat him to death--not that you wouldn't be justified."
Tiny and Best Friend's brother dated for several years after that, but they eventually broke up, too.
I saw Boor one more time, when Best Friend's son was christened. He had improved a bit, but not enough to make up for his gross behavior. Hope I never see him again!