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Author Topic: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories  (Read 211808 times)

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I had a platonic friendship with a man. We were very good friends, talked on the phone frequently, met for dinner once a week and swapped tales of good times and bad, had philosophical discussions, etc. One evening he came over and we were just watching TV when he announced he was going to take his clothes off.

And he did. The more I freaked out with each piece of clothing he removed the more agitated he became. While he was not physically aggressive, in fact he didn't come near me, I nevertheless was scared that he might try to rape me. I was absolutely stunned as he had never displayed this type of behavior before. Because he was sitting between the couch and the door, I realized that in order to escape I had to leap over furniture to do so. Just as I was about to, he suddenly came out of whatever was possessing his mind and returned to his "normal" state.

I didn't even have to kick him out because he was so embarrassed he left immediately. A few weeks later I got a card from him with a sincere apology, but the damage was done as I felt I couldn't trust him. I heard later from mutual acquaintances that he was diagnosed with a psych disorder, but I never saw him again.

I think that if the friendship was strong enough at the time, a firm, "No, you're not, and if you start to you'll be leaving" would have been my reaction.

The problem was that he was between Cass2591 and the door so her escape route was blocked. In this case any reaction from her could have made the situation escalate, so what she did was probably the right thing. Whilst she would have been well within her rights to say it, she had to make a decision based on her own assessment of the situation.
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[Moved from the Impossible Requests Thread. I have no idea how I put it in the wrong place!]

I just remembered one, from way back in the day.

My brother and had a lot of friends when we were teens, and were always bringing them over. Most of them were really good kids, but there was this one guy, let's call him Stanley, who was Brother's friend. Stanley was a misogynist. A big one, and was NOT smart enough to keep his mouth shut.
My mom was always cooking back then, and would prepare enormous feasts for all the kids in the house. It was unusual for there to be less than 10 teens around on any given Saturday. Stanley started making sexist jokes, 'harmless' ones at first. When mom and I were cooking, he came into the kitchen and said, "wow! Finally I find a couple women who know where they belong!" Mom and I looked at each other with this sort of 'did he really just say that?' look. And just to make sure we knew what he meant, he said, "you know, in the kitchen! Cooking my dinner!" Then he laughs at our expressions. "Oh, come on, can't you take a joke?" And then he walks out.
Later, during dinner, which is held rather informally as a dozen people try to cram into dine-in kitchen designed for 8 or less, he starts telling some story. I have some comment. So I try to comment, and he shushes me. As in, holds up his hand and says, "Shh! I'm still talking!" There's a general 'did that just happen?' moment, which he doesn't notice. He does this a couple times to the various females around. Then he starts telling sexist jokes. I will never forget them. The jokes were:
1. Why do women have little feet? -- So they can stand closer to the sink.
2. How does a man open a beer? -- None, the b**** should have opened it before she gave it to him.
3. Why shouldn't women be allowed to drive? -- Because there's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.
At the first one, everyone was uncomfortable, and mom said "that's quite enough of that." Stanley either didn't hear her, or pretended not to. It's possible he didn't hear, because he was one of those kinds of people who brays like a donkey at his own jokes. After the second one, the guys are telling him to shut up (rather forcefully) and he thinks it's hilarious that he's stunned all us girls (including mom) into staring silence. He tells the last one, and my sweet mama stood up, shouted, "That's IT!" Turned to brother and said, "Get that boy out of my house!"

Obviously, Stanley never set foot in our home again.


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OK, after reading this thread, I'm hoping *I* am not one of those guests!

My story is one I've told here a few times:

When I was in college, I had a roommate who was a really picky eater.  In the summer before our sophomore year, I invited her and her parents over to my parents' home for dinner (our parents all got along great).  Mom, knowing my roommate was so picky, asked me about the menu.  I came up with something that I thought she'd like.  Mom fixes it, roommate and her parents come over (knowing full well they were having dinner), and roommate then announces "Oh, I'm not hungry.  I had ice cream on the way in."  Never invited back, that one...

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1. Why do women have little feet? -- So they can stand closer to the sink.
2. How does a man open a beer? -- None, the b**** should have opened it before she gave it to him.
3. Why shouldn't women be allowed to drive? -- Because there's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.

You know, I have actually known some "men" who tell jokes like this, and as disgusting as they are . . . what teenager doesn't have enough sense not to tell dirty or off-color jokes in front of the grown-up in charge?

And good for your mom!


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Mine just happened over the past week (sorry, very long).

DH had a cousin (RIP) whose oldest daughter came out to visit DH when she was looking into colleges in the area.  He didn't remember much from that visit, except that she came across as "free-spirited".  That was 8 years ago, and that side of the family doesn't really keep in touch (DH couldn't even recall which of his aunts' families this was) so I actually never heard about any of this until a few weeks ago.

Two weeks ago we got a voicemail from this girl (I'll call her CCD for cousin's crazy daughter, 26 yrs old now), saying she was flying into the area to go to a wedding in a city 3 hours away, and did we have time to meet up for dinner?  Sure, okay, DH calls her back and finds out more about her plans.  Turns out she's flying here, not the wedding city, because it's cheaper but her flight doesn't land on Thursday night til 8.  That would put dinner at 9 at the absolute earliest, which is really late for us on a worknight.  Since it also comes out that she doesn't have a hotel booked, DH offers her our guest room (after checking with me, and of course I think it's fine) and says we have plenty of food or we could order her pizza.  He gives her the street address of the house but she turns down directions (even after he said it's tricky) because she'll get them somewhere.  He also says, since we have to work tomorrow, we'll probably go to bed right after you get here (thinking 10-ish).

She calls from the airport at 9, having just landed (delayed flight), and says she'll just get herself a hotel room so as not to put us out since it'd be an hour at least before she could be at our house.  We say no, it's fine, drive safe.  DH gives her rough directions and tries to add more details, but again she says no, I'll get them somewhere.  At that point I assumed she had GPS or Google maps on her phone or something.  No such luck.  2 hours later, we call her because she hadn't shown.  DH eventually had to talk her through every last street and turn because her grand plan had been to ask the car rental agency for one of those tri-fold maps and she'd figure it out on her own (our street is so small it doesn't show up on maps like that!).  She finally shows up at midnight, fortunately not hungry because she had stopped for dinner on the way (without telling us she'd be even later, and causing us to stay up 2 hours later than we expected).

Before we went to bed, CCD offered to take us out to breakfast for our hospitality (great!), except DH can't go b/c of work.  My hours are more flexible so I say okay.  She says she's exhausted so will probably sleep in late-ish, like til 8 or so.

I got up around 7 Friday morning to discover CCD gone, and a note saying "I just went to the store, back in 20 min" but no time left on the note.  DH left for work around 9, she still hadn't come back.  She showed up about 9:30, having been gone over 3 hours (by her own admission).  We went out to breakfast, and she treated the waitstaff with this kind of overly polite but condescending attitude ("Ooh, I wanted these eggs poached, not watery, could you do that for me?  Oooh thank you, I knew you could do it!") and snapped at the cashier that "we are in a hurry here" when a) we weren't, having just chatted for 1.5 hours, and b) we were kept waiting because of a request CCD made!

The conversation was pretty entertaining for a while - she's a smart, ambitious person but most of her stories were about how people don't tend to live up to her expectations (exes, family members, etc).  And the way she handles her personal life is really at odds with my own values, so after a while it got a little tiresome to hear about various exploits.  I also discovered, since she drove us, that she's a terrible driver (subjective, of course, but it worried me to be her passenger!) and has no sense of direction.

All told, obviously not the worst visit on record - while it's rude to keep people waiting or guessing on your plans, she was really friendly, full of apologies over the late night arrival, she paid for breakfast, and heck, she's family.  So we really didn't think much of it other than yeah, I guess you could call her "free-spirited."

Well, after the wedding, she drove 10 hours to go to DH's parents' lake house to spend 3-4 days there.  She was invited after she called to find out how they were doing - my ILs are very hospitable and love having company.  They're also pretty straitlaced and well-respected in their resort-town community (they live there year-round so are well-known to most part and full-time residents).  While she was visiting there, apparently she had some confusion as to whether her return flight was out of our city or out of the city closest to the resort-town (er, who doesn't know this?).  The end result was, she was flying out of our city on a late flight, so called us up to say hey, I'll be back in town on Friday, want to meet for dinner before my red-eye flight?

We say sure.  She arrives at our house, after needing last minute step-by-step directions once again, but not too late.  Now, DH hadn't spent much time with her previously, so this time he got the full dose and then some.  Turns out, while she was at the lake house she met some cute local boys, and on her last night there she snuck out of the house to drive off with them til 5 am.  She went on and on about the one she hooked up with, not quite graphically but more details than anyone needs esp at dinner!  She also explicitly said that she snuck out so no one in the house would know, so as not to "sully" her hosts' reputation.  She also admitted to us that she committed fraud by having one of her friends back home FedEx a package of "special cigarettes" across the US/Canada border since she ran out (weirdly, the cigs are legal here and there, just hard to find and she really really needed them for the two days before she went home).

Somewhere in there she admitted that her flight wasn't a red-eye, it was actually scheduled for the next afternoon, but she had been "planning" to just show up and fly standby (well, in her words, tell them "you and I both know there are seats on that flight, so you'll let me on, right?").  But, she was soooooo tired and obviously had no hotel plans, although she weakly said she'd find a hotel near the airport, so we said it's okay, stay in our guest room again.

So she did, and was already long gone when I got up at 6 am to let the cats out.  DH and I said wow, that was altogether kind of odd, but whatever, it was probably a one-time thing and we'll likely never see her again.

Later, DH talked to his dad who said CCD actually told DH's mom and sister (who was also visiting) ALL about the hook-up guy and her other activities after all.  She also pulled quite a few disappearing acts during her time there - going shopping and returning hours after she said she would, changing plans without calling, basically treating them like a hostel rather than family and contributing nothing in terms of food or effort around the house.  After that, they have decided to disinvite her from any future stays.  Except, as soon as CCD got home, she e-mailed them to say she and her mom would like to come visit again in August at the lake house!  FIL responds, sorry but we already have company scheduled the whole time (mostly true).  CCD replies, oh, no worries, now it's just me, not mom, and I'll rent a place nearby!  See you in August!

We're taking bets to see if she just shows up "expecting" to rent on the spot (but really waiting to cash in on family hospitality again).

Valentines Mommy

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May I have a turn?

A little background:  Two brothers married two sisters.  One of the married couples divorces.  Now let the games begin!

Uncle Moochy was a really class act.  After the divorce, he crashed on our couch for almost a year.  He complained about my mother's cooking.  He complained about having to share a bathroom with two teenage girls.  He complained about sleeping on the couch because my mother refused to kick her son out of his room.  He complained that I got to park my car in the carport and he had to park in front of the house.  He complained that we had too many cats, that my sister and I spent too much time on the phone, and that our friends made too much noise.  

His extended stay had become quite costly, as his appetites were voracious and he never once offered to pay for food, utilities, etc.  He managed to break not one, but two couches in our family room.  This was the last straw...

Mama and Papa began to argue a lot about Uncle Moochy.  Mama was of the opinion that our family had done more than enough to help Uncle Moochy get back on his feet and wanted him gone ASAP.  Papa felt obligated to help his brother and was reluctant to kick him out.  Papa also didn't want to deal with the wrath of his mother and sisters if he turfed Uncle Moochy.

Mama told him he had a choice.  He could deal with the angry woman who had birthed his children or the angry women who's only complaint was that one of them would be Uncle Moochy's next stop.  She finally said it was uncle Moochy or his wife and children.

Dad grew a spine and kicked out Uncle Moochy.

Four years later, Papa passed away.  Uncle Moochy stopped by not to console Mama but to ask for all the stuff she wouldn't be needing now that Papa was gone.  We let Older Brother (OB) deal with Uncle Moochy.  As a result, we hardly ever seen Uncle Moochy.

We know he's alive and kicking because we occasionally get a call from a collection's agency looking for him.  ::)
« Last Edit: July 31, 2009, 03:38:31 PM by Valentines Mommy »


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Re: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories
« Reply #81 on: August 01, 2009, 12:49:48 PM »
I had just moved into my very first apartment and I really liked it. No one had ever lived in it and I spent a lot of time decorating it and everything. I was quite pleased. Then, I invited this guy I was friends with at the time over and he brought a couple of friends who were visiting him. These guys were the type who thought they were so cool that everyone should just be overjoyed to be in their presence. They came in my apartment and wandered around eating my food and telling stupid stories. Then, one of them walked over to my bookshelf, grabbed my leather Bible that my Mom had got me (which was pretty expensive, not to mention, it was a *Bible*). He took it, held it up in the air, and said "This is what we think of Bibles!" and ripped it up right in front of me! My mouth dropped open and I was speechless! The guy that I had invited over, then said, "Uh, we better get going," and I said "Yeah, I think so." Man, that still makes me angry to think about it.

I'd have taken his hide to small claims court, and soaked him for the limit.  We've got Bibles all over our house (I've got three and Mr. Sirius also has three, all different) and if someone borrowed one to look something up, fine.  If they wanted to criticize something in the Bible, that's okay, too; they're entitled to their opinion.  But to destroy someone else's property and right in front of them?  He'd have been lucky to get out the door without damage to himself.


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Re: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories
« Reply #82 on: August 01, 2009, 03:21:52 PM »
This happened several years ago.  I had just quit a job and was going to start another one in 10 days.  I had planned it that way to have a vacation since I wouldn't be eligible for vacation for a while after I took the new job.  The week I quit, we get a call:  DH's cousin "Ted" wants to visit next week.  We often had visitors so this wasn't a big deal but it was my vacation!  

Apparently Ted lost his job and his dad thought, since DH and I both had good jobs, we could use our considerable influence to get Ted a job.  Huh?  We had technical jobs not management and had no influence on who got hired anywhere. Even DH's parents said, don't let Ted stay with you!  I thought it would be for a few days and the guy would be out job-hunting anyhow.

Well, he was a total trial.  All the food I made wasn't good enough.  Any restaurant I took him to was a dump.  He wouldn't look for a job.  He stuck like a leech.  He would talk on and on and on about the stupidest subjects, like how one of the books on my book shelf offended him - it was Working by Studs Terkel.  

He left a pan on the stove burning.  I shut it off, cleaned the pan, put it away, all while he's talking, talking, talking, and, then, when we're in the car, 20 minutes away, he says, "I think I left a pan on the stove."  

We told him he could only smoke in the bathroom or outside.  That lasted about 1 day.  

I told him we were having other visitors on the weekend and we didn't have enough room for him to stay.  This was true but I was also trying to get rid of him.  He said he would move out to a hotel for the weekend and then move back in and would enjoy meeting our guests and hanging out with all of us.  If that happened, we would probably lose these friends.  

I called up DH and said, all right, my week is ruined and he's not staying past Friday. He's got to go.  DH agreed.  I told Ted that he wasn't looking for a job, we can't get him a job and he would have to go because my job started next week and I wasn't going to have guests while DH and I were both gone during the day.

He left.  Not happy.  I know the guy has mental problems but his dad was rich and we were not and that was my lost week.  


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Re: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories
« Reply #83 on: August 04, 2009, 02:49:30 AM »

ooh, I just remembered another one. Gate-crashin' Cousin (GC), so named because of the story that got him featured on the main site - he turned up invited to a wedding with another guest who hadn't RSVP'd, complained loudly about everything, and the only thing he said the bride all day was "my name was spelled wrong on my placecard". Considering his same has a few random vowels and silent letters, they did they best they could with zero notice.

Well, GC was coming to OurState to attend an entertainment convention (for pleasure, not business). FMIL and FFIL offered him the use of their guest room while he was here. He accepted. He ate constantly, and did not bring his own food nor offer to replace that which he ate (including half of a cake that was in the fridge). He either did not bathe or did not change his clothes. After deliberating giving him clean towels, suggesting that if he had forgotten deodorant or soap there was some in the guest bathroom, FMIL snapped. He came home wet (caught in the rain), so she basically shoved him into the bathroom and confiscated his clothes so she could wash them.

When he wasn't at the convention, he spent all of his time on FFIL's computer, exiting the office only to eat, and basically ignoring any attempts at conversation anyone made. The day he was scheduled to leave, he accepted FFIL's offer of a lift to the train station later that day. While FFIL was doing something out the back, GC grabbed his bags and left, without saying a word. FFIL was worried, since GC hadn't said he was leaving, so he called GC's mobile and was told, "Oh, it's all good" and was hung up on.

GC never thanked them for their hospitality. After he left, they had to have their computer fixed because he'd been viewing some very disturbing japanese scrabble sites and got a bunch of viruses onto the computer. The room he stayed in was left completely filthy and sour-smelling, and there was food in and under the bed. GC is not welcome back there.


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Re: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories
« Reply #84 on: August 06, 2009, 12:26:33 AM »
Here's one

At university I was an active member of a long running "Fun Activity" club, and after I finished uni and moved to MyCity I stayed in touch with the club in general and many of the friends I had made there. One of my acquaintances from the club - let's call him Loopy, who was someone I knew but wasn't especially close to,  e-mailed me and asked whether he and Bob (who I hadn't met before) could stay at my place while attending Fun Activity Event in MyCity. I cleared it with my flatmates, and said fine.

Come the first night of Fun Activity Event weekend, and Loopy turns up with Bob and Jim in tow. This is the first I'd ever heard of Jim. I raised an eyebrow and made apologetic noises in private to my flatmates, but didn't say anything to Loopy at that point.
The second evening of Fun Activity Event weekend, and Loopy turns up again with Bob, Jim and Barbie, and lo and behold, Barbie is carrying her bags. She wanders through my house with her nose in the air, and doesn't even say "Hello" much less introduces herself and asks whether I mind if she stays too.

I am very much Not Happy. Scratch that. I am furious. I request that she joins me on the outside where I said "Hi. My name is S..... I live here. Who the h... are you?" Not very polite I know, but I think she gets the point pretty quickly, as the attitude disappears and is replaced by something close to abject terror. Out pours a tale of woe about her original accommodation plans falling through when someone's parents returned unexpectedly and having nowhere to stay the night. Loopy had told her that it would be fine for her to stay at my place, but hadn't thought to run it by me first, but he hadn't thought to, I dunno, drop me a txt about it or anything. I'm still not happy, but I'm not going to kick her out on the street. I tell her not to take Loopy's word about this sort of thing, and to have some money or a credit card on hand for emergency youth hostel accommodation in the future.

A little later I corner Loopy in the kitchen (in front of one flatmate) and ask him how many people were going to be sleeping on my lounge floor that night, and whether he was going to ever ask me if it was ok? He shrugs his shoulders and  - get this - grunts at me (anger level goes to incandescent), and tries to sidle past (Nuh-uh not going to happen). I point out that I was deciding whether or not to kick him out on his rear and that grunts weren't going to cut it. I also point out that if he had asked it would have been fine, but that just assuming was Very Much Not On, especially since I have flatmates to be considerate of. Cue grovelling apologies, at last.

I didn't kick him out, but he won't be welcome back. I must have been fearsome because flatmate later remarked that she never wanted me to get mad at her.
Bob and Jim - lovely guys, very polite and didn't really deserve to get caught up in this, and Barbie was OK too, once I'd reminded her that actually greeting her hostess was a good idea. 

"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude."  - Oscar Wilde


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Re: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories
« Reply #85 on: August 06, 2009, 02:21:37 AM »
Not mine, but my neighbour Sally lived in BigCity, while her brother Andy lived in SmallTown.
BG: Andy had gone through a messy divorce and was seeing a lot of women just for the sake of avoiding lonliness. One of these women was Cassie, who Sally had met once before. Andy and his kids have often stayed with Sally on previous trips to BigCity, when Andy is required to visit for work.

Andy brings down Cassie and two of her younger kids to stay in BigCity with Sally while he worked. Cassie and her kids complained loudly about Sally's cooking, the kids spent hours on the computer and downloaded heaps of things without permission, Cassie would often leave the kids in Sally's care without a word for hours on end. Worse still, when she saw Sally pour herself a well-earned glass of wine, she not-so-discreetly told Andy she wasn't too comfortable staying in the house with an alcoholic! Mind you, she can't have minded too much, seeing as she left the kids for eight hours with Sally the next day.
"Any idiot can face a crisis, it is this day-to-day living that wears you out". Chekhov.


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Re: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories
« Reply #86 on: August 12, 2009, 05:52:12 PM »
Little update on CCD (cousin's crazy daughter) from my long-winded earlier post:

Turns out that in her e-mail to my FIL, she not only mentioned renting a place at the lake, but renting a boat as well.  And that she would invite my DH to stay with her on the boat.  Yeah.  There was also a story about her bringing a dead frog with her on her 8 hour car trip and 'embalming' it in front of my nephews.   :-X

My ILs haven't had the best luck with extended family visiting their place this summer.  The week after CCD left, my BIL's brother and his family came to stay.  Along with their daughter's persistent (known to them but undisclosed to the hosts and other guests) headlice problem.  Daughter was required to sleep in a tent outside on the lawn (very protected area, nights were plenty warm enough).  My SIL was stuck on lice removal duty since previous treatments hadn't worked (and the parents weren't too bothered by it anyway), and she was NOT going to risk having her nephews catch it.  The jury's still out as to whether they'll get invited back.


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Re: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories
« Reply #87 on: August 12, 2009, 08:27:43 PM »
Turns out that in her e-mail to my FIL, she not only mentioned renting a place at the lake, but renting a boat as well.  And that she would invite my DH to stay with her on the boat.  Yeah.  There was also a story about her bringing a dead frog with her on her 8 hour car trip and 'embalming' it in front of my nephews.   :-X

Wow. She sounds genuinely mentally ill to me, or getting there fast.


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Re: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories
« Reply #88 on: August 12, 2009, 10:28:57 PM »
When I first moved to my hubby's hometown I had two 'friends', to use the term loosely, (Pam and Kelly) visit me the night of the AFL grand final. It was supposed to be a visit, but it came out during the visit that they actually wanted to go out partying in my town if our home team won, and then crash in our spare bedroom.

Hubby and I were planning on having a few quiet drinks that evening to celebrate the teams win, and then turn in early as i had work at 6:45am the next morning. Pam and Kelly whined and moaned until I agreed to go dancing with them at the local club, but I made sure they knew that hubby and I would only be staying an hour, tops.

That hour was the hour from hell. Pam downed at least 11 Jager Bombs and got so disgustingly drunk people still talk about it today. She was stumbling around, making a total fool of herself, hanging off hubby's friend trying to put the moves on him (with his GF standing right there) and just being obnoxious. I tried to get her to sit, she wouldn't. I tried to get hr to leave with me, she definately wasn't having any of that.

I ended up giving Kelly the spare key to our place and leaving with hubby. We went home, crawled into bed and fell asleep. A couple of hours later, we woke up to someone leaning on the doorbell. When we opened the door, Kelly dragged Pam into the house, dumped her into the shower fully clothed, turned on the cold water, and then walked out of the house and into the waiting car to continue her partying. To Be continued...
Wherever you are... that's where you happen to have gone.


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Re: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories
« Reply #89 on: August 12, 2009, 10:32:18 PM »
So I ended up having to undress Pam, who had vomit all over her, dry her off, then drag her to bed and try to dress her (She wouldn't let me). I tried to give her coffee but she wouldn't take it. I put a bucket near her, turned off the light and went to bed. I told hubby that if there was vomit on the bedsheets the next morning he was to make Pam wash them.

I went to work the next morning and came home to find them gone. I never invited them over, and cut off all contact with them soon after, for this and various other reasons.
Wherever you are... that's where you happen to have gone.