Author Topic: ". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories  (Read 87049 times)

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Slartibartfast

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This is kind of an ongoing issue, unfortunately . . .

About a year ago, I started up a weekly "playdate" with a bunch of my SAHM friends.  Our kids ranged from newborn to three years old, so it was one part kids playing, one part lunch, and one part letting us chat  :P  Most of us were already in the same social circle, but I had met one other mom through a different social group and I thought she'd fit in really well.  She was interested, we put her on the email loop, and all seemed well.  Except -

She never would change her kids' diapers.  It was nasty.  She had two kids, one under a year and one around two years old, and being kids they would occasionally soil their diapers.  She wouldn't do anything about it, though, just sit back and let them play.  Even with pointed comments from us other moms about "Phew, someone's stinky!  *picks up own child* Nope, not you!  I think it might be [her kid's name], OtherMom!"  She'd just shrug and say "Yeah, probably!" and not move.  I do understand that some parents prefer not to change diapers at every little half-teaspoon because they'd go through fifty diapers a day, but these poor kids would have their diapers sagging under the load and she wouldn't do anything unless they were actually leaking.

We usually switched around who was hosting, but eventually everyone started to be "busy" and it really was because of this one mom.  I would probably have gone for a more pointed approach first (dumping the kid in her lap and pointing her toward the changing table) but my other mom friends just didn't want to be around her kids.  The thing is, other than the diaper thing, she gets along great with the group.  I'm hoping that in a few years when her kids are older and not in diapers anymore, it won't be such a big deal (and it won't be a hint of pervasive lack-of-parenting issues to come).

Nemesis

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Maybe she has a problem affording disposable diapers? Or maybe she's like my spouse who truly believed that we should not waste, and diapers should not be changed unless they are COMPLETELY full.

Note: My spouse changed his mind after I asked him to not wipe his bum for at least 4 hours after he does a "big one" and see how he feels about it.

Venus193

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2) The guest whose son was incredibly immature for his age, 7. He let a stuffed frog "speak" for him.  He insisted all of the adults at a dinner at our house pet and speak to the stuffed frog. He went into our 2 yo son's room and saw that DS has a stuffed frog I'd just brought back for him from a trip to NYC.  The frog was on top of son's dresser. He climbed up on the dresser and dragged it down. 

6 yo DD, who is very protective of brother, protested and Guest's Son shoved her to the floor.  She chased him around the house, trying to get the frog back.  He hit her several times before we caught up to them. Guest's Son pitched a huge tantrum when I took the frog.  Instead of disciplining him for hitting my daughter, his parents said, "Well, frogs are his thing." which I guess means no other children within a 50 mile radius are allowed
to own stuffed frogs.

I took the frog and put it in my closet, where Guest's Son couldn't get to it, then returned to cooking dinner. I heard a crash and realized Guest's Son had gone into my closet, stood up on a shelf, and knocked down a rack of shoes to get to the frog. 

His parents did nothing to correct the behavior, except to say, "Couldn't we just share the frog?"  and it took me a minute and several more comments from them to realize they meant they wanted me to give their son the frog!  I explained it was a gift to my son, that it wouldn't be possible.  Mom huffed, "Well, in our family we share with guests." I put the frog in my locked car and will never invite them to our house again.

I would have handed this family their coats right after the bolded.  I would have been too stressed by the subsequent behaviors to have been an effective hostess.

However, after all that I'm sure this family got crossed off the other guests' future guest lists.

weeblewobble

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Hmm, I didn't realize locking or not locking the bathroom door would be a matter of debate.  :)

In my region, most people keep their bathroom doors shut full-time. The norm is that if you're using the restroom in a crowded house, you lock the door.  The noise of the party could drown out the knocks of the approaching guest or the response of the guest inside the bathroom.  And to be honest, it wasn't so much that she didin't lock the door but that she made such a loud fuss about the consequences.

Diane AKA Traska

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I have cats.  I have toilet paper.  The bathroom door stays shut.  :)

That said, our door doesn't even have a lock.  So, yeah.  I knock before I open.  If the door had a lock, I would so use the heck out of that.
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Piratelvr1121

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This is kind of an ongoing issue, unfortunately . . .

About a year ago, I started up a weekly "playdate" with a bunch of my SAHM friends.  Our kids ranged from newborn to three years old, so it was one part kids playing, one part lunch, and one part letting us chat  :P  Most of us were already in the same social circle, but I had met one other mom through a different social group and I thought she'd fit in really well.  She was interested, we put her on the email loop, and all seemed well.  Except -

She never would change her kids' diapers.  It was nasty.  She had two kids, one under a year and one around two years old, and being kids they would occasionally soil their diapers.  She wouldn't do anything about it, though, just sit back and let them play.  Even with pointed comments from us other moms about "Phew, someone's stinky!  *picks up own child* Nope, not you!  I think it might be [her kid's name], OtherMom!"  She'd just shrug and say "Yeah, probably!" and not move.  I do understand that some parents prefer not to change diapers at every little half-teaspoon because they'd go through fifty diapers a day, but these poor kids would have their diapers sagging under the load and she wouldn't do anything unless they were actually leaking.

We usually switched around who was hosting, but eventually everyone started to be "busy" and it really was because of this one mom.  I would probably have gone for a more pointed approach first (dumping the kid in her lap and pointing her toward the changing table) but my other mom friends just didn't want to be around her kids.  The thing is, other than the diaper thing, she gets along great with the group.  I'm hoping that in a few years when her kids are older and not in diapers anymore, it won't be such a big deal (and it won't be a hint of pervasive lack-of-parenting issues to come).

It's one of my pet-peeves when people allow their children's diapers to dangle down between their knees.  :P I saw a girl at the park one day, while there with the boys, who's diaper was visible beneath the hem of her knee-length dress.   I wonder often if they would walk around with their underwear that full of...stuff.   Probably not.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Kinseyanne

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This is the story of how lucky I can be, and how we never speak to my SO's uncle, wife, or son (S).

(this story deals with implied adult subject matter)

This was about two years ago, I had been seeing my SO for about a year at the time.  S was about seventeen, and had been behaving borderline inappropriately toward me for the entire time I knew him.  The kind of inappropriate that it's hard to call someone on but still makes you uncomfortable, like hugging a little too long, or always finding an excuse to touch.   My SO's brother (R) decided to host a BBQ to celebrate my SO graduating from a culinary program.  R probably spent hundreds on meats, drinks, etc.  My SO decided to show off his new skills and made huge amounts of deserts.  (family tradition, they always go overboard on food and they have standing arrangements with either the Salvation Army or their grandmother's church to donated usable leftovers for their lunch the next day.)

Day of the BBQ, everything goes well.  The party starts breaking up and we're left with me, my SO, R and family, Uncle and family hanging out chatting.  S says he's going to get another soda and asks if I want one.  I say sure and he brings me an open can.  The guys (minus S) meander off to show off some new car thing.  I start feeling really woozy and out of sorts.  S says "let me help you inside" and leads me to the door.  That's the extent of my memory of the day.

What I've been told happened is:  S brought me inside.  R had seen him and told my SO that I didn't look so good so he came in to check on me and decided to bring me to the hospital.  S apparently told my SO that he had been taking care of me and everything was fine.  R and his wife come with us, Uncle and family offer to clean up. There were some very questionable results to my blood work,  but nothing conclusive enough to be able to involve police.  I came to my senses and was released about 6 hours later.

Uncle and family did, in fact, clean up.  They packed up all the remaining food and soda, and loaded it into their cars.  They also took all the left over paper plates, cups, plastic silverware, napkins etc.  They even took the table clothes.  They took uncooked meat that R had just in case he had underestimated usage or more people showed up than planned. 

R and my SO went the next day and confronted him about taking every thing from the picnic, and about what they suspected their son was trying to do to me, and Uncle told them "you asked me to clean up and told me to take whatever I wanted.  Consider the food payment for cleaning up.  As for your friend, you have no way to prove he was 'trying' to do anything with her, and even if he was what'd do you do? Boys will be boys and it's not like he succeeded."

Neither my SO or his brother have spoken to these people since this incident to the point that he will outright hang up on them if they call.  We have heard through the grapevine that they lament our lack of contact as us being "dramatic" or saying they hate the fact that a "misunderstanding" caused such a rift.  Yeah.  We're dramatic for not including a (now 19 year old) boy who displayed criminal behavior, and his uncle who at best was horribly rude and took advantage of the situation to get a ton of free food.
Live believing dreams are for weaving.  Wonders are waiting to start.  Live your story: Faith, Hope and Glory.  Hold to the truth in your heart.

Piratelvr1121

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 :o :o :o :o :o

*Piratelvr is currently appalled and speechless while glad nothing worse happened to Kinseyanne!*
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

The Wild One, Forever

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This is the story of how lucky I can be, and how we never speak to my SO's uncle, wife, or son (S).

(this story deals with implied adult subject matter)

This was about two years ago, I had been seeing my SO for about a year at the time.  S was about seventeen, and had been behaving borderline inappropriately toward me for the entire time I knew him.  The kind of inappropriate that it's hard to call someone on but still makes you uncomfortable, like hugging a little too long, or always finding an excuse to touch.   My SO's brother (R) decided to host a BBQ to celebrate my SO graduating from a culinary program.  R probably spent hundreds on meats, drinks, etc.  My SO decided to show off his new skills and made huge amounts of deserts.  (family tradition, they always go overboard on food and they have standing arrangements with either the Salvation Army or their grandmother's church to donated usable leftovers for their lunch the next day.)

Day of the BBQ, everything goes well.  The party starts breaking up and we're left with me, my SO, R and family, Uncle and family hanging out chatting.  S says he's going to get another soda and asks if I want one.  I say sure and he brings me an open can.  The guys (minus S) meander off to show off some new car thing.  I start feeling really woozy and out of sorts.  S says "let me help you inside" and leads me to the door.  That's the extent of my memory of the day.

What I've been told happened is:  S brought me inside.  R had seen him and told my SO that I didn't look so good so he came in to check on me and decided to bring me to the hospital.  S apparently told my SO that he had been taking care of me and everything was fine.  R and his wife come with us, Uncle and family offer to clean up. There were some very questionable results to my blood work,  but nothing conclusive enough to be able to involve police.  I came to my senses and was released about 6 hours later.

Uncle and family did, in fact, clean up.  They packed up all the remaining food and soda, and loaded it into their cars.  They also took all the left over paper plates, cups, plastic silverware, napkins etc.  They even took the table clothes.  They took uncooked meat that R had just in case he had underestimated usage or more people showed up than planned. 

R and my SO went the next day and confronted him about taking every thing from the picnic, and about what they suspected their son was trying to do to me, and Uncle told them "you asked me to clean up and told me to take whatever I wanted.  Consider the food payment for cleaning up.  As for your friend, you have no way to prove he was 'trying' to do anything with her, and even if he was what'd do you do? Boys will be boys and it's not like he succeeded."

Neither my SO or his brother have spoken to these people since this incident to the point that he will outright hang up on them if they call.  We have heard through the grapevine that they lament our lack of contact as us being "dramatic" or saying they hate the fact that a "misunderstanding" caused such a rift.  Yeah.  We're dramatic for not including a (now 19 year old) boy who displayed criminal behavior, and his uncle who at best was horribly rude and took advantage of the situation to get a ton of free food.

What???   :o

Not trying to stray into legal territory, but I would have done a whole lot more than not invite them over anymore.  I am surprised that your SO didn't go have a little "man to man" with the perp who evidently spiked your drink.  If that happened to a woman in my family, I shudder to think what the men who love us would have done. 
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Kinseyanne

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I am under the impression that my brother and a couple of his friends, who were in high school with the boy at the time, cornered him and put the fear of deity into him after hearing about it. 
Live believing dreams are for weaving.  Wonders are waiting to start.  Live your story: Faith, Hope and Glory.  Hold to the truth in your heart.

Steve

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I must say, I believe I like your brother...



Diane AKA Traska

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I... I had to reread that a few times so I could be sure I read what I read.  I can say nothing else, as anything I could say would probably get me banned for life sue to desires of violence.  Oh word.
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Piratelvr1121

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"you asked me to clean up and told me to take whatever I wanted.  Consider the food payment for cleaning up.  As for your friend, you have no way to prove he was 'trying' to do anything with her, and even if he was what'd do you do? Boys will be boys and it's not like he succeeded."


If I heard that with my own ears...let's just say I usually don't have much of a temper but that would have me turning several shades of red and going beserk. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

squashedfrog

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 :o

I think I'm suffering from a severely gasted flabber!

Kinseyanne

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My SO says at the time if he could have gotten his hands on the kid he probably would have killed him.  Retrospectively, since we had already been told there was no way for police to get involved, having my 17-yo brother and his also teenage friends corner him and knock him around for it ended with no one going to jail, which probably wouldn't have happened if my adult SO went after a minor. 

His brother once told me that the uncle was getting consequences he never knew he would get.  Their grandmother (uncle's mom) had asked about the rift and R had no problem explaining the whole situation to her.  Apparently, she was supporting Uncle in more ways than anyone knew and she has made his life very difficult since then. 
Live believing dreams are for weaving.  Wonders are waiting to start.  Live your story: Faith, Hope and Glory.  Hold to the truth in your heart.