". . . And s/he was NOT invited back!" - share your rudest guest stories

[Hillia]

Ah, my DH's brother.  What a peach of a guy he is.

About 4 years ago, DH and I weren't married yet but were sharing a home.  We invited his family (parents and BIL) to spend Christmas with us, along with my mom.  It was a tight squeeze but our house at the time was big enough that everyone had a bed.

Our dining room chairs were in pretty bad shape, so we went to IKEA and bought some replacements.  These weren't particularly fabulous or expensive chairs, but sturdy enough.  BIL is a very big man - 400+ lbs.  I knew there was a good chance the chairs he sat in would be damaged, and that was ok - that's why they were sturdy-but-inexpensive.  He didn't just sit in his chair, he wiggled, tipped back, etc...and after a few days, when all the joints were loosened, complained that we had given him the broken chair.  I didn't mind that the chair was damaged, but don't complain about it as though we deliberately gave you substandard seating.

Christmas dinner...my mom and I are diabetic, MIL is pre-diabetic, and everyone except FIL is pretty overweight.  So in addition to the regular desserts (various pies from a local bakery), I had one sugar free cherry pie.  If you've ever had one, they are usually a little tart, but actually more cherry-tasting than anything.  They don't taste like a Hostess fruit pie, for sure, but they are quite tasty and not what I would consider 'out there' or hard to eat, and I'm a pretty non-adventurous eater.

I made a production out of letting people know that the pie was sugar free.  BIL took a big piece, then a big bite, then SPAT the mouthful onto his plate.  'Oh, that's disgusting...that's so gross...ewwww, it's so sour....ewwwww'.  He was 28 at the time.

BIL was looking at some photo albums.  MIL had dug through some boxes and given me snapshots from DH's youth.  One of them I had taken to Walgreen's and had enlarged to 8x10 and framed.  BIL saw that and was quite jealous.  So he went through the photo albums and took about 7 snapshots - just took them, didn't ask.  I asked him to be sure to get them back to me if he wanted to make copies...about 6 months later, I got poor quality scans of them in my email.

We see a lot more of BIL these days due to various events, but I'm also a lot more direct with him.

[Winterlight]

His brother once told me that the uncle was getting consequences he never knew he would get.  Their grandmother (uncle's mom) had asked about the rift and R had no problem explaining the whole situation to her.  Apparently, she was supporting Uncle in more ways than anyone knew and she has made his life very difficult since then.

Glad to hear it!

*shudders, hugs Kinseyanne (after asking permission!)*

[MerryCat]

(((Kinseyanne!))) I'm so glad glad nothing worse happened to you!

[kherbert05]

I am under the impression that my brother and a couple of his friends, who were in high school with the boy at the time, cornered him and put the fear of deity into him after hearing about it.

I hope they did more than that. I hope they made sure every girl at that school knew that brat was a dangerous sociopath and to stay away from him.

[Nora]

Kinseyanne: that freaked me right the flip out! What a creep!!!!

[Piratelvr1121]

I am under the impression that my brother and a couple of his friends, who were in high school with the boy at the time, cornered him and put the fear of deity into him after hearing about it.

I hope they did more than that. I hope they made sure every girl at that school knew that brat was a dangerous sociopath and to stay away from him.

No kidding.  I'd want to know so I could steer clear, and it scares me that someone would do that in that setting. I mean, *hopefully* everyone knows that when you go to a bar to never leave your drink unsupervised and get your own drinks to make sure you don't get anything that's spiked with something other than alcohol.   But who would expect such a thing to happen at a family gathering?

[Petticoats]

I am under the impression that my brother and a couple of his friends, who were in high school with the boy at the time, cornered him and put the fear of deity into him after hearing about it.

I hope they did more than that. I hope they made sure every girl at that school knew that brat was a dangerous sociopath and to stay away from him.

No kidding.  I'd want to know so I could steer clear, and it scares me that someone would do that in that setting. I mean, *hopefully* everyone knows that when you go to a bar to never leave your drink unsupervised and get your own drinks to make sure you don't get anything that's spiked with something other than alcohol.   But who would expect such a thing to happen at a family gathering?

I'm also chilled by the knowledge that this creep had the forethought to get ahold of (presumably) roofie to bring to said family gathering. The planning ahead--that's what makes this guy really, really frightening to me.

[faithlessone]

I am under the impression that my brother and a couple of his friends, who were in high school with the boy at the time, cornered him and put the fear of deity into him after hearing about it.

I hope they did more than that. I hope they made sure every girl at that school knew that brat was a dangerous sociopath and to stay away from him.

No kidding.  I'd want to know so I could steer clear, and it scares me that someone would do that in that setting. I mean, *hopefully* everyone knows that when you go to a bar to never leave your drink unsupervised and get your own drinks to make sure you don't get anything that's spiked with something other than alcohol.   But who would expect such a thing to happen at a family gathering?

I'm also chilled by the knowledge that this creep had the forethought to get ahold of (presumably) roofie to bring to said family gathering. The planning ahead--that's what makes this guy really, really frightening to me.

That's what scared me! I wonder how long he'd been carrying them around, waiting for an opportunity, or if he's done it to someone else?

[Giggity]

Does anyone else find it odd that this guy was target-shopping at a family event? He sounds like the origin of a Jeff Foxworthy joke.

[LeeLee88]

Does anyone else find it odd that this guy was target-shopping at a family event? He sounds like the origin of a Jeff Foxworthy joke.

After getting over my initial, profound horror, I found myself thinking, "Oh sure, people say my family's bad because we're West Virginian!  Well, we never tried anything as redneck as going for family!"  Actually, the whole family aspect takes this to an even darker level of creepy.  I must go bleach myself. 

[Celany]

Does anyone else find it odd that this guy was target-shopping at a family event? He sounds like the origin of a Jeff Foxworthy joke.

Unfortunately, we've got a couple of those in my family. Creepy, creepy creepers. It's like my dad's side of the family has the genes for "really really messed up, no matter what". None of them have tried that exact trick before, but they've done comparable stuff. I don't go to family reunions on my dad's side anymore, because it's a combination of people who could be on Jerry Springer and people who are actually too screwy to be on Jerry Springer. My grandma (dad's mom), my dad, his sister, and one cousin are the only remotely normal ones of the lot.

[NotTheNarcissist]

Rudest guest stories. I only have 1 visitor that is rude: my SIL. Here are a few snippets:

• I had just gotten in our hot tub when my cell phone rang. Since it was on a table about 15 feet away, SIL took it upon herself to pick it up. Presumably, she was attempting to be helpful & was going to bring it to me so I could answer my phone call. This is not what happened. She then took it out of the case, saw who was calling (her sister whom she hates with a passion), and handed the phone not to me, but to her elderly and easily confused mother. Mother says "What? What?" clearly confused as to why a phone was shoved into her hand, then shoved to her ear. I hear SIL's husband mumble: "That call was not for you dear." Caller hung up & phone was placed back in it's place on the table.
• When we open our home for family dinners and cookouts, this SIL barrels through my door with something like 15 bags from Wal-Mart and takes over our kitchen. It doesn't matter what the menu is, or that great lengths have been gone to to provide a delicious meal by DH and I and others; she brings what she wants, not what DH and I prefer. She calls DH because he can't tell her 'no' and says that she and her DH do not want __insert name of dish I am planning to prepare__ so can we just bring __insert name of dish she wants to prepare__? This is rude in itself, but when she arrives, it's her overall tone of owning the place that the term 'boundary trampling' to a new level. For the record, my respectful step-daughter prepares food in my kitchen and I have no issues at all or hesitation at her using my kitchen because she respects me. Tone changes everything.
• I have asked SIL to not bring a certain item due to dietary reasons, and she went out of her way to bring it anyway. Even smiling right at me when she pulled it out of the bag... who does that?

Now some will argue with me on this one (& possibly others), and I understand that. Based on 10 years of her boundary trampling (not just my boundaries, but all family members), my opinion of my SIL is quite smudged, and I confess I cannot be objective when she is in the equation, although the last few years I have tried very hard to accept her where she is with all her stuff. Anyway, here's one more guest-related SIL story:

• SIL & her hubby & her mother are visiting us. Day draws into night, and it gets rather late. We invite the 3 of them to spend the night. I am fine so far with all of this & confirm w/DH that in the morning, we'll take them out to breakfast.. When taking them to the guest bedroom, I say, in the morning, DH and I have a lovely breakfast spot we would love to take you all to. They agree to this plan. Next morning, I wake up, not realizing I needed to be up at the crack of dawn. SIL has prepared a breakfast after agreeing to go out to breakfast the night before. I sleep with earplugs due to DH's snoring & did not hear any noise to alert me, nor did I smell anything until I opened my door. What is going on? I ask myself. Angry and hurt because once again, she has usurped my authority in my own home. I go ahead and eat, absolutely dumbfounded that one person could be so obtuse in the etiquette department as to not honor the wishes of the host and hostess. I find out about a week later that DH said "Hey! Why don't YOU cook breakfast?" to her. Next wave of anger and hurt flood me. Am I invisible? At least to SIL & DH, it felt like it. Even with this new information, the etiquette-approved response, IMHO, would be: "I think that is a fine idea; however, last night, NotTheNarcissist mentioned going out to breakfast. I don't want to step on her toes, so let's ask her first. It's her home too." I know that I should be grateful for a good breakfast and let it go, but this has been a hard one for me to swallow because it's a repeated thing she does - take over my kitchen. No other company does this, and we have a TON of company and host a LOT of meals for family & friends. She is the only one that does this.

To this day, I hide my cell phone, purse and all private papers from this SIL. Pointing to the first example I gave:

• I have seen her rummage through her nephew's wallet when he was in the shower, examining the contents like a detective, studying each item with great interest. Then scrambling to put the wallet back just like it was when he came out of the bathroom after the shower.
• I have seen her rummage through the trash can at the ER searching for clues as to what medication ER gave her sister (the one she hates).
• I have seen her deny the same sister OTC medication for stomach pain, declaring that she deserved to suffer. This happened immediately after I met her. Today I would step in and her sister would get her quite reasonable request.
• She once told a group of my sweet friends' that while it was acceptable to pray for me, absolutely positively I did not want any visitors in the hospital, which was not true at all. I never said those words! Although I was grateful she asked folks to pray for me, hurt that my friends might have thought I didn't want to see them.
• She found out that her mother went to a church counselor/pastor for confidential advice. Instead of respecting her mother's privacy, she approached the counselor/pastor & asked what they talked about. To my shock, the counselor/pastor violated MIL's rights & repeated the counseling session conversation to my control freak SIL. She started to tell my DH what his mom confided to the counselor/pastor but DH stopped her. I didn't know who to be more angry with, control freak SIL or counselor/pastor.

I tried to keep it "rudest guest stories" but towards the end, it became a rant. It is mostly rudest guest stories though. Truly, seriously, she is the only rude guest we have ever had. Everyone else is quite respectful.

[Diane AKA Traska]

"declaring that she deserved to suffer".  Yeah, this is where I saw red.

[Venus193]

Kinseyanne, I am outraged at this.  But with parents with this kind of entitlement, it's no wonder that the son gets away with this kind of behavior.

You also made me think of someone who is no longer invited to Eunice's parties.  This guy also hugs and touches in a questionable manner.  However, since he didn't make inappropriate remarks along with this, it was confusing enough that a first repeat of the touching went unaddressed.  During the conversation I had mentioned twice that I had bad knees and that I was experiencing some pain in them.  I couldn't have any alcohol because I was taking antidepressants.  Both times he behaved as though I were telling him this for the first time.

A little while later I was sitting on the couch talking to another guest when this guy came into the room, bent over to pick something up from the coffee table, then straddled my knees and started to sit.  I yelled at him not to and he ignored me.  I yelled again, reminding him of my bad knees.  He ignored me again.  His wife heard me the second time and told him "Get over here!"  He tried to behave as though he had no idea he was doing anything wrong as he complied.  She asked me whether I had previously mentioned  my knee problems; I told her "Twice."

She was not pleased.

I got up from the couch, went to the bathroom, then got my coat.   Two days later I told Eunice about this and she remembered a similar experience she had with this guy (who, BTW, is more than old enough to know better).  I was kicking myself for not objecting to the touching (I am very touchphobic) and for not hitting him in the backside when he refused to listen to my orders to not sit down on me.

He is now banned from all of Eunice's future parties.

Another ban Eunice issued was on a guest who arrived early and proceeded to eat all the cold shrimp. Neither she nor I could figure out how to tell him he was being rude by doing that.  It is also customary for that occasion for guests to bring something and he never did, nor reciprocate the hospitality.

He crashed a party of hers a few years later, but we couldn't figure out a polite way to tell him he wasn't invited in the first place.

[rose red]

^ Who's Eunice? 

I understand the story anyway, but would like to know how people are connected.  Thanks.