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Author Topic: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident  (Read 9135 times)

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Ashy

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About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« on: July 31, 2009, 06:07:27 AM »
Hi everyone-

I'm a newbie to the forum, but I've been reading the main site for five years. Now that I'm a part of the forum, I've been reading all the archived EHell Classics threads. I came across this one:

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=5710.0

It's about the drunk who plowed into a driver's ed car and the 15 year old student was blamed.  Well, that girl was me.  I know its an old thread, but if anyone would care for an update/clarification on the story I'd be more than happy to share. ;D I just don't want to get into it unless anyone actually still cares lol.

Great to finally be part of the forum.  :)


Goodnight Kiwi

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2009, 06:20:25 AM »
Ooh, yes please!  Did your parents ever help you out on this?

Edited to correct a typo...and to welcome you to the forum!  :D

MariaE

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2009, 06:28:41 AM »
Oh yes, please let us know! I've been wondering how that turned out.
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice

Ashy

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2009, 07:01:38 AM »
Thanks for the welcome.  :)

I just want to add a few things, since there seemed to be some questions surrounding the involvement of my parents, what should have happened to the drunk and the cops, and why I didn't stand up for myself better.

1-Of course I told my parents. My mom was just glad I was ok, and my (now ex) stepfather really didn't give a rat's behind about what happened (he was a good ol' boy too) as long as he didn't look bad. So he just swept it under the rug. You have to understand, this man was a controlling b*stard of the highest caliber. I actually think he blamed me too, if you want to know the truth. He ran the household, not him and my mom, just him. She had no say in anything most of the time. As I said, she was just happy I was ok. And if she had tried to do something on her own (talk to the cop's supervisor, etc.) they would have just blown her off and talked to my stepfather. I saw this happen in other situations.

2-As for me not standing up for myself when what was happening was obviously wrong, I'll just refer to those nice posters that pointed out that not only was I a scared, shy 15 year old girl, I HAD JUST BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT. Forget the circumstances surrounding the accident, I don't think many people are very cool and calm 10 minutes after they just got slammed by a truck.  Plus, as one poster noted, my instructor should have been the one standing up for all of us. He was the adult....we were just three 15 year old kids that nobody listened to. In his defense, he was the first of us to attempt to point out the beer to the police, and was brushed off. If the police are ignoring the adult in charge, why the h3!! would they listen to me?  Plus, my "wonderful" stepfather, who was the highest authority figure in my life for pretty much my entire childhood (age 6-16) let me know early on that children ALWAYS listened to adults, and women ALWAYS listened to men.

And don't think that I haven't replayed that day a thousand times in the last ten years, and wished I was the person then that I am today. My mom (finally) divorced this man about a year after this incident, and it was only then that I started developing the somewhat bigger backbone I have today.

Oh, and about being an urban legend at my school, I've learned to embrace it lol. :)  I don't talk to most of my old HS classmates anyway...I got the heck out of that town the first opportunity I had!

Winterlight

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2009, 07:09:01 AM »
Glad things worked out for you and your mom. Welcome to the board!
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

evely28

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2009, 11:24:10 AM »
Thank you for the update, along with a happier ending. :)

Asharah

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2009, 11:53:52 AM »
Am glad to hear your Mom kicked domineering bully step-dad to the curb.
Still think Driver's Ed teacher had no business making remarks to you about his bad back.
Asharah

Sabbyfrog2

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2009, 01:08:03 PM »
I always wondered about this post! (And so many others but at least I have some closer here) Welcome to the board!

DottyG

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2009, 01:39:00 PM »
I hadn't read the story before until your link to it above.  And, the whole time I was reading it, I was picturing a scared 15 year old who'd just been hit by a truck.  I didn't blame you a bit for not raising a fuss about it - I sure wouldn't have been able to at that age.  I was a quiet, shy teen.  And, like you, adults were the authority figures - ESPECIALLY the police.

And, then reading your update about your stepfather, I understand even more why you did (and didn't do) what you did.  Makes sense to me.

I'm glad you were ok and don't have any lasting damage from the accident.

Welcome to the forums. :)  I hope we see more of you around here.


ladycrim

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #9 on: July 31, 2009, 03:46:22 PM »
Thank you for the update, and welcome to the board!

Ashy

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #10 on: July 31, 2009, 10:19:35 PM »
Am glad to hear your Mom kicked domineering bully step-dad to the curb.
Still think Driver's Ed teacher had no business making remarks to you about his bad back.


Oh, I know he didn't. He was just a jerk....although he was always very lenient when I turned my History papers in late, and he let me take our quarter final about a week after it was due for everyone else....maybe he did feel bad?  ???


PaintingPastelPrincess

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #11 on: July 31, 2009, 10:28:42 PM »
When I was 15, my parents were kind enough to buy me an old, used, clunker of a car.  The day they bought it, my mom took me out to practice driving in it, and as we were going up a rather steep hill, it blew a head gasket (among other mechanical isses) and died.  The jerk tailgating me bumped into the back of the car and then got out screaming about what a female dog I was for stopping, etc.  (Note: Copious amounts of smoke are at this point billowing out from under the hood.)

I was lucky--I just sat there and cried.  My mom proceeded to get out of the car and yell at the man for 1) Tailgating (here, the person in back is at-fault if they hit the car in front of them, since they should be far enough back to stop safely
2) Not noticing that it was obviously a mechanical issue, not a stupidity issue
3) For calling a 15 year old a female dog, and again for tailgating a car with a HUGE student driver sign posted on the back.

He towed us up the hill with his truck and some rope, and called AAA for us.

I'm glad everything worked out for you in the end! And welcome!

MrsJWine

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #12 on: July 31, 2009, 10:32:32 PM »
Yes, I can definitely see how this might happen.

When I was 16/17, I got into a car accident.  I was going straight through a green light, and a guy from my high school turned left in front of me.  I hit his back right bumper.  Completely his fault.

We pulled into a parking lot, I was in shock, staring at the gallon of milk that had smashed and was dripping all over the front seat and dash board.  Guy got out and said, "Well, looks like there's not much damage.  I think we're all right here."  I was about to nod and just go on with my day when I cop pulled into the lot to investigate.  I am so glad he did!  The right front bumper of my car was a mess.  It wasn't a nice car, not worth any body work, but the headlight needed help.

I'm not aggressive, but I'm not a doormat, either.  If I hadn't been so shocked and inexperienced, there's no way I would have been so ready to comply.


I have a blog.  I hate that word.


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Asharah

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #13 on: August 01, 2009, 02:09:22 PM »
When I was 15, my parents were kind enough to buy me an old, used, clunker of a car.  The day they bought it, my mom took me out to practice driving in it, and as we were going up a rather steep hill, it blew a head gasket (among other mechanical isses) and died.  The jerk tailgating me bumped into the back of the car and then got out screaming about what a female dog I was for stopping, etc.  (Note: Copious amounts of smoke are at this point billowing out from under the hood.)

I was lucky--I just sat there and cried.  My mom proceeded to get out of the car and yell at the man for 1) Tailgating (here, the person in back is at-fault if they hit the car in front of them, since they should be far enough back to stop safely
2) Not noticing that it was obviously a mechanical issue, not a stupidity issue
3) For calling a 15 year old a female dog, and again for tailgating a car with a HUGE student driver sign posted on the back.

He towed us up the hill with his truck and some rope, and called AAA for us.

I'm glad everything worked out for you in the end! And welcome!
Are you one of my sister's kids?
Asharah

PaintingPastelPrincess

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Re: About an old thread-Girl blamed for driver's ed accident
« Reply #14 on: August 01, 2009, 03:43:39 PM »
When I was 15, my parents were kind enough to buy me an old, used, clunker of a car.  The day they bought it, my mom took me out to practice driving in it, and as we were going up a rather steep hill, it blew a head gasket (among other mechanical isses) and died.  The jerk tailgating me bumped into the back of the car and then got out screaming about what a female dog I was for stopping, etc.  (Note: Copious amounts of smoke are at this point billowing out from under the hood.)

I was lucky--I just sat there and cried.  My mom proceeded to get out of the car and yell at the man for 1) Tailgating (here, the person in back is at-fault if they hit the car in front of them, since they should be far enough back to stop safely
2) Not noticing that it was obviously a mechanical issue, not a stupidity issue
3) For calling a 15 year old a female dog, and again for tailgating a car with a HUGE student driver sign posted on the back.

He towed us up the hill with his truck and some rope, and called AAA for us.

I'm glad everything worked out for you in the end! And welcome!
Are you one of my sister's kids?

LOL Only if you're secretly one of my uncles :)  My mom can be pretty cool.  She's got her moments, but if someone's mean to one of her kids she goes all Mama Bear and it can be scary!