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Author Topic: Enough pizza?  (Read 9608 times)

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shhh its me

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Re: Enough pizza?
« Reply #60 on: August 07, 2009, 04:27:13 PM »
The guests have the right to expect a meal when invited to dinner.  These guests weren't given enough food to constitute a full meal. 

It wasn't enough for them, but it was for the grandparents.

So?  If they only want to serve enough for themselves, then they're going to have people declining invitations.  Hosting isn't about what your needs are, it's about your guest's needs are.

See, this is what's getting me - you'd stop going to visit your grandparents because they don't feed you enough?

I think we got away from the original question  and are mostly addressing the theory  can a host provide so little food thatt they are rude?

as far as original question...No we don't think the OP's family were pigs or gluttons for still being hungry. Most people think it was a case of Grandma and Grandpa don't eat that much and didn't realize their guests would be hungry, not them being rude.  OP says she'll just have a snack before or be ready to eat after not that she wont go see Grandma anymore.

edited because I did something weird with the quote boxes
« Last Edit: August 07, 2009, 07:18:27 PM by Merry Mrs Martin »

LyanneB1

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Re: Enough pizza?
« Reply #61 on: August 07, 2009, 05:50:21 PM »
I do not want to hurt my PIL feelings and will not say anything to them about us going home hungry!  That's part of why I was annoyed with the DSs for asking for more food, as it could have given MIL the message 'you didn't provide enough!'

I know DH and I can happily eat more than FIL, and while MIL is on her diet, she eats little low calorie meals often, so isn't often actually hungry.  DS2 is a gannet, but DS1 isn't so when he was hungry still, I did think, hmm not quite enough?  But I wanted other's opinions, and largely the consensus is that PIL did provide a light meal rather than a filling one.  Absolutely that's their choice and it's to be respected.

They don't have guests for meals apart from family - BIL has Sunday lunch with them once a month, and SIL, her DH and 3 children have pizza there once a month.  (The children are the 14 yr old nephew who 'turned up' unexpectedly, 11 yr old nephew and 10 yr old neice.  I've seen the children eat what I think of as healthy portions and SIL's DH eats well too.  SIL doesn't eat a lot.)  Maybe they all eat before coming round!  We only eat there about 3 or 4 times a year, so MIL could be thinking of my DSs of younger than they are in terms of how much they eat?

MIL is 58 and FIL is 63 so they are not particularly elderly! 

Yes, I'll make sure we've had a filling snack before we go, and take a filling side to complement the meal, eg cheese garlic bread or potato wedges & creamy dip.  I'll say to MIL 'the boys seem to be having a growth spurt*, can I bring cheese garlic bread which they love to help me make?' and hope she's not offended!

She knows they love to help cook and have often made cakes etc when PIL come round here, so will not be suprised to hear they've helped cook.

I'm used to having to feed the boys before we go to my sister's for a meal as she is always running late...  we get 'lunch' at about 3.30 at her house, if I serve lunch after 1, I think it's getting late. 

*DS1 seems to be constantly growing.  I had to get him new school trousers in May as the old ones were too short.  And I think he may need new trousers for September.  ::)

Emmy

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Re: Enough pizza?
« Reply #62 on: August 09, 2009, 06:02:35 AM »
The guests have the right to expect a meal when invited to dinner.  These guests weren't given enough food to constitute a full meal. 

It wasn't enough for them, but it was for the grandparents.

This isn't about guests being gluttons--there's a difference between a guest arbitrarily deciding that they wanted a second steak, versus all the guests leaving hungry because there simply wasn't enough food.

But that's my point, who gets to decide what's enough? If I invite over people who would be able to eat two steaks each, am I really expected to serve that much steak?

I can see both points of view here.  I do agree that two slices (one slice for the OP) of a small, thin crusted pizza sounds like smaller portions than most people will eat.  However, sometimes a teenager can devour nearly a whole pizza themselves.  I certainly don't think a host is obligated to provide massive amounts of food to people who may have voracious appetites.  I do think hosts should provide an adequate amount of food, however different people have different ideas of what adequate is.  I don't think the grandparents were deliberately rude, but probably have a different definition of 'adequate' than most people.  It's probably a good idea to have a small meal before the next dinner visit with them.

This is OT, but it seems rude of nephew to expect call and immediately expect a ride, food, and a lift for the next day.  It sounds as though him and the grandparents are close, but I think nephew and his parents should have some consideration for the grandparent's schedule and plans.  In this case, maybe the grandparents didn't have extra food on hand to prepare for the nephew (and I do agree they should have prepared something else for nephew if they had it on hand).

LyanneB1

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Re: Enough pizza?
« Reply #63 on: August 09, 2009, 01:36:30 PM »
....This is OT, but it seems rude of nephew to expect call and immediately expect a ride, food, and a lift for the next day.  It sounds as though him and the grandparents are close, but I think nephew and his parents should have some consideration for the grandparent's schedule and plans.  In this case, maybe the grandparents didn't have extra food on hand to prepare for the nephew (and I do agree they should have prepared something else for nephew if they had it on hand).

It was a bit frustrating.  Nephew spends a lot of time at his grandparents' (my PIL) house, because it's nearer his school, because Grandad takes him football training, because he likes it there...  SIL (nephew's mum) did say to me a while ago she wanted him spending less time there because his parents and younger siblings never saw him - well, it's no good telling me that.  I can't do anything about it.

DH, the boys and I had seen Nephew that morning and asked if he'd be at PIL and he said yes; when we got to PIL's house, they said he wasn't going to be there that day.  We said he thought he was going to be, but they didn't contact him to ask if he was or not, or make sure he ate before coming round.

When FIL was driving to SIL's house to get Nephew (SIL & her DH both drive), MIL said to me 'I don't know why he can't get the bus', and I bean dipped her, thinking 'because you don't suggest it!'.  I don't know if SIL knew he wasn't going to be at home for dinner, she may well have cooked for him.   ::)  Definitely a bean dip happening!


BabyMama

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Re: Enough pizza?
« Reply #64 on: August 24, 2009, 12:35:45 PM »
Your family must be related to mine, my mom factors in about 1 piece of pizza per person. Last time they had pizza I ordered 2 larges and 1 medium pizza for 7 adults and all I heard all night was, "Oh my, this is so much food...why did you get so much? We didn't need that much..." She also tends to order the pizza she would like and doesn't take anyone else into play...so if you aren't going to get full from a spinach and feta pizza, too bad, because that's what you're getting. And she always gets take-and-bake, which is much less filling than, say, Pizza Hut, because there's so much less crust.