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  • March 02, 2015, 02:22:15 PM

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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 221894 times)

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Mel the Redcap

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2040 on: February 24, 2015, 02:29:27 AM »
Dear Holly:

I know you don't like having your claws trimmed, but you were sticking to the carpet. I think it was time.

Love,
The evil claw-clipper.

P.S.: stop sulking. I don't feel guilty at all.  >:D
"Set aphasia to stun!"

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2041 on: February 26, 2015, 06:19:32 AM »
Dear Stephen,

Thanks for those precious moments in life.

Like seeing what looks like a disgusting hairball (or possibly worse) in the middle of the bed, only to realise as you streak past me and sink your teeth into it that it is your bedraggled and gutted catnip mouse...

You definitely need a new one.

Regards,
Mum.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2042 on: February 26, 2015, 05:59:08 PM »
Dear Xena,

Why are bellyrubs only an outside thing?  When you're inside, you usually don't want petting at all, only food, but outside you're constantly underfoot and demanding all my attention.  Are you afraid of going to the vet again?  You should be, you're due for shots in a month or so, but that shouldn't be as traumatic as getting spayed.

Love,
The human

Mel the Redcap

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2043 on: Today at 04:23:38 AM »
Dear Holly,

While you are slightly more varied in your communications than April (she who uses "MEEEEEeeeeeeeee!" for pretty well everything she wants to express that isn't covered by purring), I would appreciate it if you could put some extra effort into distinguishing your various utterances from each other. At the moment, you seem to use "nnnngmmmr?" for:

- "I'm hungry"
- "I'm thirsty"
- "I'm sad"
- "I'm bored"
- "I want pettins"
- "I want to play fetch with this crocheted thing that I totally did not steal out of your project bag"
- "I want attention and am about to break something in order to get it"
- "April dropped a stinker in my kitty litter and I want to use it so you need to clean it out now"

and, on one memorable occasion,

- "Hey, mum? I found a new toy and am now carrying it around in my mouth! It's a live venomous spider. I want to show it to you before I eat it. Please hold still while I drop it on your bare foot."

A little more attention to this matter will mean I can answer your needs more quickly and don't have to work my way through each option in turn. It will also reduce the number of incidents where I eventually resort to asking you "What is it you want, girl? Is Timmy down the well? Is that it?!" while you look at me like I'm an idiot.

On a related note, please assign a meaning to your latest new noise. You know, the one you start making when you're at the other end of the house and then continue making while you wander slowly in my general direction, resulting in a loud echoing "nnnGOW! nnnGOW! nnnGOW!" coming down the hallway like the march of doom. I respectfully suggest you assign it to an urgent meaning, as boy howdy is that an attention-getter in the middle of the night.

(Maybe use that one for the spiders.)


Love,
Furless Management.
« Last Edit: Today at 04:25:15 AM by Mel the Redcap »
"Set aphasia to stun!"

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2044 on: Today at 10:01:21 AM »
In Kirk's vernacular (which, to be fair, might not be the same "word" in Aussie) nnnGOW meant "Where are you?"  After his dog-buddy Tasha was put to sleep, he wandered around the house looking for her and crying, "ArrOO? nnnGOW?"   :'(
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