Summer has arrived at last. This involves a certain amount of heat, and I realise that as you wear fur coats, this involves a certain amount of discomfort on your parts. However, as head ape and the person who controls food and icebergs in this house, may I make a few suggestions?
1) Laying on my feet and drooling over them until they're soggy is not a good idea. It's possible I might get up and slip on the lino and crash to the floor. This will not endear you to me, and I might possibly say rude things and flail madly. Not that you would have noticed as you both performed your usual ninja magic and vanished, only to poke your heads around the door later to ask if the noise had stopped.
2) Yes, we have a concrete floor in the bathroom and laundry. This will keep you cool and after 3 years, you know all the best spots. But we do have to close it off at times, to keep the rest of the house cool. Waiting until the humans have vanished and then working in tandem to open the sliding door does not help this matter. I can hear the door slide open, and I get suspicious when you vanish for longer than 10 minutes. Silence is suspicious. Pro pet tip boys: Woof occasionally.
3) I know the unusually long cool period has confused you, but there's no reason to shed your entire coat in 3 days. The current flea problem means you're getting a bath once a week, can't you save it up and let it all go then? It would be easier on all of us.
Sorry about the heat, lads, but we're all going to suffer through this. Hopefully without another 15 day stretch of 45 degree days.