• April 26, 2018, 04:38:14 PM

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Author Topic: What would you have done?  (Read 3025 times)

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Re: What would you have done?
« Reply #45 on: April 23, 2018, 05:54:21 AM »
With respect, I don't see my suggested words in the same light as "begging for a seat".

I suppose you could just sit down without asking... and if someone says "You can't sit there" or "That seat's reserved for someone else" you could just cheerfully ignore them and refuse to move. But I think that would start tipping you (general you, not you specifically, OP) into the realm of rudeness.


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Re: What would you have done?
« Reply #46 on: April 23, 2018, 12:10:02 PM »

1.  Yep, I was sitting less than four feet away from a full table of my husband's relatives.  Not one person came up to me to say hello, I walked over to their table and said hello to everyone.  Then they said "hello" and nothing else, they just sat like bumps on a log until I walked away back to the table where I was saving the seats, even after I told them that I was holding seats for my SIL and niece.

Did you try to engage them in conversation?  Also,  I am not clear on what you mean by they last sentence above.  Did you want them to come over to the table you were saving?   I would probably not think to do that if I were in their shoes.   It's hard to tell from your description if they are intentionally unwelcoming to you or if everyone involved is just awkward. 

I understand the discomfort you described and believe it's OK that you left.  But I don't view asking if there are any seats at a table as "begging for a seat."  Is it possible that your bad experience is coloring your view here?  Whenever I attend an event alone and there is no one there that I know, I do ask about empty seats until I find out.  "Is this seat taken? May I sit here?"  If they refuse I assume it's being saved or already occupied and move on to the next one.

Alternatively I ask one of the hostesses to help me find a seat.

What do you think would have happened if you had gone back over to these ladies once you realized SIL wasn't coming and said  "Well, I guess SIL isn't coming after all.  I hope everything is ok, I haven't been able to reach her.  Do you have room for one more here? I feel so foolish sitting at a table all by myself"?  Do you think they would have declined to let you sit with them?