When the Bean Dip Just Will Not Work.

[Thipu1]

One of the things we enjoy on cruise ships is the pleasant conversation with strangers at meals.  We enjoy meeting people from all over the world and learn much.  Sometimes, things go sour and, no matter how you try, there's no way to fix it. 

I should have figured out that we were in for trouble.  At the lunch table there was a man who claimed to both a Litigation Lawyer and a Medical School Graduate.  He also claimed to be disabled and wasn't allowed to travel much abroad because he needed intravenous nutritional therapy that couldn't be provided in a timely manner after 9-11.  He claimed he couldn't absorb any of his food because he only had about 6 inches of large intestine.   I thought he was full of you-know-what but he led the discussion at the table.

Some innocent talk about the ship led to a detailed discussion of the horrors of macular degeneration, both wet and dry.  A lady from Montreal made a brave play to change the topic.  It worked for a while but our disabled Doctor/Lawyer turned it into a lurid description of what a Pedophile of Rapist would face in prison. 

By this point things were getting crazy.  Mr. Thipu stepped in with a question about fundamentalism.  I knew that wasn't right but things were already so nutty I thought that might wake up people about how crazy the conversation was getting at lunch and turn it back to a rational discussion.

Our Doctor/Lawyer/ Disabled pundit  pooh-poohed it.  He would never discuss anything so volatile as politics or religion.  However, he launched right into a tirade on bankruptcy and how people all over his home-town of Detroit were just walking away and abandoning their houses. 

With this sort of thing going on, dessert at lunch was not sweet. We left.  So did the Lady from Montreal.  We'd had enough and more than enough.

What can you do when Bean-Dipping just doesn't work?             

[Black Delphinium]

Just what you did- cut and run.

That's just awful.  Was he eating, or just sitting there being a boor?

[goblue2539]

I think I'd have started ignoring him and holding my own conversation with the lady from Montreal.  But, I'm not sure how polite that is.  I would also have considered telling him point blank that his conversation wasn't appropriate for a meal and I didn't wish to discuss it any further.  Again, I leave it out here for others to say if that would have been rude or not.

[LibraryLady]

Just say in a very decisive voice  "this subject has become unpleasant,  let us talk about the trips we have planned at the next destination"  and go on from there.  If he persists, say pleasantly but firmly,  "sir, the subject is distastefull, please stop"  and if that doesn't work, say pleasantly "I am sorry, but I must leave as I do not wish to be exposed to this"   and then extend an invitation to a couple or person, "Shall we have coffee in the lounge?"  and if he tries to join, you = "sir you are not welcome, please leave"

How do you like that for a run-on sentence?    

This can only work if a pleasant tone/facial expression is in place and you have enough intestinal fortitude to do so and Thipu1, I think that you do      

LL

[emeraldsage85]

In this situation, leaving is always your best option. If you like the other people at your table you could all meet later for coffee to have a conversation that doesn't include Mr. Boor.

[Lisbeth]

Getting up and leaving is probably your best course of action when someone is trying to dominate the conversation at your expense and bean-dipping doesn't work.

If even that doesn't stop the wind, I'd turn and say, "Sir, this is now a private conversation.  Please excuse us."

And if that still doesn't work, I'd call the ship personnel, security, or whomever is in charge and ask for help.

[Gyburc]

I think you did the best thing.

However, Evil Gyburc has sidled out of her playpen today, and so when I read this:

He claimed he couldn't absorb any of his food because he only had about 6 inches of large intestine.   I thought he was full of you-know-what            

I thought, with only 6 inches of large intestine, I'm sure he is full of you-know-what....