Mods, I hope this is the appropriate place for this. For me it seems like the same situation that "That's an interesting assumption" comes in. I've used that several times already in conversation with the aforementioned person, but that apparently has not sunk in...
BG: Not soon enough to be ex and I are set for mediation for our divorce issues. He has demanded I drop an order in return for exchange for the remaining keys he has to my house /BG
Let me state up front... I don't need legal advice in any way..I just wanted to share with others how I handled a verbally abusive situation and see if you felt I was rude. Well, because at every turn "Not soon enough to be ex" tells me how rude I am.
Verbatim with all typos and such included
******FIRST E-MAIL*******
Subject title: Best Possible Outcome
Hello,
To ensure that the time spent with the mediator is as productive as it can be, we should work with an attitude of trust and co-operation. This means arriving with a willingness to compromise, and a mutual goal of reaching an agreement. If we do not start with a desire to succeed this will be a waste of time and money. The other factors to success have been agreed upon, i.e. <legal matter omitted> .
We need to be honest with each other or this negotiation is doomed to failure. If I enter this process with suspicions, it is much less likely we will reach an agreement. If we fail to reach an agreement, that means back to spending a great deal of money on lawyers.
It has occurred to me, that the reason that getting a garage remote control that will not open the door unless it is reprogrammed, is important to you, is so you can give it to someone that can use it. You have said that there is no one new, but you have placed such importance on getting the remote back, that logically, it suggests there is someone new. This is a no fault state, there is no down side to being honest with me, and if you are honest with me it is more likely we can reach an agreement. Is there someone new? If you say it is none of my business, or it does not matter, you might as well be saying yes there is someone else. If there is not someone new, then why is the remote so important to you? It is time to be honest with me. If you are honest with me it will let me know what the starting point is for this mediation. By being honest with me it will allow me to believe that you are entering this mediation in good faith. If I believe your are negotiation in good faith, it is much more likely that this will not be a waste of money. Please ease, or confirm my suspicions. There is no down side to being honest. It is my hope that we can start this mediation with an expectation of success.
****MY RESPONSE******
Of course you know that my mother visits sometimes. It would be nice if she could park in the garage.
****NEXT E-MAIL FROM HIM****
That does not explained anything, try again, or don't you care if I go into mediation with a good atitude?
****MY NEXT RESPONSE*****
Apparently you are not going to believe the truth, so I have nothing more to say.
****NEXT E-MAIL FROM HIM****
If that is the truth, I will believe you, but that is not very likely.
*****MY FINAL RESPONSE TO HIM**** (this is where I was rude..?)
I am really tired of the constant reminders of your doubts in me. It is abusive and it needs to stop. That is the reason I hired a mediator, please refrain from e-mails of a personal nature.
Ok, so temp check please mighty e-hellions. I'll do my time in e-hell if you say I must.
ETA: I have changed the locks and reprogramed the garage door remote I have in my possession. My biggest concern was the mailbox key which I could not get changed without notifying/arranging through the postal service in my area. It seems he's just soooo focused on why I would ask for the garage door remote at all.
Edit: Changed subject to make it sound better and because I really do know Aggressive is spelled with 2 g's
ETA: Add Non update post #29
