Author Topic: My party comes first!  (Read 4717 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Scritzy

  • Please do not adjust your set.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15895
  • Passing through the iris of the world ...
My party comes first!
« on: December 19, 2006, 03:33:46 PM »
Chip and I spent the weekend with our friends Catarina, Keith, and their kids DB and MR. We had Christmas with them and DB's cute girlfriend Friday night.

Catarina and I needed some serious chick time, so since Keith had to work Saturday, she asked Chip if he would mind helping DB "babysit" MR. MR was going to have a little friend over to play.

The little boy, whom I'll call Sam, was cute as a button. He is hyper with some attention deficit, but obviously very bright. I couldn't believe that child's vocabulary and reasoning skills. When Catarina told MR and Sam that they had to be good for Uncle Chip, MR said with a touch of impatience, "We wiiiiiiilllllllll." To which Sam added, "That was sarcasm. When you say it 'long' like that, it's sarcasm and you don't really mean it." I almost fell off my chair. (The child is eight years old.)

Catarina and I took off shopping. When we returned, it was almost 4:00. Keith was getting off work at 4:00, and we were all going to Chili's for dinner. Sam's grandmother or mother was supposed to come pick Sam up.

Catarina tried to call Sam's mother to let her know we'd be leaving for dinner soon. No answer. She tried to call the mother's cell; no answer. She left a message. Then she tried to get hold of the Sam's grandmother. No answer at home, no answer on the cell. She left messages.

Keith wanted to get to the restaurant because he works near Chili's and saw on the way home that the parking lot was packed. So Catarina left more messages saying that we were taking Sam to dinner with us at Chili's. She even left a note on the door in case they came by.

We hustled to Chili's, taking two cars, and when we arrived, we were told that there would be an hour wait to seat a party of seven. We stood around debating about going somewhere else when Catarina's cell phone rang. It was Sam's grandmother. Catarina told her that we were with Sam at Chili's but we couldn't get in because there was a long wait, and she asked if we should bring Sam home or if Granny wanted to come get him.

Granny's reply: "Well, there's a Christmas party I want to go to, and if I come to pick up Sam, I can't go to the party."

Catarina was speechless, but she stammered out that it was okay, she would feed Sam and Granny could come get her later. When she hung up, she was angry. I told her that she should call Granny right back and tell her to come get the kid, but Catarina didn't feel she could do that. (I love my best friend with all my heart, but sometimes I wish she had a little more spine.)

So … instead of going someplace else to eat, since we were stuck with Sam for a while, Keith decided we'd just get food to go. And MR and Sam decided they didn't want anything from Chili's, so Catarina said she would either make something for them or share her dinner with them. DB took the kids home and Catarina, Keith, Chip and I waited for the food. Catarina was desperately trying to figure out some way of amusing Sam and MR for the rest of the evening and decided they could help bake Christmas cookies. (Yikes!)

By the time we got the food home, it was cold. Catarina portioned out some of her hamburger to give MR and Sam, then returned to the kitchen saying Sam didn't eat hamburgers (I don't either, so I couldn't fault the kid for that). He wanted a quesadilla. Fortunately Keith had ordered quesadilla, so he gave some to Sam. With the kids given food and ensconced in front of the TV with a movie, Catarina finally sat down to eat.

Then the phone rang. It was Sam's grandmother. Catarina said, "Oh, is your party over?" Apparently so, since she said she was coming to get Sam.

I anticipated a tantrum, as MR and Sam had just started watching the movie. However, I did not get to see or hear what happened because everything had upset me so that I began to feel sick and had to go lie down for a while.

I can't believe how some parents just dump their kids on other people and then want to go have their own fun. Nor can I believe Catarina took it.

Other than that, we had a pretty good, though exhausting, weekend.  ::)
Dragons

SC
It will pass. Or not.

Chocolate Cake

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5138
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2006, 03:42:07 PM »
I don't follow how it would have been Sam's grandmother's responsibility to come get him.  That you have a beef with the disappearing act Sam's Mom pulled is quite legitimate, but the grandma should be out of the blame loop, I think.   

By the way, whatever happened to Sam's Mom?   What lame excuse did she pull when she eventually showed up?  Where had she been?

Scritzy

  • Please do not adjust your set.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15895
  • Passing through the iris of the world ...
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2006, 03:51:28 PM »
Granny was the one who dropped him off, so I guess Granny was supposed to be the one who picked him up. I don't think Catarina ever heard back from Sam's mother. It probably goes without saying that the child doesn't have the most stable home life in the world.
Dragons

SC
It will pass. Or not.

goblue2539

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3343
  • Caffeine makes the world go 'round.
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2006, 03:55:59 PM »
I think Sam's granny owes someone an apology.  If she wanted to go to her party, she shouldn't have told anyone that she would pick him up.  As soon as she agreed to that she became responsible for him.

Poor little kid. I feel for him, finding out that a party is more important to granny than he is.  I hope someone's around to give the little guy extra hugs. 

Clara Bow

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 18183
  • I gotta go.
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2006, 04:49:54 PM »
That was absolutely heinous. I hate to finger Grandma, since really this was mother's mistake, but if Grandma was the one responsible for the child for the day...
I hate people who treat children like afterthoughts, or hassles. My son's grandmother's would rather have my son than go to heaven, much less some party. How could you be so cold?
And to expect others to interrupt their plans? And buy your child a meal? I'm not a well woman, I don't need this rattling around in my head....ugh....
I have finally found the bar I can't get thrown out of....

mrsbrandt

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2068
  • I can run under a 9 minute mile!!!
    • Brandts Online
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2006, 05:03:33 PM »
That is outrageous!  I'm shocked that the moment that Granny dropped Sam off she didn't specify when and who would be back to get Sam if it wasn't supposed to her job to pick him up.  What kind of parent/caregiver/ward doesn't think those are important details to provide?  YEEESH!  Catarina was a saint for not causing a scene about it, as I'm sure it would have upset Sam a good bit.  Is Catarina related to these people or is the mother a friend?  I really hope that Catarina reconsiders babysitting should they ever ask again.

Scritzy

  • Please do not adjust your set.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15895
  • Passing through the iris of the world ...
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2006, 05:19:19 PM »
Quote
Is Catarina related to these people or is the mother a friend?  I really hope that Catarina reconsiders babysitting should they ever ask again.

Catarina isn't related, and the mother isn't a friend. Sam is a friend of Cat's youngest, MR. Actually, he's MR's only friend. It was supposed to be a visit, not a babysitting gig. Sam has visited before; he and MR went to an arcade for MR's birthday last month. Catarina was just thrown a major curve this time.
Dragons

SC
It will pass. Or not.

mrsbrandt

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2068
  • I can run under a 9 minute mile!!!
    • Brandts Online
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2006, 05:21:06 PM »
Wow than I'm really shocked that they did this to Catarina.  I guess that I figured they had to be family or close friends to do something this presumptious.  Turning a playdate into a babysitting gig and never making arrangments to have the kid picked up...that's classy.

kherbert05

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9016
    • Trees downed in my yard by Ike and the clean up
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2006, 06:25:48 PM »
I wouldn't blame Catarian much. Depending on the Grandmother's tone, she might have felt the little boy was going to catch flack from the grandmother for "ruining" her evening.

As for a Grandmother choosing a party over a grandchild - oh I can totally believe it now. A few years back I wouldn't have.

Sis and I had 3 grandmothers (one was Dad's Sister's MIL) they each had their own way of showing love. But we knew they would be there for us any time. Dad's Sister's MIL was even a contact on emergency sheets for sis and I (Mom's Mom was in Canada so wasn't listed. Any one of them would drop everything to take care of a child.

Sis's MIL -

One day sis caught a really bad tummy virus, so bad there was no way she could care for Loren. She had to leave her car at work and have someone drive her to the ER (sis's hospital doesn't have an ER). She tried to get hold of me, but the message got scrabbled. In the future sis knows to say it is an emergency. By the time I got it, there wasn't time for me to go to sis's house get her car keys, go to Sis's Hospital get the car seat, and get to Loren before the Day Care closed. So My plan was to go to the day care get Loren and wait in the parking lot (safe neighborhood) until BIL could get there with his car seat. (This all started at 3:30 BIL was working close to Galveston that day.

Sis had called her MIL to ask her to pick up Loren. No she couldn't do that.   Betty had a class to teach. (Betty is Sis's SIL AKA center of the universe) Now note Sis never asks her MIL to babysit - this was a real emergency. Only Betty was scheduled to teach, MIL could just keep Loren in her office at the dance school. BIL called his Mother and Betty and ripped both their heads off, tellingthem if CPS picked up Loren, she would never see either of his girls again. MIL finally went over to get Loren.

Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Slartibartfast

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10400
    • Nerdy Necklaces - my Etsy shop!
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2006, 06:33:33 PM »
Hard to tell Sam's home situation, but I know several of the kids I see in my library are kind of caught in limbo: the parents won't (or can't) care for them, but apparently are good enough to keep custody.  So the kids end up being raised by siblings/grandparents/aunts, who may or may not even *want* to raise the kids.  I wouldn't be at all surprised if Sam's mom is a complete flake (or worse), and Sam's grandmother has had surprise babysitting times dumped on her before.  If she was committed to this Christmas party already, I don't think she should have to cancel her plans just because Sam's mom managed to be unavailable.

That said, if the grandmother had made plans ahead of time to pick up Sam, then it's her responsibility.  But if it was just falling on her to be the responsible adult because Sam's mother didn't feel like it . . . well, I can have more sympathy for that.  It definitely shouldn't have been your place to have to babysit a stranger's kid, but I think full responsiblity (etiquette and legal) rests with Sam's official guardian - whom I assume is his mother.

Scritzy

  • Please do not adjust your set.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15895
  • Passing through the iris of the world ...
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2006, 06:46:16 PM »
I think full responsiblity (etiquette and legal) rests with Sam's official guardian - whom I assume is his mother.

Catarina told me that Sam and his mother are living with Granny because Sam's father took off with an 18-year-old girl. Sam has a brother, too, who has major issues. Believe me, I have plenty of sympathy for the child. He's so very cute and so bright. I don't know if Granny is the full-time babysitter or what, but it was scary that Catarina couldn't get hold of either of them.  :'(
Dragons

SC
It will pass. Or not.

lkdrymom

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 688
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2006, 07:57:32 PM »
Is 'Grandma' any relation to Foxxy's 'friend' Lynn?

Scritzy

  • Please do not adjust your set.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15895
  • Passing through the iris of the world ...
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2006, 08:09:23 PM »
Is 'Grandma' any relation to Foxxy's 'friend' Lynn?

Bwhahahahahaha! I hadn't thought about it, but you could be right!

Wonder what RCL has been up to lately?  ;)
Dragons

SC
It will pass. Or not.

freakyfemme

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4348
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2006, 11:01:03 PM »
Is 'Grandma' any relation to Foxxy's 'friend' Lynn?

Bwhahahahahaha! I hadn't thought about it, but you could be right!

Wonder what RCL has been up to lately?  ;)

Yeah, or maybe she's related to Princess and Princess Mom, lol.

Lisbeth

  • I am a rock, I am an island
  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 29353
  • a/k/a KeenReader
Re: My party comes first!
« Reply #14 on: December 20, 2006, 09:50:49 AM »
Sam's grandmother certainly displayed a callous attitude when it came to her grandson's well-being, but ultimately, it's really Sam's mother's responsibility to make sure that her child is babysat and has transportation to and from the places he goes.  It sounds to me like she didn't establish this with his grandmother so that the grandmother understood that yes, she was babysitting (if she was) and it was thus her responsibility to put her own plans aside for the evening and pick up Sam.  If the grandmother gave me that attitude, I'd have contacted Sam's mother and told her that, and if she didn't do anything, I would have called CPS and let them know that I had an abandoned child on my hands.

I have been wondering about RCL though-maybe Ehelldame will post those threads in her new section too if Foxxy gives permission.

I'm away from sanity right now...please leave a message after the beep.
NYC